User:MisterRemover/Sandbox
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Christian Dornier article
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| Christian Dornier | |
| Nationality: | Snail-muncher 
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| High Score | Killed 14, injured 8 |
| Top 50 | No, 5th Notable Loser |
| Style | Single player |
| An Hero? | V& for batshit insanity |
On July 12th, 1989, in some small village in the middle of fucking nowhere called Luxiol in France, some batshit insane emo farmer would embark on a mass shooting, and fueled by his schizophrenia, he took the High Score from 
some random oldfag who went on a rampage 4 years earlier.
Biography
Christian Louis Gérard Marie Dornier was born in 1958 after being shat out by his mother after a binging on cheap wine, as French people do. He also had two other siblings, Corinne and Serge. He was described as someone that liked to read and work in the forest, presumably so he could fap to the local wildlife. Later on in life, he joined the Army, where he polished baguettes for a year before leaving. It is said that his time in the Army might have affected him and accelerated his schizophrenia, but this could all just be explained by him being an autistic loner who couldn't handle a little civil service.
A year and a half before Chris went Full Batshit, his dad retired and decided to hand the farm over to him. He tried to take a month-long agricultural course, but dropped out after ONE FUCKING WEEK, coming home apparently feeling "broken". He started shaving his head, smoking, abandoning his farm work and eventually became violent. After seeing such shamefur dispray from his son, his dad decided to not hand over the farm, but to cheer his emo ass up, he decided to buy him a car so he could leave the farm whenever he wanted to.
Fast forward to a few months, and Chris has progressed from just being an emo faggot in his early 30s, to an emo faggot in his early 30s... with RAEG, shooting at his dad and some random neighbor, and threw stones at some whore. All of these incidents were brought up at the village council, but they couldn't do shit because he technically didn't have any trouble with the law. Eventually, his family had enough of his emofaggotry and decided to hook him up on tranquilizers and hid his guns. Unfortunately for them, Christian didn't take the tranquilizers and also reunited with his beloved shotgun. No one knows how a schizophrenic got their hands on a gun, but regardless, all this did was set the stage for something to come
And on a more lulzy note, 4 days before he snapped, Christian apparently had a nervous breakdown and couldn't attend his sister's wedding, opting to drive around town instead.
Loadout
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| Item | Accessories/Bonus |
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Shooting
NOBODY SET ANYTHING, LAZY FAGGOTS
Graded Score
| Kill count: | 14/20 Pretty good for a shotgun user |
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| Accuracy: | 12/20 PROTIP: LRN2 AIM |
| Style: | 18/20 Killed his family and played GTA IRL |
| Butthurt: | 10/20 Minor butthurt in France |
| Bonus: | 16/20 Got away with it |
Wanted Level:
S.W.A.T. Team
See Also
- Eric Borel - Current French champion
- France - Where shit went down
- Schizophrenic - duh
Howard Unruh article
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The FBI has offices around the world and can be contacted around the clock, every day of the year. |
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| Howard Unruh | |
| Nationality: | Americunt 
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| High Score | Killed 13, injured 3 |
| Top 50? | 9th Notable Loser |
| Style | Walk of Death |
| An Hero? | No - Surrendered |
| Status? | FOUND NOT GUILTY BY REASON OF INSANITY |