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Cindy Crosby
Topics of a similar nature can be found at Hockey.
21 year old Stanley Cup Champion.
—Some fag on stonerock.com |
Sidney Crosby Cindy Crosby, originally a Canadian hockey player for the Pittsburgh Penguins (moar like Shitsburgh, amirite?), is a meme on 4chan's /sp/ board. Loved by fairweather faggots CapitalistBastard only, who considers him the the greatest hockey player who ever lived, and pretty much hated by everyone else (especially Philly fags). Also, Cindy is incapable of growing a proper Playoff Beard, instead growing a prepubescent patch-beard not unlike a 13 year old boy.
While known by the media faggots on ESPN and TSN as the next Wayne Gretzky, most /sp/artans call out Cindy for his love of diving to embellish a penalty on the opposing team, therefore cementing his reputation on /sp/ as a perpetually butthurt crybaby. He always cries to the refs because the opposing defense wouldn't let him score a goal. Cindy feels he is entitled to a high point total, therefore whenever a real hockey player gives him a little love tap, he cries. If he gets too butthurt, he morphs into his final form and starts a fight. But rather than punching like a real man, he usually just grabs their shirt and shakes them like a pissed off little 10 year old.
Cindy and his merry band of faggots made it to the Stanley Cup Finals in 2008, facing the Detroit Red Wings. However, they were soundly defeated. Many in /sp/ see this as Epic Fail (although not as Epic Fail as 18-1).
The Pittsburgh Penguins miraculously managed to defeat the Detroit Red Wings in the 2009 Stanley Cup Finals. Cindy however, dove in the second period of game 7 and miraculously returned at the very end of the game to claim all the glory for himself. This is seen as Epic Fail on the Red Wings' part, as they blew a 2-0 lead to lose in game seven. Marian Hossa cried like a 16 year old girl, and the Red Wings felt extreme butthurt as they watched Cindy and Mario Lemieux engage in unspeakable acts.
Sidney is often debated to be the best player in the NHL along with Alexander Ovechkin, as Ovechkin is statistically the number one player in the league. However, it is worth noting that, although most consider Obitchkin to be the better of the two, Crosby has won a Cup and a Gold Medal whereas Ovechkin has accomplished two league MVPs, an outstanding player award, and was captain of the Capitals as they became the number one team in the NHL. The Hockey watching public seldom care about fancy post season awards, so without any solid public recognition these critical feats mean absolutely nothing; it is also worth noting that Crosby and company defeated Ovechkin on his way to both victories.
Facts About Cindy Crosby
- Cindy is the NHL's only open homosexual.
- Cindy has an overdeveloped wrist shot.
- Is currently the
secretgay lover of Mario Lemieux. - Is cheating on Mario with Marc-Andre Fleury.
- Hobbies include diving, snorkeling, spelunking, and buttsex.
- Believes the goatse is "a good start."
- Got paid over 9000 million dollars to be the official fag for Reebok.
- Is always the bottom.
- Despite being a butthurt crybaby diving faggot, he surely
makes more moneywill suck more cock than you'll ever hope to see in your lifetime. And that's fucking sad if you like it in the poop chute. - Is known to wear Crocs on a daily basis.
Cindypasta
Crosby Bel Air
Paintball
Hi. I am sitting in the stands watching the Pittsburgh Penguins. I was cheering my hardest. Sidney had a breakaway with 5 SECONDS TO GO. 5, 4, 3, 2, ON THE LAST SECOND HE SHOT, HE SCORES! "PITTSBURGH PENGUIN WIN!" "There going to the championships." Then Sidney came up to the microphone and said,. "I WOULD LIKE TO THANK SEAN FOR CHEERING SO HARD AND HELPING ME SCORE THAT WINNING GOAL." "What?" "How did you notice?" I questioned I WAS WALKING DOWN THE STAIRS . EVERYBODY WAS CHEERING ME ON. now I know how it feels to be cheered on. I walked up to him and hollered, "hi." "Do you like to play paintball." I asked. Sidney said, "sure," sidney asked, "you want to go play." I said, "sure." Then I learned how to play paintball much better
As told by a 13 year old girl
After Sid left me in our parking lot, he reappeared at my door three long freaking days later. "I'm sorry I'm an ass. I shouldn't have pressured you like that. You tell me whatever you want when you're ready, when you're want to. In the meantime, my feelings haven't changed. I love that I can say it. It's kind of a relief. I love you Anna."
He was playing again and I was about to head home for Easter. We were out to dinner one night way out of town and were on our way home. We'd had a really nice time but I had something I had to tell him. It was taking over my head and I needed to let it out.
"Sid. Stop the car." "What?" He said, looking over at me.
"Stop the car. Please." I was being utterly ridiculous, I knew that. He drove a little further and pulled into our parking lot. I got out and paced. "Anna? Are you sick? What the hell?"
"No." I stomped over to him, and linked his fingers in mine. "Sick in the head, maybe. But I just - have to tell you right now or I'll explode. Sid, I'm in love with you. I'm sorry it's taken more than a month to realize it but I was just scared. Of the immeasurable depths of what I feel for you. I've never felt like this for a guy before and it scared the shit out of me. I love you." I don't know why I repeated it. I really do believe I'm going crazy.\
He grinned down at me, taking my breath away in the process, and swept me into his arms, lifting me off my feet.
"You sweep me off my feet," I said, giggling. I don't care how lame it sounds, I've never felt so happy in my entire life.
He kissed me fervently. "I love you," he said, "But you are so damn dramatic." He slapped my butt playfully.
I laughed, "I don't plan this you know."
He shook his head at me and carried me back to his silver Range Rover. He laid me down on the backseat and pushed up against me as he tore at my clothes. He unbuttoned my blouse, kissing each plot of skin that he was freeing, as he did so. I ran my hands through those dark curls and once my blouse fell open, he crushed his mouth to mine as I fell over on top of him, throwing off my blouse onto the floor. His mouth moved downwards, downwards,downwards as he unsnapped my pants and hooked his thumbs through my thong, pulling it down. I undressed him then, and right there in our parking lot, in the backseat of his Range Rover, Sid and I made the most beautiful, sweaty, loud poetry together.
Sorry Shakespeare.
Great Feats of Leadership and Bravery
Its Only Fitting
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Its only fitting
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Its only fitting
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Its only fitting
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Its only fitting
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Its only fitting
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Its only fitting
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Its only fitting
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Its only fitting
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Its only fitting
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Its only fitting
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Its only fitting
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Its only fitting
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Its only fitting
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Its only fitting
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Its only fitting
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Its only fitting
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Its only fitting
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Its only fitting
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It only fits
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They only fit
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Its only fitting
See also
Cindy Crosby is part of a series on the ED Special Olympics |
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