Alt-Porn
Alt-Porn is the abbreviation of "alternative pornography". What makes it so alternative?
Like every other five dollar crack whore, the chicks have fucking tattoos!!! Whoa, awesome!!
This genre is aimed at teenage hipsters and rebels, as the girls always fit some sort of Scene ideal. Punk, Emo or Goth crack addicted Internet models are usually recruited via Myspace or some other sort of Internet scheme. Girls are handpicked by fake feminists for their ill thought out piercings that encompass their entire face and their permanent body suit of regrettable and cliche tattoos. While being heavily tattooed isn't a requirement, the subculture veterans will shun any "un-modded" n00bs. Active BME membership is required for any scene points to become activated.
One of the biggest cliches in the websites is claiming that they are "woman owned and operated". Generally this means that some douche-bag convinced his girlfriend (or in some cases, a friend that is a girl) to be the "spokes model" and say the whole thing was her idea. This would be believable, but the women in question generally have no business sense and spend most of their time doing blow and partying, unlike their male "vice presidents" who stand in the shadows doing all the work for them, paying the models, organizing the photo shoots and keeping the "spokes model" so coked out of her mind she couldn't even talk let alone run the company or website.
Alt-Porn websites
Alt-Porn.net
The go-to site for Alt-Porn related happenings and goings on. The only way models and websites can get notice here is if they suck the admins cocks, and that's only good for a little blurb of praise. Alternatively, they could piss them off and get an article that is critique on their pubes or some other form of faggotry.
Suicide Girls and any model with "Suicide" in their name have been black listed and are never mentioned on the site, unless it is in a negative manner.
This site is notoriously under the influence of Forrest Black and Amelia G from the Blue Blood corporation. This has caused those not getting reciprocated with dick sucking and generally bashed to totally disregard and snark about the sites quality and "unbiased" viewpoint.
BellaVendetta
If you like tattoos, piercings, AND crazy fucking fetishes, BellaVendetta is the place for you. The site is also known for being where Alt-Porn stars go to have their careers die.
Basically if they think there is a market for smearing something nasty on their vagoo or for pretending to be dead, loli, or anything else, they will do it. You can never have enough period blood porn anyways.
The site owner Bella is an "ethical porn star" and claims that she will not "act" in a film with someone that she doesn't have a deep emotional connection to. This is her way of justifying being cum, shit, bleed and pissed on by people other than her boyfriend or husband of the hour.
Bella also likes dressing up like a clown (alias "Bumble") and fucking balloon animals. No, really. Make sure you hire her for your kids next birthday party for a show that everyone is sure to enjoy.
Lately there were rumors floating around the Alt-Porn rumor mill about the site as we know it shutting down. This is likely, as recently the only fresh content appearing on the site are announcements Bella makes begging people to come watch her strip.
If the site does shut down, supposedly it would be reopening with a moar vanilla outlook and content. This has yet to happen, ensuring that we still have all the crack whore porn (as in, porn of whores doing crack) we could possibly want.
Blue Blood
There are a multitude of sites encompased under the Blue Blood franchise, ranging from your run of the mill multi-girl sites to their contract stars solo sites. Despite good press and being a moderately better knock-off of Suicide Girls, they have a reputation of metaphorically fucking models in the ass.
There's a rumor going around that when they started out they intentionally hired girls with drug habits so they could pay them with blow. This is of course just a rumor and probably started by some jealous model who wasn't allowed in their elitist ranks. For some reason people believe Forrest and Amelia to be alt-porn kings and pioneers, and are awfully bitter when their ass-kissing gets them no where.
They like to claim that they've been around longer than Suicide Girls and that SG is a knock off of them, but if you look closely and understand how to use a calendar you'll notice Suicide Girls was online before they were. The only ones that attest to otherwise are the sites Alt-Porn.net and the Blue Blood corporation. While Blue Blood was online in 1997 like they claim, it was before Forrest Black bought the domain. That is, unless they were doing gothic horse insemination. While BlueBlood.net was around in 1999, before Suicide Girls, they weren't doing porn.
Gothic Sluts was around, but they were so shitty and miniscule. Plus their models weren't heavily tattooed or pierced, just a bunch of "gothic sluts" in wigs and make-up.
A notable model whose career Amelia fucked up is Szandora LaVey. Aside from supposedly threatening legal action against her when she tried to start a site without their help, they allegedly hacked her and fucked her shit up. Regardless if that is true or not, her career nose dived when she grew weary of Amelia's whiny gothic faggotry. This is probably because the folks at BlueBlood made sure she didn't work with anyone out side of their incestuous network and that they were her only industry contacts. This is the main strategy with all of their contract girls.
Despite editing this article to make herself look like a tough guy, Amelia G apparently loves ED moar than Wikipedia.
Some sites that fall under the Blue Blood umbrella:
- Barely Evil - mostly chicks painted red with poorly applied devil horns in front of a red background.
- Blue Blood.com - Suicide Girls on crack
- Blue Blood.net - goth culture e-zine
- Gothic Sluts - same as Blue Blood
- Scar13 - Their contract starlet, Scar
- Szandora, who they still make money off of even though she wants nothing to do with them anymore. Contracts suck, Models should not have to honor them.
Broken Dollz
Despite using the same basic marketing strategy as every other Alt-porn smut factory, Brokendollz is the only one dumb enough to call these women strong, individualistic rebels, and easy blissed-out plastic fuck toys (dolls) in the same sentence.
There are two kinds of girls who model on Broken Dollz:
- The Feminist, who somehow convinces themselves that they are doing the world a favor by stripping down and spreading their pussy lips open for this website. Most of the time they don't believe in shaving or have some sort of gross habit (like masturbating on their period and posting pictures) that makes subscribers cringe and scream WTF. These girls will sometimes also convince themselves that they can somehow "save" the porn industry or change it so it is in their image. Their fall from self-righteous savior to cynical porn hater would be depressing if it just wasn't so lulzy.
- The Ex-Suicide Girl is usually still in denial about their porn career and thinks that girl on girl and masturbation simply do not qualify as porn. Broken Dollz is merely a stepping stone for them. After appearing on Broken Dollz they will usually descend deeper down the porn spiral. After doing their 5th hardcore anal gang-bang they might acknowledge that yes, they were doing porn all along.
It's a mediocre site at best with a self-rightous undertone that will turn off anyone who isn't a feminist nazi. What little fapping there is to be had could easily be done to the free galleries at any other site. The pictures are generally uninspired and carbon copies of those of every other Alt-Porn site.
Burning Angel
When Burning Angel first started out they claimed it was run by Chummy and Mitch Fontaine, two college buddies looking to make some money and score some ass.
Later they claimed it was started by Chummy, Mitch Fontaine and Joanna Angel, two college buddies with a sincere love for porn and a raging feminist who wanted to change the way the world thought about the female form.
Then they claimed it was run by just Mitch and Joanna, a porn fanatic and a hard-ass punk rocker chick.
Now they just claim it's run by Joanna, a porn starlet hungry for cock and pussy. They stopped trying to claim any sort of feminist affiliation because no one was buying it. This is probably because a good portion of their videos depict the models being choked, spit on, date raped or generally being treated like the cum-dumpsters they are.
Despite the incessant claiming that Joanna is the reigning leader of the Burning Angel empire, her name appears no where in web domain registration. It appears no where in legal documents. If anything is signed, it is by Mitch. If anything is bought, it is by Mitch. Some of the girls forget that they're supposed to pretend that Joanna is in charge and will refer to Mitch at their boss or imply that it is in fact him pulling the strings around the office. The reality is Joanna is only a face, and does jack-shit other than publicity.
BA likes to claim to be indie, despite riding the traditional media wave on Eon Mckai's back. This means the road to success was paved by VCA, then sold out as quickly as possible to Hustler. Joanna frequently works for many other companies, totally killing any indie cred "her" company ever had.
CrazyBabe
This is more along the lines of "girls stripping in hotels" than it is Alt-Porn, but a lot of sluts who have made a name for themselves in the subculture appear on this site. That said, there are also a fuck-ton of no-name attention whores and crack whores to choose from. Just about every STD and mental disorder is on tap here.
You really have to question the models sensibility, given that they are going to skeezy motels, alone, with a guy to take naked and pornographic pictures. They probably don't mind being ass-raped, as long as they get pretty pictures to add to their portfolio.
DeviantNation
One of the only Alt-Porn websites that still openly and publicly accepts Lithium Picnic and Apnea despite them saying HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS regarding their holy war against Suicide Girls and being unhonest about what they did with money donated to them. This should set you up for DeviantNation's moral standing and self-serving attitude that would make them perfect for Suicide Girls. That is, if the owner Chad Grant (DN alias "Satan") wasn't a jealous prick who tried to hack into their site to fuck their shit up.
While Lithium Picnic complained that he was loosing so much money and couldn't take the heat from Suicide Girls anymore, when Chad Grant was in the same exact position he stuck to his guns and came out on top in the lawsuit SG filed against him. He didn't make any money back, but at least he is just a douche instead of a fucking sell-out pussy.
GodsGirls
The site started out when things with Suicide Girls started to really hit the fan in big smeary lumps. The "founder", a one Annelise, was on in early 20's when she decided to open a nude punk-rock emporium of her very own.
Instead of trying to appear punk, feminist and DIY like Suicide Girls initially did, Annelise straight out said that the site was none of those things. Their lure for nubile, naive models was that modeling nude on the internet would get you attention and money. Though not as starry-eyed or fictionally ethical as the Suicide Girls lure, it was a good one. They had bitches throwing off clothes left and right.
The ace in their pocket in terms of marketing is that they "do not lie". They make their lack of morals and integrity open for everyone to see, so everyone knows they're not full of shit, right? WRONG.
While the site is in Annelise's name, and Annelise is technically considered a female by the definition of the word, the site is not owned and operated by her. Annelise comes from a rich family. Where did her family get their money? Porn. Offworld Media Group is the official owner of the site, pays all the bills and girls and in the end makes the profit. What does this mean? Well it means that the site that set out to be an "honest" Alt-Porn site turns out to be full of shit anyway. Lulz.
Annelise is abusive to models and a bitch in general. Though GG doesn't have an exclusivity contract, she brow beats girls into appearing only on her site, telling them that they don't want to appear slutty by being on too many sites. OH NO, APPEARING NUDE ON GODSGIRLS DOESN'T MAKE YOU A SLUT!! BUT IF YOU APPEAR ON TOO MANY SITES, YOU WILL BE A WHORE!! ...Right.
Annelise will call the girls "tattooed whores", make them cry during shoots and pays them chicken shit for what they would get at least $300 for on Suicide Girls [1].
GodsGirls like to claim that they're not trying to be the next Suicide Girls, and that the two sites have nothing in common. Their lulzy attempts at defaming SG, calling their girls whores and insinuating that GGs are Alt-Porn gods is alone enough to prove that the two sites are exactly alike.
Lazer Bunny
As of yet the owner of Lazer Bunny, Sean Addamz, isn't claiming that a woman had any part in the development and birth of the site. Probably because it's sole purpose and function is to get Sean's dick sucked.
The videos are lame as the only thing you hear is shitty indie music. Forget hearing the sound of a rock-hard dick plowing into a sloppy and wet pussy, instead you're treated to ironic and hip tunes that will irritate you endlessly. Not because they're necessarily bad, but because they really kill any sort of fapping mood you may be in. Another contributing factor to the videos lameness is that Sean is in them and lets be honest, his dick is nothing to write home about.
The picture sets are blurry, uninspired and often lit poorly. Fapping to these pictures is only a little better than fapping to scrambled cable porn.
He has been getting a lot of attention lately, probably because he pissed off Sinead and she ranted about what a prick he is in her blog, while posting the IM conversation they had of him telling her what an unprofessional moron she is for not wanting to suck his dick for free. It might also have something to do with the interview AltPorn.net did with him, but that is less lulzy/interesting.
He has been known to abuse and degrade models--not in the porn, but behind the scenes working with them. Only a few talked about the experience but then deleted everything.
No fauxxx
Well, oh well. Apparently there is a cunt-helmed alt-porn site. Showing its female-coded origins in its ugly and Netscape-quaint layout, No fauxxx proclaims itself a source of pornography without the faux. But, just what do they consider faux, or bullshit? Seems Trouble, the owner, genuinely is a batshit-insane feminist, and denies any need to link penises to men and vulvas to women. Everything's accordingly undercut by a lack of content which plays to heterosexual male desire and shows cute women using salami or playing lesbian. The tattoos are there, and the piercings are there, but anybody who doesn't belong in a closet or kitchen is gonna be left soft by the models and what their grand ideas of queer theory and anarchism have wrought upon their bodies.
So, what exactly do you get? If you bother to waste the $13 for a month's subscription, you can see women-come-faggy-men with strap-on jelly cocks, dykish women fucking men who look like fags in the ass with jelly cocks, tattoed women who look like and claim to be men tearing up carpet, sex involving a 300 pound man with a cunt, and a faggy music luminary riding Hitachi to orgasm. It's cruelty-free, genuinely transgressive, and that's its problem; porn without some "sexism" is like eating vegan food... it just won't satisfy. Alt-porn consumers resoundingly agree; Trouble's site has rightfully earned its place close to the bottom of altporn.net's hit rankings by placing ideology over erections. Supposedly, most of the few standing memberships come from Trouble and her posse- many of the models are personal friends with both Trouble and each other, forming an incentous Portland/San Francisco community of uber-fagdom that pays her server bills and helps add to her mound of sex toys. A bit ironic, given so many of the people know each other, the community message board function doesn't even work, and there are no plans to repair it.
As for the actual content's quality, the photos are poorly lit, grainy, and dial-up resolution, while the mere twelve videos are either shot in complete darkness, two minutes long, in 160x120 resolution, or in an oddball format. What else could you expect, given that a woman's taking many of these photos. Unsurprisingly, her photo sets actually look okay; a man probably shot them.
Suicide Girls
People in the Alt-Porn subculture generally like to pretend that SG doesn't exist. Mostly because they are jealous assholes with equally shitty business practices that wish they thought of it first.
There are interviews, reviews and articles that can sometimes really rock. Unfortunately, the same can not be said for the porn itself. It's sad, considering that is supposed to be the selling point for the website.
Since Suicide Girls will hire just about anyone, their whole site is full of fat, greasy haired Weezer fans with infected piercings. Be careful, the goggles do nothing! Only pursue this site if you like sloppy pancake tits and shitty tattoo work.
A more in depth look at their faggotry and escapades can be found in their main article.
SuperCult
Supercult started the beginning of the "Alt-porn" scene, purchasing web space in 2000 and filling it with female friendly hipster photography.
The only model that anyone would recognize is Kat Von D, who is probably kicking herself for appearing on such a cliche example of hipster faggotry. There are "scene" models that only those in the Alt-Porn culture would recognize, but in terms of the scene they aren't very prestigious, liked or known.
Less popular than the punk rock and gothic varieties because no one can stand these fixed gear riding scenefag assholes.
No one really cares about SuperCult, who models for them or anything else. They are the redheaded stepchild of the Alt-Porn scene. They could disappear tomorrow and the scene wouldn't know it.
Notable Cocks and Cunts
Anna Louge
Haha, get it? Anna Louge? Analog? Hahahaha... oh fuck you, you uneducated swine.
The legitimacy of Anna's nerdiness is debated within the Alt-Porn community. Like most girls have their punk authenticity questioned by the more hardcore (as in, die-hard) Alt critics, Anna's cliche depictions of traditional nerd-dom have attracted fappers and controversy.
She is accepted by the Alt-Porn subculture as one of the fold because of her piercings and tattoos. That and she originally started out with a punk image. After she did a Dungeons and Dragons set the rest was, as they say, history.
When confronted for lulz she has been known to totally ignore people or, if you catch her on a bad day, she will reverse troll the shit out of you.
She hasn't claimed to have Asperger's syndrome yet, but given the intensity of her involvement in being a nerd, she just might.
Apnea
Former Suicide Girl and former pedo-bait (she married her ex-husband Philip, who was nearly twice her age, when she just turned 18 after having dated him "a few" years prior) Apnea has made a name for herself by sticking her fingers in her butt hole and pretending to lick other women's pussies.
Apnea has a legion of fan tards dedicated to protecting her honor. What honor, you may ask? They perceive her as some sort of saint and martyr for the Alt-Porn subculture since she and her husband both tried to illegally fuck Suicide Girls over.
Telling them she's a whore who is using them will only garner lulz and perhaps a boner.
Allegedly, her husband left her after he found out she let Raquel Reed's then-boyfriend Jimi Turco cum in her. This is probably false because everyone knows what huge sluts the both of them are, so he was probably just jealous she was getting moar cock than he was.
She tries to write off her "modeling" as shitty art instead of shitty porn. Only her fans believe her, but regardless everyone who likes chicks with no tits who look like 13 year old boys fap.
Photography on her website is either over processed or just plain lame due to the lack of actual tits and actual sex. It's probably fapped over by art school drop outs and other clueless models who want to be "just as famous".
It should be noted that Apnea and Lithium Picnics fame came from going back on their contracts they signed from Suicide Girls, not any actual talent.
Baby Sinead
Baby Sinead has ridden the drama-llama numerous times (making it cum everytime), most of the time being strictly for the lulz. She is like an Alt-Porn /b/tard. You might love her, you might hate her, you might have never heard of her, but chances are you still fap to her incredibly huge rack.
An admitted former drug addict, she has beat her vice of coke and replaced it with the vices of lulz and cock. And sometimes pussy.
She is a scene whore, self-rigteous and an attention whore. Tell her this and she will kill you with her tits. You will find yourself smothered between the voluptuous flesh bags until you cum yourself to death.
The only thing her tits cannot make us forgive is her elitist attitude towards porn making, and how she thinks it's actually supposed to be art instead of merely fapping material. After a couple of sentences of her ranting you will be screaming at her to get back in the kitchen to make you a sammich.
She used to be friends with Raquel Reed's boyfriend, Jimi Turco, but kicked him to the curb when he refused to dump Raquel. Apparently not dumping Raquel was the last straw after Jimi's drug problem, his failed business attempts, his shallow and egotistical attitude and Sinead having to apparently beat Jimi off her with a stick (Sinead does acknowledge that this isn't because of her awesome titties but because Jimi is a desperate moron). You'd think that a drug problem, being an asshole and moronic tendencies would be enough to dump a friend, but no. His refusal to get rid of his arm candy was the breaking point.
Belladonna
Moar info: Belladonna.
Technically not an Alt-Porn name as she makes most of her money off of the mundane porn, she utilizes a lot of girls from the Alt-Porn subculture in her movies. This is probably because only crack addicts would fuck someone with herpes.
The mainstream porn circuit has pretty much forsaken her due to her demonizing of the industry by means of an interview with Dian Sawyer. Since the kids in Alt-Porn generally don't have a clue about anything before 2004, they don't care how unprofessional it makes them look to employ or be employed by a flaky, schizophrenic attention whore.
Bonnie Rotten
Mostly known for having sex with Max Hardcore in Fuck Puppets 2, then doing everything in her power to suppress the existence of that film, successfully lobbying to have all information pertaining to it removed from the Adult Film Database, the Internet Adult Film Database, and even Wikipedia.
—TOW's vague Declaration of Surrender | ||
When it became apparent even to her that the cat was out of the bag and that it would claw it's way back out (making better time with each escape) whenever she crammed it back in, Rotten dragged Max's liver-spotted ass to the courts, where she BAWWWWWED about how he wasn't supposed to release the scene and essentially date raped her, while presumably ignoring the interviews and public appearances where she expressed excitement about the impending premiere of her debut while gushing about how awesome it is that her first performance was with a legend like Max "Pedos and Puke" Hardcore.
tl;dr a typical story of a woman having sex with a sleaze, later regretting it, and contriving that she is a victim in need of sympathy and reparations. On the bright side, the lawsuit led to the leaking of Rotten's powerword - Alaina Hicks.
Dana DeArmond
Noted Myspace whore. She amassed friends for years, and began acting like a vapid bitch before she'd ever done anything besides stripping in the valley and posting pictures of her ass on her Myspace page.
Her break-through role was as irl CP porn star Traci Lords in a New Wave Hookers remake. These days she's claiming to be the internets girlfriend, and even starred in her own movie called "Dana DeArmond Does the Internet".
After being baptized by the church of alt, she got some tattoos and one very uncomfortable looking piercing. Though why she was actually considered "alt" in the first place despite lacking these seemingly necessary attributes is anyone's guess.
Former Suicide Girls
These girls are either kicked off of Suicide Girls for insubordination or because they refuse to eat Missy's pussy or suck Sean's dick. Figuratively and literally.
This usually doesn't stop models from being attention whores and trying to pursue a carrier in a field that is dependent solely on their hawt nekkid bawds. They usually go on to model for other non-threatening sites such as No Fauxxx or Broken Dollz before moving up to hardcore sites like Burning Angel and Lazer Bunny. Depending on how well they do there, and the extent of their coke habit, they'll either find themselves in the laps of Alt-Porn stardom or they will be appearing on sites like Facial Abuse.
Alternatively, they could continue to forsake the idea that they were doing porn and stick to "legit" modeling. While this still encompasses erotic photography, they usually write it off as art or some other form of not porn. For a long while these girls will keep to themselves on solo sites, posting pics of their tits to get the attention they so desperately need. Some notable members of this faction include:
- Apnea
- Aries
- Vanessa Alexandra
Joanna Angel
Probably the biggest thing wrong with porn and feminism at the same time. Not because she's a feminist doing porn or a pornographer with a "women-positive" image, but because she encourages the thought that women like to be pummeled and slapped around during sex.
She fails to realize that this makes her unappealing to her key demographic of sick fucks. This is because they don't want to see women having a good time and enjoying what's happening to them. They want to see women having the shit fucked out of them, and them screaming and crying for it to stop. You can't raep a woman if she enjoys it, amiright?
She has gone on record saying that she wishes her father had molested her as a child, because she feels that he didn't pay enough attention to her.
Joanna should stop trying to project herself as a hardcore cum-dumpster and realize that she's just an attention whore.
For someone who supposedly has a BA in English, her blog sure has a fuck ton of type-o's and grammatical errors.
Kurt Lockwood
When hes not getting payed to get his dick wet, Kurt is usually running his mouth. He likes to talk up his connections to the D.C. music scene, remind everyone he toured with Dee Dee Ramone, and compares himself to Dirk Diggler. Once he was fired for whining on set about how hard it is to perform a DP, an interesting position for the guy on the bottom to take. He is known for acting tough in public, and drawing attention to himself as much as possible. His latest scheme is to turn into a surprise faggot, after claiming to quit the business 'cause he's gonna be a daddy.
Tapped by the Alt-Porn community because of his totally macho tattoos, he became known for performing with a rare degree of sadism. Women friendly porn would just seem less fuzzy with out all the slapping, choking, and fist swallowing that guys like this bring to the table.
Tommy Pistol
Alias, Aramis Sartorio. His female fanbase first formed after he appeared as the designated cock on Burning Angel. He was promoted as feminist, forward thinking and funny. This is despite appearing in a date-rape video, one depicting him beating the shit out of a girl before fucking her and another where he fucks a barely legal tartlet who skipped a day of high school to be on Burning Angel. Like all other males, he just wants pussy, he doesn't care about "the beauty of the female form" or some other gay bullshit. Where they got off marketing him as funny... well, that's even more confusing and just slightly disturbing.
At this same time he was appearing on the lulzy and fucked up sites owned by Adult Doorway, porn for your average /b/tard in denial. It's what Burning Angel aspired to be, before they pussied out with Joanna. They post some fucked up shit where half the time you wonder if the girls are acting or if they're really being raped. Fears and lulz are usually killed by the fact that a lot of the actresses reprise their roles other Adult Doorway sites.
He went from Burning Angel and Adult Doorway to sign an exclusivity agreement with Naughty America. There he met Gia Paloma and knocked her up. Instead of aborting the living STD festering in her womb, the couple got married and retired from acting in porn. Tommy still directs and Gia... she likes to pretend she's still fappable.
A summary of his scene on Ghetto Gaggers, owned by Adult Doorway:
Traditional Media
Before hipster porn exploded on the Internet, the tattoo set was pussy fapping to the likes of Belladonna. While a few directors like Eon Mckai and Rob Rotten had to do some initial hard work to get their tattooed punked out freaks through the big-tittied-and-blond filter at the major video companies, the door is now wide open and altPorn is now serious business.
Gallery
-
wishin she was Betty Page -
Where it all began. -
Hunter S. Thompson Porn -
The original commercial breakthrough
See also
|
Alt-Porn is part of a series on Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage. |