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Burning Angel

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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The Re-Penetrator
Joanna is in charge? O RLY?

Burning Angel is a crappy punk/goth/emo girl Alt-Porn site with p3rn featuring a variety of skanks, skeezers, cumdumpsters, snaggle-toothed dirty-ass hos and sperm-burping gutter-sluts.

When Burning Angel first started out they claimed it was run by Chummy and Mitch Fontaine, two college buddies looking to make some money and score some ass.

Later they claimed it was started by Chummy, Mitch Fontaine and Joanna Angel, two college buddies with a sincere love for porn and a raging feminist who wanted to change the way the world thought about the female form.

Then they claimed it was run by just Mitch and Joanna, a porn fanatic and a hard-ass punk rocker chick.

Now they just claim it's run by Joanna, a porn starlet hungry for cock and pussy. They stopped trying to claim any sort of feminist affiliation because no one was buying it. This is probably because a good portion of their videos depict the models being choked, spit on, date raped or generally being treated like wimmins who leave the kitchen without asking should be.

Despite the incessant claiming that Joanna is the reigning leader of the Burning Angel empire, her name appears nowhere in web domain registration. It appears nowhere in legal documents. If anything is signed, it is by Mitch. If anything is bought, it is by Mitch. Some of the girls forget that they're supposed to pretend that Joanna is in charge and will refer to Mitch at their boss or imply that it is in fact him pulling the strings around the office. The reality is Joanna is only a face, and does jack-shit other than publicity.

BA likes to claim to be indie, despite riding the traditional media wave on Eon Mckai's back (which Joanna will sometimes stab with snarky comments). This means the road to success was paved by VCA, then they sold out as quickly as possible to Hustler. Joanna frequently works for many other companies, totally killing any indie cred "her" company ever had.

OMG IT's Jessie Lee and her STDS!!

Lets play name the bump.

It all started with the set "First Date". Many members commented on how it made their cock twitch and spit sperm, but a few were unsettled. Since her last spread shot, it seems that Jessie Lee has sprouted peculiar bumps around her vagina and asshole. When ever this is pointed out though, comments and journals are immediately deleted.

When confronted by Baby Sinead about why they would film a chick during an outbreak (and endangering her costar... if he wasn't already festering with disease), Burning Angel insisted that the sluts STD tests came back clean. In the same breath they also commented that STD's were natural and not a big deal.

Also, Jessie Lee is know for being a rude bitch to everyone from devoted fans and even fellow models or "friends" as she thinks she has any.

Now she had yelled at other girls at her whore house of a strip club that happen to actually work with her on burning angel as well. This whole thing was done via twitter like catty middle school sluts trying to get the biggest dick. Just proves Jessie Lee could care less what you think of her as long as she can suck your dick for money and you only finger her herpe vagina. This can all be seen on on her twitter along with all of her other whines for your money for nothing. It appears that Bella Vendetta should be added to the long long list of people that hate that herpe infested whore.

Her main claim to fame is being that whore friend that will fuck anyone that says they are in a band. It has been said when she starts dancing at a new whore house shes walks in and tells all the fellow whores the story of the time she fucked washed up Dave Navarro

Gay Porn

Gay pr0n???

Back in 2003 when BA was trying to find its core demographic of sexual predators and diseased hobos, Mitch Fontaine had decided that his empire of slutty females wasn't enough, so he tried to branch out into the market of slutty twinks. This didn't turn out lucrative enough, so Burning Boys was scrapped and now redirects to Burning Angel.

The only mention of Burning Boys left to be found on the net is a mention on an older, less sucktastic splash page on Burning Angel. Lets see how long it takes Mitch to remove that too.

Horror Porn

Burning Angel has also put out a line of horror-porn inspired by films such as Re-Penetrator and The Xxxorcist.

Instead of being arousing or even entertaining they are boring and awkward. Joanna likes to claim responsibility to for these (there was an R rated box set released entitled "Sick and Twisted Horror of Joanna Angel") but the fact of the matter is they were thought up by Doug Sakmann, a relative no-name sick fuck and possible closet /b/tard.

The Adult Doorway Connection

There seems to have, at one point, been some sort of connection to Adult Doorway, makers of stunning, women friendly websites like Facial Abuse. An unusual amount of girls modeling for BA have appeared on sites from AD. These girls are Nancy (BA, FA at 10 seconds into the preview clip you can see her die inside), Pinky (BA, FA), Slimer (BA, FA), Morgan (BA, FA, SS), Nikki (BA, FA) who really shines here, Kennedy (BA, FA) and Angel Baby (BA, Nasty Little Facials).

There are probably more, but I got tired looking at all the cum and vomit. Former BA "cock jock" Tommy Pistol was also a contract cock for Adultdoorway.

VICE

This pseudo-porn-fetish crap inevitably got the attention of the bearded, one-gear-bicycle riding masturbators at VICE, which did a feature on BA's "Stars" and their sluts, especially Joanna and her BF "Small Hands". Which isn't the only small thing about him. This was done probably because the shitheads at VICE just love this variety of low-grade "porn for tards" kind of crap. They watch it at their desks 20 times a day at least. Can you say "tattoo-saturated hambeasts"?

Members and Models

If you meet any of the models IRL you'll quickly notice a trend in their personalities and occupations. They're all either drug addicts, strippers, whores or just plain stuck up bitches.

Their hobbies include laughing at "Intervention", flaming each other (on and off site), kissing Joanna's ass, stabbing Joanna in the back and being whores 99.9% of the time that they're not on the site.

Of course, if anyone points out what a raging retard Joanna is, she will have her hoard of STD-riddled whores assault the infidel.

Apathy

Although she is an outspoken activist against BA, former model Apathy likes to include photos taken for the site in her portfolio, keeps her stage name as "Apathy Angel" and attends events that the site is hosting. Though her appearances haven't lead to internet drama quite yet, they have lead to VERY uncomfortable situation IRL.

She and former friend Jessie Lee split when Jessie refused to let her dance at a Burning Angel promotional event. Even though she accused the fappable STD riddled Jessie Lee of riding on her coattails, it is blatantly obvious that she is the one doing the stalkerish mooching.

Apathy is like the poor man's Vanessa Alexandra. Her MySpace looks like a scene kid shat on it, and she has no talent or accomplishments to back up her over-inflated ego. Not to mention they resemble each other so much in looks and personality that one must assume that they are in fact the same person.

Brian Street Team

A notable fan tard is Brian Street Team, that believes he has the finesse to fuck anything he wants. The truth of the matter is all the girls he fucks are either retarded 16 year old girls, aspiring porn stars (same difference) or so drunk off their ass it could be considered date rape. For some reason Mitch thought he was a real winner and put him in one of their videos. Now Mitch has to deal with the cocky son of a bitch thinking he deserves to fuck all of his models.

He maintains a blog where he writes the details of his juvenile conquests and propositions. Considering he feels the need to tell the world what a righteous stud he is, one can assume that he suffers from chronic insecurity and is trying to make up for it by chronicling his exploits. It is unconfirmed whether this insecurity and diarrhea of the mouth stems from latent homosexuality.

Cadance

The video Candace <3' Nailhead had started some discussion on Skinheads.net. Apparently the members believe that the couple are skinheads or neo-nazi's or /b/tards or something. Candace has actually confirmed that she is a member of SHARP (Skin Heads Against Racism), and is contemplating stomping Sakura, another BA model with a swastika tattoo.

Cadance, along with most of the girls, has a raging boner of hate for Jessie Lee.

Daphne

Daphne is a big boobed hottie who only wants to be associated with Burning Angel when convenient for her (ie. when she did a TV show for VICE). She actually tried to pay to get her pictures off the site.

She spent some time dating Igor (from drivenbyboredom.com), unaware of the 8 different Burning Angel girls he was fucking at the time.

Draven

Draven is one of the new popular whores on the site. Shes getting lots of attention for her scenster looking ways. Dont be fooled, just another slut. Misti Dawn and her often make gay youtube videos and fuck random dudes in hotels while Joanna drags them around feature dancing.


James Deen

Seperated at birth?

Joanna's boyfriend, who she started dating when he was 18. It first started off as a creepy stalker thing--Joanna being the stalker. She wrote romanticized blog entries about him that originally really pissed him off. But the creepy stalker angle apparently worked for her, as they've been in a relationship for the past three years.

He is uninked and unpierced, and became a stunt cock for BA after he stuck his in Joanna.

A series of rape and assault allegations spearheaded by Stoya (a drug-addicted harpy, and one of Deen's exes) outed Deen as a typical Chad who can't fathom a woman refusing him, and not allowing him to do whatever the fuck he wants, to the point of becoming agitated and manic when a bitch is belligerent and not submissive enough.

Jessie Lee

No wonder she has STDs.

One of the companies promotional whores (she will fuck people--outside of porn--to promote the company) Jessie has kissed ass to the top of Burning Angel. This is like kissing ass to the top of your local whore house, so it's not as impressive as you think.

Aside from publicly showing the world her STDs, she is notable for acting like she's better than the other five dollar whores that make up the models of BA. While other models are censored for hating on Jessie Lee, Jessie Lee is rarely censored for making spiteful and insidious remarks at her costars that won't lick her pussy in admiration.

Jessie Lee would probably be better suited for Suicide Girls, as her appeal comes mostly from the drama she creates and how many people she is willing to fuck. Wait... maybe she's suited for BA after all.

Madison Mitchell

She is like an acne ridden 16-year-old girl on crack and more often than not an emotional firestorm. As the resident /b/tard of Burning Angel she will post things to upset the admins for the lulz. She will fuck things for the lulz. Actually she'll fuck things because she's a straight whore If you ever thought a "porn star" didn't have to be a slut, Madison proves otherwise. She whines and cries on her blog about her "terrible life" but this bitch is known for coming from a "well to do" family, and always had everything she wanted. Failed out of college, leaches off anyone who lets her, uses anyone who comes in her life. Is more like a fat, acne faced Baby Sinead, but add shitty tattoos and saggy tits. I guess once you get fired from job after job for being a lazy bitch, the only thing left to do is porn.

Misti Dawn

Misti is a dumb red neck from the back woods of Alabama or Kentucky or some other insect retard place. She prides her self on being nice to everyone and although she is, shes still a whore just like the rest. It's been said that Burning Angel is making her a solo site [1] obviously because shes a little cum dumpster than will do anything they say. When meeting her you can hear the IQ of an inbred 12 year old come out.

To celebrate her new solo site, she threw a party at her favorite bar in Southern Indiana and invited several bands, a local rapper to DJ in between sets and some of her Burning Angel fellow suckfish. Oh, and Joanna. Lest we not forget.

Two bands, a DJ, and FIVE goddamn honest-to-God porn stars. Who showed up to enjoy this event? Fucking nobody, that's who! Nobody gave a shit. The sluts showed up an hour-and-a-half late to their own party, did a few stripteases (keeping their underwear on, big granny panties and all) and generally avoided talking to the few people who had came to see them.

Here's the fun thing about Misti's solo site. Since it is operated by BA, they will reap the lion's share of profits (such as they are) without having to cover any of her work expenses (for example, photo shoots). Most of the reward and little risk for BA. I can only imagine the same goes for any of the other horses in the Burning Angel glue factory who aspire to have their own site.

Meanwhile, this coke-thinned sap has traded in her hometown boyfriend for some porn cock and will probably go bareback with Brazilian shemales in a dumpster filled with blood when Mitch and Joanna finally give the order.

Morgan Mae

Morgan joined the site when she was 18 and a senior in high school. Since she was legal and no longer sweet, sweet loli it wouldn't have been such a big deal. Except that BA used her to attract pedos to the site with promises of virginal untapped ass and generally made a big to-do about her still being in high school. Morgan looked, talked and acted very much like a dumb kid in her first video (as well as during her appearances on Sperm Suckers and Facial Abuse). Oddly enough, this wasn't her attempt at acting. She really was that naive and moronic.

On her blog FA and SS fans sometimes stop by to call her a whore, "piggy" and other nicknames she was called on the sites. She generally gets pretty outraged and denies that she is either. While she isn't a raging ham-beast she is still on the chubby side and she still qualifies as a whore because even though it's being filmed she is still having sex for money.

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