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Longseet
—Longseet, being a typing prodigy | ||
Longseet, also known as Travis, Jeff and Max is a Disney-Pixar Cars faggot from the south of America who is quite clearly proud of it. As the prime example of why Rednecks need to be trolled, he has his own hands-on ways of handling bullies on the internet and also seems to be very whole-hands on with his keyboard, never being able to string a whole sentence together unless he's using two words. (Those words are usually 'ok' 'good' 'nice' or 'you nice', clearly demonstrating his spelling skills.)
He likes to play games about cars, rp as a car, get people to draw eyes on cars because he can't draw eyes on cars himself, request that his internet-family draws car porn, and pair his real life car with a fictional character, who is also a car. He would probably like to stick his cock into an exhaust pipe, if he hasn't already tried it.
He is 20 years old and is currently dating a 16 year old. He claims it is because 'No one else will love me.' Really not surprising, but it turns out she could have up to four other boyfriends.
The den of Cars-faggotry
Uncovered when someone found oral sex of two cars done by the dA mother of this man, it turns out all of these people have one thing in common: They all fap to The Little Engine That Could, Cars, and Thomas The Tank Engine in one way or another. Even going so far as to make a group dedicated to their strange fetish for cars and trains alike. They actually have a variety of groups, but the majority of sick fuckery goes on in the first one. It should also be noted that Longseet has his own fanclub, consisting of 3 people. One of them is himself.
Longseet was singled out from the people that swarmed around the car sex, first noted in this conversation for his quality typing skill.
It raised the question: how is this faggot 20 years old?
He then came back elaborating on exactly how he is 20 while the point went completely over his head, which is only what is to be expected when someone is truly this stupid. He was, of course, jumped on by the trolls - and then came along two white knights to pounce onto the already crowded pile of people, but they were a welcome addition.
Longseet's attempts to string a sentence together and possibly his frustration with the trolls made him come up with a lot of golden typos such as bocking, and rude gril. It seems that his typos have a recurring theme, and he may be developing his own super secret language to communicate with his friends in a way only they will understand. 'Trolling' becomes 'Tolling', 'Please' becomes 'Plesae', 'Thanks' becomes 'Thacks', etc. Though it is only on rare occasions that Longseet actually uses these terms, because as mentioned earlier most of his 'sentences' are just 'ok' or two simple words put together. Faced with big adult words, he quickly becomes confused and angry, unable to understand the conversation once it has left his Elementary grade comfort level.
White Knights/Friends of Longseet
His whole cast of friends are mostly white knights, circlejerking each other's gear sticks off and bocking all of the trolls in unison to protect the traffic jam that would be to them what packs of wolves or prides of lions are to furfags; which is basically what they are, but with less fur and more metal.
Kaitlyn/TigerPrincessKaitlyn
Longseet's girlfriend and jailbait, at least for him. Most people would find her too ugly and annoying to go out with, but she's all he can get; but they do make quite a fetching couple. Her brand of stupidity is the icing to the retard cake that he is, and it would seem that he ate the cake considering she is a voraphile and he is quite the fatty.
Her entire gallery on dA consists of traced bases, making her just like every other tartlet in that sense; and just like the majority of tartlets, she believes she is part demon.
She truly believes that all trolls in the world are British lesbians and will hate anyone who is British, or a lesbian, with a passion. As of now it is unknown why she hates British people and lesbians with such a passion, but it could be due to a severe case of stupid that addles her few brain cells.
She is inept at keeping a story straight, as demonstrated by the fact she claimed her grandma talked to her after she mentions that the same grandma died about a week ago, among other things which she is terrible at such as drawing and killing herself. She is quite talented at keeping several boyfriends however, taking note to explain how she loves both of them equally but then will quickly dump one in a day then come back to him the next, or in a few hours.
She seems to have some beef with GigaGodzilla21, accusing her of making Longseet cheat on her because she defended him during the initial trolling bout. She has later gotten mad at him because he didn't go to bed when she told him to, and because he didn't get off the internet when she did. It proves that while she says trolls are insecure, she's actually highly insecure herself and knows that no one wants to put up with that shit from anyone.
They broke up for an hour.
—Kaitlyn, expressing deep feelings upon her one-hour breakup. | ||
Among her quality art, you will find odd pictures that she faps to at night. Most of these involve vore or macrophilia, and her ugly, fat, lump of a boyfriend, Travis. It goes to show that the only way she can find him attractive is by mixing him with her fetishes; which has the reverse effect on the rest of the world (including him) causing mass wtfery. Longseet just tries to pass it off as funny so that Kaitlyn doesn't accuse him of ignoring her, but it really isn't and even he knows it. When asked about her fetishes, or why the fuck she can't keep that shit private, she will ignore the question every single time. Travis and James either don't care or don't have the brain capacity to ask her about it, opting instead to play dumb and leave her with emotes and one word replies because they just don't know what the fuck to say about it. Surveys show that it could be her belief that she is fragile that drives her to want to be eaten, because deep down she knows that she doesn't deserve to live. She can't just kill herself, of course, because she has the internet to attend to daily and she simply can't tear herself away from it even though she often threatens to. (It's clear she only does it for the attention, yet still her friends asspat her for it.
Her other boyfriend (that we know of) is called James. He makes more quality art in mspaint such as this transgender gem. No one, not even Kaitlyn, cares about him in the slightest.
As for Travis, since the trolling began she has taken to making lots of rules for him to follow but she calls them "helpfull tips".
—Kaitlyn, on why she is a crazy bitch and needs to calm the fuck down. | ||
She will bitch at him even for going out to the store without her prior consent to such an action. She will also get upset if he sleeps later than he tells her that he's going to bed, possibly because he wants to get the fuck away from her for once and talk to his friends. (While stupid, they pale in comparison to how utterly annoying and bitchy that Kaitlyn is.)
Her incredible amounts of faggotry mixed with her fucked up fetishes and controlling attitude, mixed with a dash of GOTIS and a sprinkling of USI is a recipe for 100% unhealthy bitch. (However, the fact that she's in a recipe for something would turn her on, so she would miss the point of it while fapping) The point being, of course, that she is crazy and nobody, not even Longseet, knows how he puts up with her. The only logical reasoning for her having not only one but several boyfriends is that she is a slut and puts out a lot, then expects that the guys who love her are going to give a fuck about her every demand she asks of them. Expect a break up soon, and the bawwing that will follow because she doesn't realise that she is batshit and needs to loosen up and stop being a whore if she ever hopes to have a successful relationship.
When asked about her other boyfriends, she refuses to answer the question put to her. Travis doesn't answer either, but that could be because he has no idea what the fuck is going on, as with most things. However, James kindly answered, unveiling the faggotry that was going on.
—James, on Kaitlyn's relationships | ||
It raised the question, 'who the fuck is michael'?
Turns out that Michael is this guy, who if you have been following the links on this article will have shown up several times. He is possibly the most boring person in existence, unable to say much other than 'Cool Kat'; which he says on every single thing that Kaitlyn has made. The only times he doesn't say this is when he isn't not giving a fuck and actually contributes, but he's not that helpful. There is a reason for this, though: It turns out anyone trying to be genuinely helpful towards Kaitlyn will at some point or another be labelled a troll. This is reminiscent of typical tartlet behavior, such as 'If you critique me, I will bock you!' but Kaitlyn style.
Kaitlyn is genuinely paranoid that everyone is a troll, and will block and ban (from tinychat) anyone who does not adhere to the rules she has laid out.
Ways to get yourself bocked:
- Don't immediately tell her you are not a troll, because in her mind, everyone is guilty until they claim to be innocent.
- Point out that she's a slut for having multiple boyfriends on the go.
- Pretend to be Travis (Goes under the name 'Max' on tinychat), this causes major lulz.
- Tell her that she can't draw because she uses bases even though she admits she can't draw for shit
- Just insult her in any way, shape or form.
- Tell her Travis is cheating on her.
- Point out rednecks are stupid.
mrdeadpills77
After the above image's events took place, he proceeded to go on an absolute rampage threatening to 'delete his dA' in three days after it happened. He claimed that there was a 'he' harassing him, and then when questioned didn't even know who 'he' was. Of course, it didn't happen and he was exposed as an illiterate attention whore, but he got all the asspats he wanted. Including but not limited to this journal made by one of his friends which asks the timeless question: Why can't just leave people alone? There were two pages of comments on it, in which Longseet sticks his obese foot in the door and tries to fit into the drama as the good guy, when we all know it is in fact his fault for being so stupid that trolls are swarming all over his friends anyway. Way to go, Longseet!
Besides that, the only time he has been mentioned within the whole thing was GigaGodzilla21 telling Longseet that she thinks he's creepy for coming onto her. Later they are seen possibly in a relationship, confirmed by the fact all of the hidden comments are them cybering each other with their terrible English rife in the conversation. Their definition of cybering seems to be limited to three-word rp with posts like " *licks your vigan* " and "*sucks your dick*". Quality rping all the way through. Expect the two to be banned in the near future, because when it wasn't hidden they were reported and will soon be swooped upon by the righteous Banhammer of dA admins.
Tuckinator12
Some guy who thinks he is the antithesis of trolls and rips up train models or some bullshit like that. I don't really know much about him so if anyone who does could fill this in would kindly do so that would be cool. He is related to this page, somehow.
Comet72
Possibly 12 years old but surprisingly has a better grasp on English than most of their own friends. Managed to cause longseet to get butthurt when their mother blocked him due to the fear that their relationship was getting too personal, possibly inciting more of his pedo shenanigans. Was also used as part of trolling to make Kaitlyn believe that Longseet was dumping her for him, because she's really paranoid that he will leave her when she has about 4 other backup boyfriends on the go while he isn't allowed any.
Later, she joined in the crusades of people 'spreading the word' about who to block, undoubtedly failing in some way or another.
GigaGodzilla21
The first of the white knights to show up to the troll party, she demonstrated her fine ability to argue with this post. Troll need to quit trolling, you know? Also leaving other fantastic comments like these, she proved that no one in Longseet's orbit should ever be taken seriously from the start. She also seems to be an avid user of the block-and-reply-then-block-again tactic, using it here because she seriously can't reiterate enough that we must stop trolling longseet.
It then so happens that Kaitlyn became paranoid of this one too, accusing longseet of cheating after he supported GG21's standing up for him. They broke up for an hour and were then together again because he is totally more important than any of her other boyfriends!!1!
She goes under the name 'Victoria' on tinychat.
TitanosaurusCutie
Supposedly the niece of GigaGodzilla21, she showed up immediately after to join in the battle to stop the trolls to no avail. In fact, there was a rather surprising and lulzy turn of events, wherein after making these two comments and reporting the people whom she was commenting on, this happened.
It was a failure for all of carkind.
Memorable Quotes
— Kaitlyn, unashamed to be a sick fuck | ||
Previous Quote | Next Quote
Tinychat shenanigans
Aside from deviantART, Longseet and his merry cars are also avid users of tinychat, the faggot webcam-based chat used mainly by niggers, but now with carfags too. Much fun has been had here, because it is actually the only place that Kaitlyn and Travis can talk fully understanding each other because they do not have the grammatical skills on the internet to do so otherwise. Thus they actually tell each other (mostly from her to him) to get on tinychat.
As of now, we know of three rooms they use:
- princessofall - The most commonly used room, now Kaitlyn bans upon entry but if you call yourself a name she knows (Max or Travis is good) she will become extremely confused.
- longseet - The room originally found, later abandoned for the above.
- tigerprincesskaitlyn - A makeshift room so that they could hide from the trolls in longseet's room, again, abandoned because no one can escape the trolls.
Much lulz has been gained from trolling them via tinychat, starting with the image at the top of this page - Longseet threatening to shoot trolls over the internet. It didn't end there, though! Once his notoriety as possibly one of the most stupid people on the internet began to spread, more people joined in to troll - Kaitlyn suddenly was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of people (which wasn't that much) of which she simply couldn't ban. She gave up, leaving everyone to troll her boyfriend nightly while she occasionally started whining about her own life.
Sound files, text logs, etc.
Of course, they were recorded and logged during their time on tinychat up until now. Notable recordings include all of them because they never stop spewing incredibly silly bullshit.
Sound files:
- Kaitlyn tells us about religion while Pendulum's Propane Nightmares plays in the background, because Some faggot still hadn't worked out how to record properly; the music is somehow fitting, however.
- Longseet threatens to rape someone's mother while they burn in hell for their sins. He doesn't seem to notice that he would also be committing a sin by carrying out his threat, thus also securing his fate in Hell where he can yiff with his sick fuck girlfriend all night long.
- Longseet secures his status as a decent human being by declaring that he ain't gay, as we all know that the only people who are trolls in the world are british lesbians, as Kaitlyn has enlightened us.
- Longseet is amused when faced with niggers. Lots of niggers.
- Troals aren't funny, troals aren't people! Thanks, Kaitlyn! Your teachings will go very unheeded.
- Longseet expresses his distaste with the pesky trolls putting his face and voice all over their fawrawms.
- Kaitlyn tells us that Max is hers, and no one else can have him! Which is, again, irony, because she is an absolute whore.
- Kaitlyn's mother gets out of the kitchen and confirms that she has other boyfriends, and Longseet is upset over this. The confusing part is that on dA she publicly announces that she has more than one boyfriend but nobody seems to give a shit on the internet.
- Longseet gives us the age old excuse of why people are basement dwellers, that the outside world sucks.
- Kaitlyn kindly tells us that she is part demon after trying to explain why people have horns.
- "I don't even trust OHBAWMAH!"
- Longseet is okay with trollcops, but has a thing against real cops, possibly because he is a pedo and he knows it.
- Longseet again tells us that he is annoyed that the trolls are still putting him all over their glorious forums.
- Longseet tells a guy he will whip his ass for sexually harassing him. Are you sure that will work, Travis?
- Longseet threatens to kill himself by putting a pin in his neck.
Text Logs:
- fluffynuggets: GOD IS A FAIRYTALE, YOU COCKSUCKING IDIOTS. uvu b
- longseet: acer im crying now
- lilyellowmazda: listen your threats about hacking people are against the law
- princessofall: the people that trolled us were british lesbians
- geromy: I am the friend.
Hat fetish
It was also discovered on Tinychat that longseet has a fetish for hats. He claims to have 100 hats, even some under his bed which he does not have. Sometimes you just have to wonder if they'll ever know how to keep a story straight. It doesn't top his girlfriend's fetishes, though - as she is a macrophile voraphile fat fetishist, who believes that she is a cat and will often claim to being inside his stomach while they talk. Even Longseet can't fathom an answer to it, showing that her sick fuckery isn't worth even the most primitive of answers.
When asked about her fetish, Kaitlyn will not answer.
Trust issues
Starting with this when a troll used his Tinychat name to talk, which got them both rather annoyed, she came back after being trolled and acting tough to the trolls to tell him that she wanted to commit suicide. This coming from someone who, 10 minutes ago, said she was going to kill everybody. And that coming just prior to her saying that we all need to be Christians and get along, and only believing in Jesus will save you from your inevitable doom to go to hell, as a troll.
Kaitlyn is so intent to ban any trolls that enter the room that she accidentally banned herself. It was truly a subsequent failure for all of carkind.
Emo Cutter Girl
Once upon a time, mid-Summer while trolls were rife, a certain one got on their tinychat, interrupted their private chatting (which is redundant because if they wanted to be left alone they could just use an instant messaging system, but nobody thinks of that) by showing them ED's emo cutter girl images. Their reaction was nothing short of hilarious, with Longseet and Kaitlyn making vomiting sounds and putting their hands over their face. Again, no one thinks of the simple solution to just close the window or hide the offending camera. It even took them quite a while to ban him to begin with, but that only left time for more lulz.
How to troll their tinychat
Trolling their tinychat is relatively easy and it can be done in a few simple steps:
- Go to one of their rooms, whichever one they happen to be in.
- Enter your name as "max" "maxreal" "travis" "travisreal" "travie" "victoria" or a fan of any Cars character + a number
- Insult Kaitlyn
- Record the conversation
- Put it up on the internet somewhere
- Link them to it
- ????
- Profit
Of course, in doing so you may or may not be banned from the room. Never fear, however: Bans only last roughly 4 to 5 hours, and if you are good with proxies you can easily get round it. An alternative is to open several tabs on the chat and spam it with accounts, and hopefully appear to be her friend on a few so that you can record her reactions to the rest of it.
Best results will be found if all of those tabs are fake Travis accounts, because then Kaitlyn becomes depressed and confused over it and Travis will get terrifically mad.
Suicide!!1!
Following up Kaitlyn's repeated posts on dA concerning the fact that Travis will probably kill himself because of the 'offensive' trolls, as well as her own threats to do so. Of course, it was later discovered that neither of them have any idea how to kill themselves, as she thinks one can bleed to death when cutting themselves with a nail file (how do you even achieve that?) While Travis believes he can stick a pin in his neck and die.
—Longseet, on his suicide tactic. | ||
Gallery
Remember, whenever something lulzy happens, cap it and put it in here! There's a chance that they will hide the comments or delete whatever it is, so you need to make sure all shit is capped.
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How this turns people on is beyond intelligent life. -
This is what they do in Tinychat when they're alone. -
Travis's soil is sad, Kaitlyn! -
KISS ME YOU SEXY FERRARL
-
Notice the cars packets. -
Gon' shoot da troals! -
Longseet has a lot of hats -
Wipe your ass with your ghost! -
Longseet has the best poll. bawwleted! -
All of those british ideots, Kaitlyn! -
Longseet doing his thang. -
Longseet doing his other thang. -
Longseet likes butts. -
Really, really likes them. -
And bees. -
The car is literally a prostitute. -
He then proceeded to pretend to be a smurf. -
Stay the prettiest, Kaitlyn! -
-
-
So small and fragile, guise! -
A prime example of why people use bases, not make them. -
Kaitlyn makes such deep art. -
An hero with a nail file and butter knife. -
That's more like it! -
Child abuse is a-okay! Also, that ear. -
-
lil never lave you all -
Just, what. -
The internet makes Kaitlyn get a cold. -
Longseet is going why for willie. -
...Again, no. -
Longseet, master of the English language. -
But it's a lie, and she is the bad guy! -
Longseet's shipping: The car equivalent of marrying your pillow. -
Male lesbians, in hetalia.
