Thoth

Thoth in the midst of a "prayformance"

Thoth is a batshit crazy Black-White Crossbreed who lives in New York with his mom and who has no job. His singular source of income is pity-money (charity) gleaned from jumping around in the tunnel beneath a bridge in Central Park, donning nothing but a Violin and skimpy loincloth in what he calls "prayformances".

Thoth's Sexuality

	“	I do not prefer men or women. All People are beautiful to me	„
	—Thoth (a man wearing eyeliner and a loincloth) Explains his sexuality

A Topic of much debate and discussion, Thoth is a self proclaimed bisexual and "lover of all peoples". He spends most of his time working out, and dancing around semi-nude beneath his favorite bridge, in front of women and children, who pay him a few cents in the hopes of making him stfu for a few fucking minutes.

Apparently, Thoth used to actually have a girlfriend in California in 2001, a snow-white girl who appeared in the self-titled movie about Thoth, which won a token academy award for shittiest and most boring film evar made. But with Thoth having moved away to NYC, his left-behind gf realized what a fucking freak she was dating, and promptly called it off. It is speculated that Thoth's butthurt in the wake of the breakup, and the fact that he doesn't make enough money to buy some cheap anal salve, is part of what encourages his manic ass-shaking and frantic movement, thus precluding his ability to find a real job.

Thoth's Opera

"Thoth becomes Caguma, mentor of hero Nular-in."

Thoth's alphabet includes swastikas. the letter "Ahee"

Entitled, THE HERMA Thoth's self-authored opera, which he performs on a daily basis, is the story of a tribal Hermaphrodite from an imaginary land called Festad. This hermaphrodite falls in love with his/her brother, and then goes on some kind of journey of self-discovery. Thoth created his own language (which he lovingly refers to as "abacadacaba,"), his own alphabet (which includes swastikas), and his own country (complete with a map) which he regularly references in the opera.

In Thoth's own bizarre description:

	“	I, Nular-in, am born during Aramir - the last, plague ridden age of Festad. The clan lord Pansu-ga seeks my death because I am a hermaphrodite and it is augured that he will not be Qar or emperor because of a hermaphrodite. So, he has ordered that all hermaphrodites be killed. Pansu-ga is told about my existence and he attempts to kill me. He destroys my desert oasis home, Balo, and murders my father. A Zentar, a flying, dragon-like being, who has been keeping an eye out for me, saves me and my mother from imminent death and carries us out of the desert to safety, hiding us in the crater of the great volcano, Irma. Several Silvar, or years later, Irma erupts, and while fleeing, my mother and I are separated. I am adopted by a family of sea people who take me to live with them as a girl in their underwater country, Mene. My adopted brother, Tito, and I fall in love, but when he finds out I’m a hermaphrodite, he is horrified and beats me almost to death. Fortunately, my adopted sister, Ami-dor, finds me and nurses me back to consciousness. Once feeling better, I seek advice from the underwater seer, Hu, and she encourages me to leave Mene on the back of Tobi, a giant sea turtle, and seek out a mentor to teach me more about my self. I find my mentor in a mountain monastery called Eldar. She is called Caguma and is the being who saved me and my mother's life in the desert a long time ago. For many Silvar, she teaches me the esoteric traditions of Droshi - the ancient monks who built Eldar a long time ago. Upon completion of my studies, Caguma rewards me with three special objects of self-mastery. Unfortunately, she dies before revealing the ultimate mystery: the location of Luva - a great pyramid built by Droshi a long time ago. Riding Xosi, the last of the flying horses, I explore the twelve Festad countries to find clues about the whereabouts of Luva. During my travels, I am reunited with my mother and Ami-dor, and revisit the place where my father was killed. Pansu-ga captures and imprisons me, and I discover that it is his ambitious mother who is the mastermind behind his actions. To atone for beating me up years ago, Tito, now calling himself Oso, frees me from prison and leads me into the mountainous north, Tenneset, where he shows me a drawing he has discovered on a cave wall during his wanderings. Through my Droshi studies I am able to decipher the drawing as a map showing the location of Luva. It has been hidden in Eldar all along. While returning to Eldar, Oso and I are trapped and surrounded by Pansu-ga, his mother, and their minions. Using the Aramir flower, I hold them at bay, and Oso and I escape. At Eldar I raise Luva with the Droshi phrase: ABACADACABA. News of the raising of Luva crosses Festad and people make the pilgrimage from all over to witness it. In Luva I dance and chant, and the pyramid vibrates and spins, destroying my enemies and the decaying Festad. A new world comes into existence....	„
	—The Herma

The Documentary

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Links

• Abacadacaba
• Thoth's shitty Web 1.0 site

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Thoth is part of a series on Cults

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