- Portals
- The Current Year
- ED in the News
- Admins
- Help ED Rebuild
- Archive
- ED Bookmarklet
- Donate Bitcoin
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
Neon Genesis Evangelion
Commonly refered to as Neon Genesis Evangelion, Evangelion, Eva, "Ee-Van-Jelly-Un", "Evangel Lion", or sometimes What the fuck did I just watch? The show is about an emo kid and named Shinji Ikari who is under the care of a drunken whore, Misato Katsuragi. Along the way, he meets an emotionless loli named Rei, and a Nazi loli named Asuka. These two have become legendary fap interests for virgin otaku the world over.
Plot (if there is one...)
Constant themes deal with him subconsciously wanting to fuck the shit out of his dead mom, his problems having a vital life affirming relationship with his father who is too busy fucking the underage clone of Shinji's dead mom to notice him, and his having to pilot an alien/robot life form (that's secretly his dead mom in disguise) in order to attempt to defeat nearly invincible, huge alien life forms (who are actually biblical angels) who are hellbent on awakening the final angel Lilith (who is Adam's slut on the side) so she can turn the planet's inhabitants into a huge ball of cherry Kool Aide for no readily apparent reason. WTF?
In Japanese, "Shinji" means "whiny Oedipus-complex bitch boy". Also the word "plot" doesn't mean anything in Japanese and hence this show just defined anime for the next generation. The highlight of Shinji's career as a pilot was fapping to an unconscious Nazi loli NOT LOLI YOU FAILED ABORTION (which actually does happen during the first 10 minutes of the second film). Later, while still unconscious, Earth's defenses send her out to fight the giant alien whatevers and she gets eaten alive because Shinji was too busy curling up in a corner and BAWWWing. The show is also about a penguin who lives in a refrigerator and a blue haired dick named Rei Ayanami, who is a clone of his dead mom. Kinda like Star Wars really, except everything that goes unexplained just turns up to be Shinji's mom.
Evangelion is notable for having over 9,000 final episodes, not to mention the 2 new movies recently released with alternate, alternating endings after the three movies already released. The show was created by some 1337 azn who was put into a mental hospital because he would slam the door on his dick. Every fangirl and fanboy just hate him because of the shit endings he keeps on throwing at them like a monkey would throw scat in a zoo. One day, last Thursday, he heard the doctors talking about Latin/Greek medical terms and freudspeak. The bat shit insane director thought it was "deep" and "philosophical" so he added some shallow references to Jesus and agnosticism and he came up with this shit. He is also responsible for crucifying the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man. See Xenoshit if you would like the copied yet makes more sense version of this non sequential bullshit.
By the end of the series, Shinji is so emo that he single-handedly causes his clonemom Rei to rape the world, causing every person on it to turn into orange tang. Good going. Also the movie End of Evangelion should be noted for having the biggest pair of tits that you will ever find anywhere. It should also be noted that in the last episode, we find out that Shinji's dad is, in fact, Shinji's mom. Go figure. Cheer up, emo Shinji.
Horrible Spinoffs
Since the targeted audience of angsty teenage males was reached by the show, spin offs of the series were produced in game and manga form and sold for high prices. In one of the games though, Shinji stops being a pussy and gets laid. Too bad his first time is with the gay character. So in a sense, you COULD say Shinji IS being the pussy, since Kaworu most likely was the Butch in this relationship, giving him total pwnership of Shinji's mangina.
Dealing with Evangelion fantards
Evangelion is extremely popular with useless nerds who think that throwing random Christ imagery and flashing random Japanese text on the screen in a cartoon about giant robots is deep and meaningful and who think that it is perfectly acceptable for a director to get 50 hours of screentime and still not be able to tell a story. The best way to troll Evangelion fans is to refuse to see the movie. This makes them butthurt.
Rebuild: The Return of the Emos
OMG, It's Back?!! You thought the raving fantards had finnaly dropped the show after 12 years. You thought a was finally done discussing how "DEEP" Evangelion was. You were wrong! Apparently, Hideaki Anno has decided to bless us with another mind-raping mecha anime staring emo traps. And this time, it's gonna be in the form of 4 feature-length movies. The series is called "Evangelion: Rebuild" and it's an attempt by Hideaki Anno to milk this cow for all it's worth. So far, the first movie has come to America on DVD, and the second movie has aired in Japanese theaters. Apparently, the second movie introduces an new character named, "Mari" and alters the original plot near the end. This has caused many oldfags to RAGE, but some normal people hope this means the finale won't be a total mind-fuck this time.
Amazingly, this series turns out to actually be pretty good. Anno seems to have realised that nobody wants to see a show about emo faggots constantly bitching and have instead turned it into a series about people in robots who get shit done.
YouTube Gallery
Previous Video | Next Video |
Evangelion Photo Gallery
-
Misato likes 'em young. -
Yes it does. It sooo does. -
You're boning your mom in the wrong hole Shinji. -
Special sexual techniques for fans to emulate.
-
The truth. -
Rape. -
Rei models official NERV underwear. -
Orgy action. -
Oh my boobs are so big, and round. -
Asuka begs the viewer to ravish her. -
Oh my rule 34. -
Lol what? (in the background dipshit) -
Enough rule 34 yet? -
Never!!1 -
-
Angel Attack. -
DO IT FAGOT! -
Only on eBay. -
Service! Service! -
Only furries watch Evangelion. -
Huge hips are huge. -
SHINJI'S MOM -
HAS GOT IT -
GOIN -
ON -
Congratulations, Shinji. -
Congratulations, Shinji.
-
-
ehh..disturbing... -
Gendo ponders why his world is so damn confusing. -
Asuka echoes the thoughts of anyone watching Evangelion.
-
This is what Eva fans looked like after hearing about Asuka's name change.
See also
- Anime
- Gendo Pose - The only good thing to come out of that series.
- Gurren Lagann - Pure.Nonsensical.Nonsense....with drildos..
External links
|
Neon Genesis Evangelion is part of a series on Visit the Memes Portal for complete coverage. |
|
Neon Genesis Evangelion is part of a series on Visit the Anime Portal for complete coverage. |