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Netflix

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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People get pissed because their tentacle rape hentai doesn't show up quick enough.
Even Netflix gets lulzy.

Netflix was a service that allowed people to rent an unlimited amount of porn for a flat rate per month. The problem was that there were 16 year old girls who used the service for their Disney movies, and Netflix ditched the porn in favor of family-friendly fare.

Their slogan is simple: "We're Not Blockbuster." This creates rousing cheers from Netflix's loyal customer base, but pisses off Blockbuster's Republican investors. Since 2007, Netflix has successfully raped the shit out of Blockbuster with its success. A large part of this is due to the offering of Netflix on game consoles and new media devices.

Last Thursday, Netflix took over Wal-Mart's DVD-by-mail distribution system. This upset liberals who think that Wal-Mart is a slavery ring designed to take down the Communist system once and for all.

Drama-By-Mail

You'd think an innocent DVD-by-mail scheme would be drama-free, but there must always be fucktarded types who find some reason to bitch.

In Netflix's case, a small minority of tinfoil hat-wearing conspiracy theorists believe that Netflix is fucking them in the ass. When they put a DVD in the mail, they expect Netflix to receive it the next day and ship a new installment of Debbie Does Dallas the day after. Since the post office couldn't possibly make a mistake or act slowly with the bulk mailings, Netflix must be "throttling" their accounts and not checking in the DVDs when they're received; thus, they only get 40 DVDs a month instead of the 126434 that are mathematically possible.

Of course, this gross injustice doesn't keep them from cancelling Netflix and starting back up again with a new free two weeks. Like Pirat_ponton, when logic stares them in the face, they just holler a lot.

If you ever see a postal worker carry in a cart full of mail, these are full of Netflix mailers.

Game Consoles

The Three Sixty Box and the Wry allow you to watch softcore porn on your TV via Netflix and gives kids yet another way to get their fap on.

External links

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