Call of Duty: WWII

Call of Duty: WWII, also known as "Another WWII Game But 10 Years Later So It's Okay I Guess" is Activision's latest attempt to satisfy the raging cesspool that is Call of Duty's fanbase. After the space opera Infinite Warfare got royally shit on by Battlefield 1 and torn to shreds by the community, Advanced Warfare dev Sledgehammer Games is digging into the dusty old chest of gaming history and resurrecting what is literally the most overdone setting for an FPS: World War II. Essentially you can expect it to be just like all those carbon copy World War II shooter of the early 2000's but in "HD n3xt gen grahphiks".

Campaign

Let's put it this way, the game isn't even out yet but we already know the story. You play as some American recruit who gets thrown on a landing craft that of course, takes you to none other than fucking Normandy Beach. Simply put you shoot some krauts, try not to step on a Bouncing Betty, follow your objectives, and eventually end up at some climactic battle where everybody fucking dies but you save the day and become an hero because that's just how shit works.

Multiplayer

Gee I don't know, how about play fucking World at War again and see how much of difference there is? Oh actually, there a pretty big difference; CoD WWII makes World at War look like the fucking Citizen Kane of the series. For all of World at War's shit, it stayed relatively true to it's core material, gloss over hauling a seven foot long AT rifle around but it looked and I guess if you were high, felt like World War II. CoD WWII throws all that shit right out the window in the name of appeasing butthurt SJWs and feminists. While the campaign is apparently sticking close to what World War II was, Sledgehammer said they're dumbing down the historical aesthetic to appeal to wider audience which goes right in line of previous CoDs and their weed filled, rainbow camouflage cesspools. You know, shit like that is acceptable in any of the other primarily fictional CoDs but a game based off World War II? Jesus fucking christ. Basically there's no Swastikas, black solidiers fighting for the Nazis, and female soldiers on both sides. Honestly, if you're making a game based of a real event(at least very much visually in this game's sense) from a different time period in which millions of people fought and died and those that didn't were likely traumatized for life, wouldn't staying true to your source material be the number one priority out of respect? Actually no, fuck that. Let's just appease an overly sensitive minority of modern society and just blatantly shit all over history. Let's not make people aware of all the horrors of World War II and leave them with the assumption that grandpa killed black female German soldiers with his gold plated Thompson. Not like most of them play the CoD campaigns anyways.

TL;DR- Sledgehammer caved to SJWs.

Anyways, historical inaccuracy rant over, WWII scraps literally everything that made CoD multiplayer what it was for the past decade, and by everything I mean create a class. Instead you pick from a bunch of divisions with fixed "perks" and literally fuck all customization. This also means there's hardly any weapons in the game considering it only limited itself to the the fucking European theater.

Weapons

Being that this is World War II you can expect to see real weapons in this game unless liberal butthurt somehow overcame historical accuracy.

UPDATE: It kind of did.

Submachine Guns

Literally this was the fucking SMG war, if they even bother to include more than three.

• MP40: If it's anything like it's World at War version, the inclusion of other guns is pointless.
• Thompson: High rate of fire .45 SMG for people who have mobster fantasies.
• M3 Grease Gun: Stamped out of sheetmetal and will probably fall apart.

Shotguns

Fucking gib them.

• Winchester 1897: Likely to be the only shotgun worth using in the whole game.
• Toggle Action: Semi automatic shotgun. Literally struggling to find more words here.

Rifles

Because bolt actions require too much fucking skill.

• M1 Garand: Ping. That is all.
• BAR: Bound to run out of ammo when you need it most with it's pitifully small magazine.
• STG-44: The Kraut's death dealing assault rifle of choice. Kicks a fuckton but drops faggots dead at considerable range.

Bolt Action Rifles

Quickscope like it's 1945.

• M1903: American bolt action rifle. Whoopdee fucking doo.
• Kar98k: German bolt action rifle which is likely indistinguishable from the others. Can use a fucking magazine for some reason.

Light Machine Guns

Gun down the masses.

• Lewis: Why not the Browning? Literally only here because of Battlefield 1.
• MG15: Never will be as cool as the MG42.

Sidearms

Because your bolt action sucks ass up close.

• M1911: If they didn't include this gun Americunts would probably riot.
• Luger P08: Classy as fuck German pistol.

Launchers

Allahu ackbar.

• Panzerschreck: Big ass German rocket launcher with a huge fucking shield that takes up your whole screen.
• M1 Bazooka: This thing practically speaks for itself. Blow shit up the old fashioned way.

Other

• M2 Flamethrower: Perfect for roasting Krauts in their own bunkers.

Related Articles

• Call of Duty: World at War - The same game.
• Battlefield 1942 - The same game.
• Medal of Honor - The same game.

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