Call of Duty: WWII

Call of Duty: WWII, also known as "Another WWII Game But 10 Years Later So It's Okay I Guess" is Activision's latest attempt to satisfy the raging cesspool that is Call of Duty's fanbase. After the space opera Infinite Warfare got royally shit on by Battlefield 1 and torn to shreds by the community, Advanced Warfare dev Sledgehammer Games is digging into the dusty old chest of gaming history and resurrecting what is literally the most overdone setting for an FPS: World War II. Essentially you can expect it to be just like all those carbon copy World War II shooter of the early 2000's but in "HD n3xt gen grahphiks".

Campaign

Let's put it this way, the game isn't even out yet but we already know the story. You play as some American recruit who gets thrown on a landing craft that of course, takes you to none other than fucking Normandy Beach. Simply put you shoot some krauts, try not to step on a Bouncing Betty, follow your objectives, and eventually end up at some climactic battle where everybody fucking dies but you save the day and become an hero because that's just how shit works.

Multiplayer

Gee I don't know, how about play fucking World at War again and see how much of difference there is?

Weapons

Being that this is World War II you can expect to see real weapons in this game unless liberal butthurt somehow overcame historical accuracy. Since the game isn't out yet, this what we can probably expect.

Submachine Guns

Literally this was the fucking SMG war.

• MP40: If it's anything like it's World at War version, the inclusion of other guns is pointless.
• Thompson: High rate of fire .45 SMG for people who have mobster fantasies.
• M3 Grease Gun: Not much to say about it other than it only looks slightly more durable than the Sten. Slighty.
• Sten: Britbong SMG built out of steel pipes and too much gin. Looks like it will explode on a trigger pull.
• PPSh-41: A Russian SMG that shoots un-fuckingbelievably fast and can be equipped with a huge ass drum to shower targets in lulz.
• Type-100: Gook SMG that's probably going to be the most unused gun in the entire game.
• MAB-38: Italian. It's really going to suck isn't it?

Shotguns

Fucking gib them.

• M1897 Trench Gun: Likely to be the only shotgun worth using in the whole game unless they add the same shit Battlefield 1 has along with it.
• Double Barreled Shotgun: Literally shit tier.
• Automatic 5: Spam tastic semi auto shotgun. Probably fucking piss damage.
• Model 1887: They have no reason to include this thing other than cool factor. Okay fine, whatever.
• Model 12: Another pump action. Who gives a shit.
• Ithaca 37: Also known as the Stakeout.

Self Loading Rifles

Because bolt actions require too much fucking skill.

• M1 Garand: Ping. That is all.
• Gewehr 43: German rifle that will undoubtedly be used by every single camping fuckface in the game.
• SVT-40: See above by make it undoubtedly more Russian.
• M1 Carbine: Lightweight but does fuck all damage.
• PTRS-41: Monsterous seven foot long Russian anti-tank rifle which will undoubtedly be used as a Barrett .50 cal substitute.

Bolt Action Rifles

Quickscope like it's 1945.

• Springfield: American bolt action rifle. Whoopdee fucking doo.
• Mosin-Nagant: Revered Russian rifle that nearly every gun enthusiast will cream themselves over it's inclusion.
• Kar98k: German bolt action rifle which is likely indistinguishable from the others.
• Arisaka: Another gook gun that nobody is going to fucking use.
• SMLE: Britfag bolt action rifle. Jolly good.
• PTRD-41: See the PTRS but make it single loading and just as fucking ridiculous.

Machine Guns

Gun down the masses.

• Browning M1919: .30 caliber American machine gun. It's spam-tastic.
• MG42: German machine gun infamous for it's fucking ridiculous rate of fire. Set up a bipod and and watch the limbs go flying.
• BAR: Slow ass rate of fire and a small clip but hits hard as fuck to compensate.
• Bren MK2: You can tell it's British by the way they mounted the fucking magazine.
• FG-42: German battle rifle with a stupid high rate of fire but a need to constantly fucking reload due to the small ammo capacity.
• DP-28: Russian LMG with a spinning metal pancake on top.
• STG-44: The Kraut's death dealing assault rifle of choice. Kicks a fuckton but drops faggots dead at considerable range.

Sidearms

Because your bolt action sucks ass up close.

• M1911: If they didn't include this gun Americunts would probably riot.
• Luger P08: Classy as fuck German pistol.
• Walther P38: Basically a less cool version of the Luger. Who gives a shit.
• Nambu: Looks like a shit tier Luger clone built by the gooks. Nobody will use it.
• Tokerev TT-33: Russian pistol that will undoubtedly be the best balanced of all the sidearms in the game.
• C96 Mauser: Old ass German pistol. Because the the fuck not.
• S&W 27: .357 Magnum revolver that kills in two shots at the expense of having wrist snapping recoil.

Launchers

Allahu ackbar.

• Panzerschreck: Big ass German rocket launcher with a huge fucking shield that takes up your whole screen.
• M1 Bazooka: This thing practically speaks for itself. Blow shit up the old fashioned way.
• Panzerfaust: Single shot disposable piece of shit rocket launcher. Who the fuck cares.

Other

• M2 Flamethrower: Perfect for roasting Japs and Krauts alike in their own bunkers.

Related Articles

• Call of Duty: World at War - The same game.
• Battlefield 1942 - The same game.
• Medal of Honor - The same game.
• Company of Heroes - The same game.

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