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Ravenswood
Ravenswood is a television spin-off of Pretty Little Liars is a shitty 2017 Australian attempt at a horror movie that's trying to bank of the success of better things. Produced by Ignite Pictures, a company owned by Ignite Elite Artists, a talent agency that prides in its talent own family making it big in Hollywood, the film's aim was to make as much money as possible without actually being scary.
Influenced by the great classics such as The Room and Birdemic, it tries to steal the techniques and story telling of those films but surprisingly does a worse job than what they could offer. In the end you have a cheap cash-in that tries to present itself has "hot shit" but is just a feeble attempt at a snuff film and to promote the producer's son. The film also includes clothed sex scenes so you can watch people grind up on each other whilst still having their pants and shirt on!
The premise
A bunch of Americunt teens (but really they're Australians with really terrible accents) who are constantly horny, want to tour an abandoned hospital so they can hide from the tour group to fuck, but are suddenly picked off by an evil Doctor possessing one of them.
Production
With a budget of one shirt button, the film was produced using a camera stolen from an amateur porn casting with windows movie maker to edit.
For cast, Ignite decided to hire most of its actors from its own "talent" books with the luxury of offering them no pay, with the agency and production company CEO's own son, Adam Horner, as the main star to show how awesome he'd be for Hollywood.
Script
The film's script features award-winning dialogue which can be compared to such great classics as Gone With the Wind and Cat On a Hot Tin Roof.
Such great quotes as ...
Reception
With so much hype by the film's production company, it's press releases and cast at how "good" it was, surely it turned out great?
No, 3.0 on IMDb. Even the film sites and blogs that were bribed to say good things before its release had now said it was terrible.
Awards?
Despite being a failed attempt at a snuff film, it somehow won awards. Having the honor of winning such illustrious awards from such well-renowned festivals as ...
- Amsterdam Film Festival - Excellence in Cinematography Award
- IndieFEST Film Awards - Award of Merit
- Southern Sykos Film Festival - Best Feature Film
Hell, let's just make up some awards.
You earned it Ignite.
The movie itself
Seriously don't pay to watch this movie. That money would be better spent on food or a hooker.
Here, just watch the film for free.
Or go watch a better Australian horror. GO WATCH THE BABADOOK.
Gallery
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Ride to Hell: Retribution had better clothed sex scenes. They were also longer.
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Now available on Redbox, where even less people will give a shit about it
External links
- It's official website
- Official YouTube channel
- Their official Facebook page. They love it when you post on there how terrible the movie was
- It's IMDb page. Make sure to downvote the hell out of it, otherwise its actors will upvote it
- Where most of the film's slave labor came from
Ravenswood is part of a series on Visit the Media Portal for complete coverage. |