Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

Porch pirate

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
This is the current revision of this page, as edited by imported>Moogshroom at 15:51, 11 March 2018. The present address (URL) is a permanent link to this version.
(diff) ← Older revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
File:Porch pirate and his date.jpg
back in the day the pirates had respect for the dead, now they have a boner
File:Porchpirateloot.jpg
booty seized by the FBI
File:Artist's depiction of a porch pirate.jpg
what porch pirates think they look like
File:Fatwomanstealingcandy.jpg
what the reality looks like

Porch pirate is a term used to describe practitioners of porch piracy, a term coined by the MSM. It's the newest form of gibsmedat, pioneered by commies, crackheads and porch monkeys. Not to be confused with actual piracy, as no sightings of porches in Somalia have been reported since the great Hot Cocoa Expeditions of 1879. The reason being, that a porch requires a white man to build it, but Somalia is 100% black. Unlike digital piracy, no copies are made of the cardboard box or its contents, but all kind of pirates share a common trait of smelling like shit.

   
 
It is estimated there are at least 600 000 porch pirates in the USA alone, 37% of them are children.
 

 
 

—Amnesty, 2015

The Environment

Porch piracy in its purest form may only occur in Florida. The sub-vestibulian conditions are fit as it has already been flooded with niggers, therefore the only missing element is a flood of water and alcoholic beverages.
As of today, no seaworthy porches have been located aside from the ones below the sea level, which are considered to be a myth as stories about Atlantis are proven to be an early example of fanfiction.

Ackchyually

population of your city (divided by) the amount of niggers in your city equals x
multiply x by 20, if it's 8pm-5am otherwise by 5 equals y
cubic meter of the cardboard box (divided by) square meter of the Amazon logo on the box equals ö
take ö and shove it up uranus ?? next time order a bunch of printed job application templates 3=====D~~ Ö

Videos

cabin boys are sent to do the dirty work

the old lady's got a warm surprise for the seafarers

a piratess not even worthy of being a landlubber

Clinton News Network reporting on trapped treasure chests

External Links

Porch pirate
is part of a series on
Fox News

[Back to The StudioOver To You]