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Attack of the Show
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This page has potential but it needs a lot of work. It could benefit from humor, wikification. Discuss edits that might add to the lulz on this article's talk page. |
Attack of the Show, or AOTS for short, is an unfunny show on G4 about boobies and internets. Once upon a time there was a show called The Screen Savers on a television channel called TechTV. Although kind of boring, it wasn't half bad. But sometime last Thursday, The Screen Savers was acquired by G4 during the merger with TechTV. Once acquired, the faggots in the board room were unpleased with the shows ratings, and fagged it up into Attack of the Show. Instead of having half way decent people host the show who knew what they were doing like on The Screen Savers, they said "Hey, lets hire some people who are just as intelligent as the audience we want to target!" Hence the worst offense to God, Attack of the Show was born. Instead of helping technologically retarded people fixing their computers, showing awesome case mods, and talking about interesting software like on The Screen Savers; AOTS talked about news, weblogs, OMG SEX TALK, and movies.
Attack of the Show is not only the capital of G4aggotry, but is one of its many unwatchable shows.
Hosts and Personalities
Kevin Pereira
Lead nublet, also that guy who hangs around with the fratboys trying to be cool. Most likely an annoying drama kid in school. Is the host of AOTS because 12-year-old pill popping boys like to worship and cum on their screen to this cunt-face. Although an illiterate moron, he is MUCH smarter than Olivia.
Olivia Munn
A team of six engineers works around the clock with girders, shock-resistant foam, and double-sided tape to amplify Munn's average-sized breasts into rigid, immobile porn-star globes. Also, a suspected Scifag, and confirmed furry (She's a panda). She also must have Jew blood in her, look at the hair, totally Jewish!
The whore's on The Daily Show now. [1]
Her first bit was about crying because Vietnamese seafood fisherman are out of business due to the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. The bit started with awkward banter between the kike and her, with her claiming Vietnamese heritage, then failing to speak the language properly. Finally, the Daily Show writers must have woken up after a heroin binge and realized the great mistake they've made. They then proceeded to send in all of the other correspondents to shit all over Munn's bit, using the tactic of complaining about another minority taking the scene and limelight from the others. GG Daily Show writers. While the hiring of Munn can be seen as a failure on their part, their quickness to realize their blunder and swiftness to react is admirable, unlike the nonexistent reaction to the cancer that is killing /b/.
Also, without the AOTS make-up crew not there to perk up her tits, you could grasp the true magnitude, or lack thereof, of the flatness of Olivia Munn's chest.
Chris Gore
Reviews DVDs for ATOS, all he really does is talk about furry porn and refer to it as whatever movies he is supposed to be talking about.
Layla Kayleigh
She is an Unfunny Brit fag that does the segment called "The Feed". Ironically, Kaleigh herself does not eat.
Blair Butler
Sexy Queen of all Nerds, has a devoted cult of worshipers who fap daily to her.
black person
Token black guy, reviews shit he stole before he pawns it for malt liquor.
Adam Sessler and Morgan Manjaw
The two unfunny nerds who "co-host" (Morgan was just put on the show to distract viewers from how much of a faggot Adam is with her bewbies) the shit-fest that is X-play. They are occasionally put on the show when all the other replacements are busy.
Kevin Rose
before he left the faggitory to create Digg.
Zach Selwyn
Ugly luser who is so obnoxious and annoying he is constantly sent to other countries to get assraped all over the world. He is the "reporter" of the show. He tries desperately to be funny and edgy, but fails miserably, every single time.
Chris Hardwick
Also known as "Chris Hardick" His main position on the show is reviewing tech with Kevin. He is probably best known for calling Wil O'Neal a black person on live television then shooting him in the abdomen with a colt .45. He now has a show on the BBC called The Nerdist, where he talks about how much he's obsessed with Doctor Who.
Jew
Occasionally appears to (of course) raise the show's boob quotient and cement a rep as a sex expert by telling adolescents how to be sensitive when their fat girlfriend catches them fapping. Somehow also ended up on The Today Show a few times and worked for People magazine.
Threat to Anonymous
On the July 31st episode of Attack of the Show, Kevin Pereira and Olivia Munn announced they would do a segment on 4chan, showing no regard for rules 1 & 2. In fear of newfags, Anonymous shat himself. 4chan's moot, the weeaboo appeaser he is, told 4chan not to worry. 7chan responded in the only two ways it knew, PARTY HARD and burn fucking everything. 420chan aided the chans in trolling the g4 boards for great justice.
Before the segment aired on August 2nd, Kevin Pereira and Olivia Munn responded to Anonymous' cowering by acknowledging they broke rules 1 & 2 and saying they luuuuuuuuv 4chan. G4TV also had every incriminating piece of evidence yanked off of YouTube under copyright claims. The segment has yet to air.
The result of all the drama is yet to be seen, but it looks as though it can be chalked up as a win for Anon. A close call, but a win nonetheless.
Viewer Faggotry
Even with AOTS' pussying out, over 9,000 G4 and AOTS viewers flocked to /b/. In an unholy torrent of fail almost on par with gaiafags, many made failed attempts at being funny with fucktarded suggestions at re-raiding Tom Green, imitating EFG and multiple threads about beer, stupid ass computer questions, chicks and their favorite G4 shows. The day ended with at least 100 threads demanding intervention by moot from the oldfags, not to mention offers to suck off snack's dick and earnest pleas for the b& hammer.
They also think AOTS is all things internet.
Oh noes, teh Drama
On October 11, 2007, they announced that Heroes and Lost are coming to their channel in order to increase teh ratings! This made many fanboys and fangirls give up hope for the ill-fated channel that has nothing to do with games. Honestly, who gives a fuck about Heroes and Lost? What's next, old episodes of COPS? Oh...
Criticisms
Though Entertainment Weekly have publicly exclaimed that they would open their collective mouths in eagerness awaiting Kevin Pereira's nuts, In an interview with Today, the editor-in-chief John Huey stated that "The only reason I watch that pile of Horseshit is because I whack off to Olivia Munn during the commercials so she can't see me."
Attack of the Show was also slammed on many internet forums for being, and I quote, "Teh Ghey."
Gallery of a hotard
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Olivia likes to ask personal questions to weird people out
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Trying to look cool amongst nerds
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Just showing off what the sexless freaks want
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She believes if she gets someone to write a book about her, this will make her look smart -
An attention seeking whore
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Attack of the Show is part of a series on Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage. |