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Black Hole

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DO IT FAGGOT!
   
 
A black hole is like this giant bunghole in outer space. It's like it sucks up the whole universe, ... it grinds it up and sends it all to Hell or something.
 

 
 

Neil DeGrasse Tyson


Black Holes are the biggest niggers in the known universe and remain perhaps the single most provocative IRL Troll of modern science. Even after spending most of his crippled life working on the subject the foremost authority, Stephen Hawking, has as of yet been unable to come up with any explanation comprehendable to anyone but himself.

Black Holes are most likely the gateway to eternal life and if you see one you should probably enter it immediately and take your family with you.

How are Black Holes Formed

Black holes are formed when a star with a mass atleast 20x that of the Sun runs out of its Hydrogen fuel. If the star is massive enough, due the immense weight of its outer layers, it will have sufficient Heat and Pressure at its core to fuse even Helium into a higher element, and even that higher element into still higher ones, all the way upto Silicon into Iron. But no matter how big the star is, if it hits Iron, then its game over. You see, Iron being the greedy little Bitch it is, when fused, actually sucks up more surrounding energy than it gives off. When that happens, the core is dead. Its no longer jizzing out any energy. Now nothing can stop the immense inward weight of the outer layers. The Outer Layers collapse at a speed comparable to that of light. Then, due to some complicated quantum phenomena involving neutrinos and shit, the outer layers explode in an explosion colossal enough to cause even Michael Bay to go into heart attack. And the leftover core and some outer material, all of it keeps collapsing under its own weight which is so large, that even Neutron degeneracy is unable to stop it (it stops it in the case of a Neutron Star, which is basically like a Black Hole's little Gay brother. What a pussy). The dead core keeps collapsing with no end in sight, to a point in space called singularity. And since within this tiny volume is contained such a giant amount of mass, it manages to curve the space-time around it like crazy, resulting in a gravitational pull so strong that within a radius of the singularity called Schwarzschild Radius, the escape velocity exceeds the speed of light ie even light is made into the black hole's personal bitch, unable to escape it. Hence the name Black hole.

How To Enter a Black Hole

How Black Holes eat everything and will eventually destroy the universe.
Only pussies go in feet first.

Utilise varying techniques and make sure you always land on your face. It is important to note that going in feet-first is currently only acceptable conduct in the Special Olympics and South Africa.

See Also

Black Hole is part of a series on

SCIENCE!

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