AnonTalk/The Book of Kimmo

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A reading from the Book of Kimmo:

1. And seeing the multitudes, Sysop went up into a lock-down mode: and when he was set, his wiseguys came unto him: And he opened his mouth, and taught them, saying:
2. Fucked are the poor in grammar: for they are the scum of the earth.
3. Blessed are they that know grammar: for no shitlist awaits them.
4. Fucked are those who argue against loli-lovers: for the pedo shall inherit the AnonTalk.
5. Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after lolis: for they shall be satisfied by this site.
6. Fucked are those who sympathise towards those poor of grammar : for they shall obtain shitlisting.
7. Blessed are those who report the slightest error: for they shall see wiseguy status.
8. Fucked are the authorities: for they cannot pin anything on us.
9. Blessed are they which do attack our enemies forums: for theirs is the gratitude of Sysop.
10. Fucked are ye, when men shall raid you, and attack you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
11. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in AnonTalk: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.
12. Ye are the AnTs of the earth: but if an AnT have lost his ability to proof-read, wherewith shall he be taked? It is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be shitlisted under foot of men.
13. Ye are the light of the world. A site that is set on an hill cannot be shut down.
14. Neither do men read a dictionary, and put it not into a bookshelf, but on a podium; and it gives correct spelling unto all that are in the immediate area.
15. Let your ability to punctuate, spell and structure so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Sysop which is in grammar heaven.
16. Think not that I have come to destroy the Internet, or the people who run it: I am not come to destroy, but to teach grammar.
17. For grammar I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one error or one lack of period shall in no wiseguy pass from the shitlist, till all be fulfilled.
18. Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least grammar commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the shitlist: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the ICare group.
19. For I say unto you, That except your grammar shall exceed the grammar of the wiseguys and Sysop, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of AnonTalk.
20. Ye have heard that it was said of them of old time, Thou shalt not capitalise randomly; and whosoever shall capitalise randomly shall be in danger of the shitlist:
21. But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his Sysop without a cause shall be in danger of the shitlist: and whosoever shall say to his Sysop, I hate punctuating, shall be in danger of the shitlist: but whosoever shall say, Thou suck, shall be in danger of shitlisting.
22. Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the Internet, and there remembers that thy Sysop hath ought against thee;
23. Leave there thy donation before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy Sysop, and then come and offer thy donation.
24. Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary raid thee to the downtime, and the downtime deliver thee to the lack of grammar, and thou be cast into the shitlist.
25. Verily I say unto thee, Thou shalt by no means come out thence, till thou hast paid the uttermost attention to the recent bulletins.
26. Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit raids:
27. But I say unto you, That whosoever looks on a site to intention to raid after it hath committed a raid against it already in his heart.
28. And if thy views eye offend me, pluck them out out, and cast them from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy dogmas should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into the shitlist.
29. And if thy typing hand hand betrays thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy hands should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into the shitlist.
30. It hath been said, Whosoever shall state his anti-pedo views, let him write:
31. But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his pro-pedo attitudes, saving for the cause of agreeing with a bulletin, causes himself to commit to the shitlist: and whosoever shall state those views goes to the shitlist.
32. Again, ye have heard that it hath been said by them of old time, Thou shalt not proof-read seven times over , but shalt merely post and edit later:
33. But I say unto you, proof-read at all times; by AnonTalk; for it is Sysop's throne: by the Internet; for it is his footstool: by topics; for it is the domain of the great Sysop.
34. Neither shalt thou not proof-read by thy head, because thou canst not hide from the shitlist.
35. But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these comes of the shitlist.
36. Ye have heard that it hath been said, A shitlisting for a shitlisting, and a ban for a ban: But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, report him.
37. And if any man will accuse thee at the rules, and take away thy intention to report, let him have thy report also. And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him to the shitlist.
38. Give to him that asks thee for grammar tips, and from him that would report of thee turn not thou away.
39. Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy fellow AnTs, and hate thine other sites.
40. But I say unto you, Love your other sites, educate with grammar them that curse you, tell to punctuate those that hate you, and shitlist them which evilliy use you, and ban you;
41. That ye may be the children of your Sysop which is in AnonTalk: for he makes his site to rise on the evil and on the good, and send grammar rules on the just and on the unjust.
42. For if ye use AnonTalk with those who use it alongside you, what reward have ye? Do not even the Sysop the same? And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the Sysop so?
43. Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Sysop which is in AnonTalk is perfect.

Here endeth the first reading.

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