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MLB.tv

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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MLB.tv
Provides Streaming Live  Baseball
Cost $20.00 per month from April to October
Location U.S.A.
Claim to lulz Inaction on Complaints, Malaise, Ineptitude, Ignoring everybody all the time.
Weapons of Choice Forum software with lock and delete buttons. Inferior product
Website MLB media center
Careful there buddy...talk like this can get you banned!

Hundreds of thousands of baseball fans sign up for MLB.tv each year, vainly hoping that they can log on and watch out of market high definition baseball games on their laptops and home PCs. Each of them shells out twenty bucks each month of the MLB season for the premium service offered by Major League Baseball and then they log on to see the best possible picture they can on their equipment. Before they can watch the high definition live streams, they have to download and install a program called the NexDef plug-in and then allow the program to run in the background. It's a very simple process and should take approximately five minutes to complete, too bad the plug-in is absolute shit and never works. What makes matters worse is MLB.tv doesn't care.

How to Complain to MLB.tv

The MLB.tv forum is absolutely full of complaints about the quality of the streams for the baseball games they show. If it isn't a problem with the picture, lagging streams, jittery programming, or freezing, then it is probably a problem with the NexDef plug-in. Since MLB doesn’t really care, they tend to ignore most complaints, but the particularly angry and vehement posts on their forum are out and out deleted.

Example

<video type="youtube" id="H2UdDsgB22s" width="300" height="200" desc="This is how most users react to MLB.tv's support." frame="true" position="right"/> Hey guys,

my High Def and my DVR functionality isn’t working on my MLB.tv player. Is there a problem with the stream or something? I am using windows vista home edition on with the service pack 1 upgrade installed. My system is an AMD 64 X2 Dual Core Processor 4000+ 2.10 GHz and I have 4 GB of ram. I just upgraded Firefox to the 3.5 version and I turn off any firewalls or script protections while I am on the MLB.tv site so that nothing is hampering the stream. I have my flash player up to date and I have just installed the newest version of Windows media player so it isn’t a problem. Also, when I checked my bandwidth on your on-site bandwidth checker, it said that I had a score of 5400 which is well above the 3000 that your stream requires to run the full HD package. I have the current NexDef plug-in installed, so why isn’t my premium service working? I have had the service since spring training and I have yet to see a game in HD, nor have I been able to use the DVR functions that you advertise on the upgrade.

Please help!

A concerned paying customer

Typical Answers

High Definition Programing right on your PC or Mac!
Derek Jeter on MLB.tv
A screencap of the MLB.tv support forum. The locked topics are highlighted.
   
 
MLB didn't respond to requests for comment.
 

 
 

—On any issue ever.

The MLBsupport team does absolutely nothing when they get a forum post like the one above. They often beat around the bush in an attempt to stall the complaints long enough for a week to pass by and they can either delete the complaint or lock it so that nobody else can agree with an original grievance.

Here are some of their typical responses to a forum post asking for help. Note that they also completely ignore the original post when it comes to system specs, OS, or any other programs running that support the MLB.tv player.

You just know their site administrators are just giggling their asses off when they type out:

  • Switch to IE
  • Switch to Firefox
  • Switch to Chrome
  • Switch to Opera
  • Upgrade IE
  • Upgrade Firefox
  • Upgrade your Flash player
  • Upgrade your Windows media player
  • Upgrade your computer (after quietly changing the system requirements)
  • Turn off your firewall or script protection
  • Install a newer version of the NexDef player
  • Uninstall IE and then re-install IE
  • Jump through flaming hoops

After you use the next ten posts explaining to MLBsupport that you have done all of these things, they will then tell you to go to the NexDef vendor and complain to them.

NexDef

NexDef eliminates long buffering and load times...because it doesn't work at all.
   
 
Fix ticket is in the pipeline; this is a big one and will require a couple of weeks
 

 
 

—An April Posting concerning a NexDef fix…it is now October.

According to its manufacturer, NexDef is a plug-in for MLB.tv subscribers that manages bandwidth allocation and offers DVR functionality for those who use it to view MLB content from MLB.tv. What NexDef really is, is a gigantic piece of stinking, smoky shit that has never worked correctly for the people who pay to use it. Any complaints about the service are ignored outright. Persistent complaints are told to go and check with the NexDef manufacturer.

   
 
Look, I don’t want to go to some third party site to complain about a product that YOU foisted on us. Fix our streams or start pro-rating our monthly charges.
 

 
 

—This guy is at the end of his rope.

NexDef is shat out by a company called AutoBahn, who claims that using their products will increase the quality of all video used on your machine. They state that their plug-ins will reduce chop, stutter, and increase your picture quality so much, you will just want to hug them to death. See, they are a nice company…and look, they don’t even code in malware with their plug-ins! So they are a nice bunch of guys. Never mind the fact that the only people to download and use their products are the suckers at MLB.tv, who already have all their information stored on the MLB servers...names, addresses, contact telephone numbers, and credit card numbers. It's not like they have to install malware or spyware anyways.

LOL New User Here

This poor sucker doesn't know what he is in for, nor does he fathom the complicated and agonizing journey he is about to embark upon...however, he has the presence of mind to at least ask about it.

I just subscribed last night so I could watch Phillies games from home in Connecticut. I downloaded
everything, including this NexDef thing. I made sure all my software was the latest versions. I
bought the Premium package. But whenever I try to watch a game, either live or archived, it's all
choppy, broken up or completely freezes. I disabled my firewall and popup and ad blockers, which I
hate doing, and still the problem remains. So I called "tech support". After a twenty minute wait
(last time I called Microsoft I didn't have to wait that long) I got someone who I could hardly
understand. But after some time on the phone with her, she decided I had to disable NexDef, which I 
did, and now I seem to get a smooth video stream, but nowhere near hi-def, which is one of the
reasons I spend $70 for this "service". When I asked her why I had to disable NexDef, she told me
MLB is having problems with it, knows about it, and is trying to fix it. What's the story? Why does
 MLB sell a hi-def package that doesn't work. By the way, I have a cable hookup and during the
problems, my speed was 10000+ More than three times the minimum required.

Heed this advice! Quickly! There is no time to waste!

NexDef, NoScript, Firefox 3.5

When you have this many issues, it's pretty sad that a USER has to figure out a fix for one of your dumbshit problems.
   
 
Thank you to both Ram Man and humbb for doing what mlbsupport apparently cannot do. The work is appreciated as these two options fixed the problem in a matter of minutes. Maybe mlb should hire you two to run support as your ideas actually work.
 

 
 

Mozilla has recently upgraded the Firefox browser to the 3.5 version causing NexDef to freak out and stop working once again. This freak out, along with normally shitty way the plug-in works, caused the DVR and HD functionality to cease working on ANY of the games played. Even if you had the NexDef plug-in, had purchased the HD package, and everything worked fine, you still couldn't watch a baseball game on the shitty player.

During this crisis situation, where paying customers could not access the product they had been promised, MLBsupport only offered token help as usual. An enterprising and bright user came up with a workaround that allowed the HD and DVR functionality to resume, but MLBsupport's only reply was "thanks," causing many members to question why MLBsupport guys couldn't figure this stuff out on their own. After a few posts, MLBsupport quickly jumped on with a sockpuppet account and told everybody that it was NoScript's fault:

I like the part where NoScript tells people MLBsupport is a dumbass.
   
 
Just to confirm this is a noscript issue, not Firefox.I am using Firefox 3.011 still ,but the latest Noscript, and mlbtv refuses to accept I have nexdef installed. Using Chrome (which works fine) until I get time to fix the noscript settings.
 

 
 

—Only a dipshit would use Chrome ever.

The NoScript guys were quick to point out that the workaround and fix also left the browser in a less than secure state...something that NoScript users want. They also went on to state that they didn't know what the fuck the MLBsupport idiots were talking about, the issue was an easy fix and had nothing to do with NoScript itself. They then offered a real fix to use instead of the bullshit answer that MLBsupport had adopted.

MLB Support Sockpuppet

Cool story bro.
   
 
I bet their billing system works fucking great...
 

 
 

—Yet another happy customer.

During all of the NexDef controversy, some MLB Support sockpuppet showed up on the forum to offer this little nugget of widsom:

   
 
Do any of you really believe MLBAM are not trying to fix things? That they don't want it to work? What, are you stupid? Did it ever occur to you that what they are doing is hard? Technically and politically (rights-wise)?
 

 
 

—Obviously this guy is dumb, rich, or getting the service free...or all three.

Other members of the forum were outraged that some asshole would show up to post this sort of crap when they were discussing a PAY SERVICE that they weren't receiving, despite the fact that MLB.tv was still billing them.

   
 
thanks for your life story. we just want the service we paid for. you can go through life being screwed up the ASS by big wigs and not say anything about it, we prefer not to.
 

 
 

—The other guy must be a fucking commie!

   
 
Cool story bro.
 

 
 

—MLB.tv when asked for comment...or help...or a refund.

Getting Banned for Faggotry

MLB.tv support superheroes do not like it when they are constantly told that their product sucks, but if you tell all the other users that their product sucks on their own forum, they rageban you and then they think they are smug...however any idiot with google, foxyproxy, or TOR can get around their stupid ban and spam the boards again.

Complaint Play-By-Play


◀PREVIOUS SCREENCAP / NEXT SCREENCAP▶


Bait and Switch

Gee, just what I always wanted to do: LISTEN to the bench clearing brawl after the PINETAR incident.

MLB.tv advertises a slew of features that includes an archive of old games that you can watch. The library has games that go back as far as the 1940s and since most of the games are important, like a World Series, you would figure that you should be able to go and watch some of these nostalgic old matches between some of the all time greats. Not so, for more than 70% of the "Oldies games" you get a link to a shitty AUDIO player and you get to LISTEN to the games that were advertised as viewable. Yet another rip off that MLB.tv pulls on its unsuspecting subscribers: you don't know what you are gonna get before they already have your money!

MLB.tv also offers what they call "Gameday Premium" which is a service that will give you a animated play-by-play of the game you choose to watch. It must be stressed that there is NO STREAMING VIDEO OF THE GAME AT ALL. All this Gameday Premium service is, is a FLASH ANIMATION showing some crudely drawn pitcher throwing a baseball at you accompanied by a radio broadcast of the game that sounds like it is being announced from a stadium booth in Alaska.

Blackout Games and Dates

<video type="youtube" id="sSPw_9GX9HI" width="300" height="200" desc="You are better off watching Japanese baseball off of YouTube." frame="true" position="right"/>

See all that green? Those poor fuckers get stuck with the Mariners all season long.
   
 
Major League Baseball's TV blackout rules are so dizzyingly complex as to make a tax attorney weep, and the imposition of blackouts is so maddeningly widespread as to make legions of fans scream.
 

 
 

—ESPN's opinion on the subject.

Because of some arcane and out dated rules involving a map drawn out in the 1970s and several people crying about money, there is a blackout exemption for all areas of the United States when it comes to availability of baseball games. A blackout rule should be pretty simple: If a game is in your market area and somebody has the right to that game, you should only be able to watch that game on their network. But in modern reality, where there are several hundred television channels, this simple rule turns into a nightmare. Add an online service like MLB.tv to the mixture and that nightmare turns into something akin to prison rape with a forklift.

Scenario:

You live in the metropolitan area near Pittsburgh but you are a Philadelphia Phillies fan. You wish to watch your beloved Phillies play the New York Mets in regular season play, but because you live within both teams blackout areas (Pittsburgh wtf?), the game is blacked out to all media outlets except the Phillies flagship or contracted station. Oh wait, you live in Pittsburgh...and your cable provider doesn't carry the Philadelphia channel. No worries, in this modern day and age you can just sign up and pay for the MLB.tv service and watch the game right? Wrong. The MLB.tv player geo-locates you through your ISP and locks you out of the game just like television does. No amount of pleading, proxies, or cussing is going to get you that game. Never fear though, 90 minutes after the game is over, you can go and find it in the MLB.tv archives and watch the game then...if they choose to update the archive that day.

Sometimes on Encyclopedia Dramatica, people will exaggerate facts or certain portions of the story to create an increased "lulz factor" for their article. While I have been guilty of doing this several thousand times, I assure you that there is no exaggeration whatsoever within this portion of the article. It is true; MLB uses a map akin to daylight savings time maps to block their content from their paying customers. They cite contracts and copyright agreements that were put into place as far back as the 1950s, and they manipulate these rules as they see fit. Most of the time, blackout games are just a minor inconvenience to fans of professional sports like soccer, basketball, and football because they keep their contractual agreements up to date and have far fewer games than MLB does. In the case of MLB.tv, people in Ohio, Illinois, Missouri, Pennsylvania, New York, Florida, California, and Washington can go whole seasons without seeing a single game played by a team in their area.

MLB.tv Downloads

When you sign up for the MLB.tv service this also allows you go and download podcasts and important games from iTunes at a substantial fee. That's right, you can pay for a service to go pay somebody else for that service.

Video


I hate the new MLB player.


It doesn't matter what operating system I am on.

See Also

External Links

MLB.tv is part of a series on

Television

Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage.

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