NANACA†CRASH!!

your target is an emo azn

NANACA†CRASH!! is a fan-made Flash game which features characters from an eroge (pronounced "arrow-gay" amirite?) called Cross Channel. In the game, the player launches a boy (Taichi, meaning "Emo Azn Fag") through the air by first hitting him with a bicycle. Unlike the Cross Channel games, Nanaca Crash is free from any erotic material; but totally full of lulz, as various other characters are used to send Taichi even further. Nanaca Crash is notable for being the un-official game of /v/irgins.

Game play

Nanaca Crash's entire object is to keep Taichi bouncing through the simple two-dimensional world for as long as possible. Upon hitting a certain girl, or stopping forward motion, the game ends, and the distance you covered is shown. Simple rule of thumb: Taichi hates the cock, so don't touch the boys, and touch all the girls, except the nerdy one with the glasses.

Starting

The game starts with the player setting the angle and power at which Nanaka (kanji meaning Ride Bike Girl Flower) will launch Taichi. Setting the launch angle and power generally determines how the rest of the game will go. For best results, use mid to low angles and high power.

Aerial Crash

The player does have limited control over Taichi's flight path to an extent by using the "Aerial Crash." You are given 3 upward crashes to last your entire game session (denoted as † signs next to the red arrow), and one downward crash that recharges while Taichi is flying between the bottom and top of the screen. To activate an aerial crash, simply click the mouse anywhere when the word "AERIAL" is red or blue (denoting an upward or downward crash). You may only crash upwards when you are travelling downwards in the air, and vice versa. The upper crash gives you a great boost forward and up, resuming the angle you had, and the lower crash adds a very slight forward boost, which will change your angle slightly forward if you are aiming for a specific character on the street. Basically, use the red one to regain speed if you're about to stop, or if you want to avoid a specific character on the street, and use the blue one to purposefully hit someone in the street. Since the blue one is replenishable and gives a slight speed boost, try to rely on that one for control and use the red only in emergencies. Also, the player can only use either crash while Taichi is between the trees and the top of the screen.

Effects

Once Taichi is in the air, there is an endless line of people to crash into. The upcoming characters are displayed as colour-coded portraits below the "SPECIAL" box, with arrows pointing to them as they approach. BTW, the characters on the street appear in sets of 10, meaning you will see all 10 characters again before the set repeats (every 100m forward), but in every set of 10, they are randomly shuffled, and the same character can't appear twice within 4 characters (that way a set doesn't end with Blue and the next set won't begin with Blue or have her in the first 3 characters, so she won't appear twice on one screen). Crashing into them will have effects on his flight path, as detailed below:

• Note: All angle changes do not fix your angle to that degree, but draw you more toward that degree.

These girls send Taichi farther and faster.

• Red: Touko (Purse Punch Bitch Hidden Samurai): Shouts "Chipotleeeeeee!!!11oneoneone" and slaps Taichi with her purse, launching him further. Good horizontal speed and slight vertical, low angle boosts, aimed towards a 30 degree angle.
• Yellow: Miki (Genki Uppercut): Punches Taichi into the air. Good vertical and slight horizontal speed boosts, aimed towards a 60 degree.
• Blue: Kiri (Super Bitch Roundhouse Dry Cunt Turbo): Kicks Taichi. Intermediate horizontal/vertical boost at roughly a 45 degree angle.

These girls generally hinder Tachi's flight.. Avoid them unless aiming for a SPECIAL.

• Green: Misato (Nerd Glasses Cute Danger): "STOP!!" If Taichi runs into Misato, he will cling to her and end the game, unless a SPECIAL is in effect. See below.
• Purple: Youko (It Are Trap Desu): "THROUGH and RUN!!" Negates the effect of the next girl Taichi would otherwise hit ("BLOCK"), unless a SPECIAL is in effect (see below). If Taichi hits one of the two boys, she will attack the boy, but the standard effect will apply. Youko generally has a negative effect, since three of the other four girls have positive effects, but she can save Taichi from Misato or lead to strong Nanaka Combos (See SPECIALS below, Comic Force Field section). It wears off after blocking one idiot.

Boys will fuck you up, you'll want to avoid them in most instances.

• Brown: (Weeaboo name unavailable) (Return Snacks Faggot): When you hit him, he drops snacks, then fucks up your angle. If you were at a low angle before, congrats, you win an angle about 40 degrees higher than you had. If you were at a high angle, you win angles about 40 degrees lower than you had. Either way, be prepared for your new trajectory. If you are trying to achieve the other angle, by all means, hit this guy on purpose using the blue aerial crash.
• Cyan: (Weeaboo name unavailable) (Star Death of Seven Slow): Slows your speed without fucking up your angle. At least recovering from an angle change is easier than recovering speed from being slowed, so try to avoid this guy at all costs.

SPECIALS

Besides the boys, all characters have a Special you can qualify for if you do it right and hit them at the proper times and conditions, as defined below. When you connect with the eligible girl in Special mode, you have only a second or so to click anywhere to activate the special (you'll be warned with "SPECIAL!! CLICK CLICK NOW ZOMG CLICK PLZ" across the top).

• Red: If you hit her normally, her face lights up in the Special box, and will remain lit up for several bounces. If you hit her again, she transforms into a samurai girl and hits you with basically the same hit she did before (low angle, strong forward movement) but with double power. She is still eligible for Special after this, and you can chain it multiple times for great distance. If you get a boost from any character who is not her, she gets jealous and becomes ineligible for Special.
• Blue/Yellow: These two work together. If Blue and Yellow appear consecutively, the first of the two qualifies for Special. If you click when you connect with the first girl, she'll bat you into the second and then you get the first girl's normal effect, doubled. So, if Yellow was first, you get Genki Genki Uppercutted, and if Blue was first, you get Dry Dry Roundhoused.
• Green: If you get boosted by any other girl, Green always lights up on the Special qualifier box. If you manage to come down from your boost and hit Green before touching the ground, then she will hug you, but if you click to activate the Special fast enough, the other girls will get butthurt, come over and each take their smack on you while you get a panty shot from Greenie, then Greenie bitchslaps the motherfucking shit out of you and you get blasted super far forward, gravitating toward a 45 degree angle. One of the best specials, but dangerous to attempt.

"NANACA CRASH COMIC FORCE FIELD TYPE X!!" Are the Super Nanaca Specials you get by having Youko block you when you hit a girl. First you hit Youko (Purple) first, get in block status, which basically means, you can't do any other specials except Greedy Greedy Purple Specials. However, these are teh best in the game. Once you're in block status, the game picks a random number between 1 and 10, and that many characters after Purple becomes the hidden Special person, whoever it happens to be, as detailed below. After that, every 10th character from that slot is the Special, so if you miss the first Super Special character, that's fine, take note of who it was/where they were on the street and count 10 characters after them, and that character is the next Super Special that you should hit (provided it isn't a dude). You will be warned that this person is Super Special by the Special indicator lighting up "C.F.F." for "Cunt Fucking Furfag". Aim for that character and yiff at their special:

• Red: You'll turn red and start storing damage/boost every time you earn one normally. At some point (either when you run out of momentum, or hit Green when she isn't on Special, or maybe some other times), you will unleash all of the boosts that you made while you were red, again. Essentially this is like a backup life, or a faerie from Legend of Zelda.
• Blue: "PARACHUTE DEATH SENTENCE." This one's kinda hot though easy mode, basically you just get carried forward a free 1000m and then sent into the air for another boost at a decent angle and good height.
• Yellow: BOUND BOOST. Whenever you hit the ground, you get a boost, instead of losing the usual 1/3 of your height and 1/10 of your momentum forward. W00t.
• Green: DOUBLE IMPACT. Whenever you get a boost, you come twice.

Typical Reaction

yes, it's really this fucking stupid

15:20 BURK oh god
15:21 BURK wtf
15:21 BURK is this
15:21 BURK weatherman wtf
15:21 BURK did you just link me

Related Articles

• Trolls

Resources

• nanaca-crash_v107_flash10ver.swf Play the game (works with flash player 10)
• Nanaca Crash IRC links hacked version Recommended for pussies, or people who are trying to get work done while playing Flash games and only want to be bothered to check the game's status every 3 minutes.
• Nanaca-Crash OG version For real men.

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