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Ean Griffiths
Ean "Top DAWG" Griffiths is a perverted, self-proclaimed rapper, manchild, and creator of his own skillfully-written Raps and Hair Product Reviews. Ean was Born May 21 1985 in Lithgow, Australia. As well as "suffering" from Williams Syndrome, Ean also suffers from a delusional case of self-importance, oblivious to the fact that he has 5,000 friends on Facebook solely for them to make fun of him. He is convinced his childish and pointless lyrics will make him the next great Slim Shady.The most notable physical characteristic of Ean is his enormous rat teeth.
THE KING OF AUS RAP - TOP DAWG
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Social Media
Ean's hobbies include posting "rap videos" to Jewtube, as well as post flooding Facebook, making empty promises for various things such as rap and guitar vids, hair tutorials and other various stories and musings that would all appear to be delusional in nature. His topics on Facebook include his album which has been dropping soon (for the past few years, presumably never), Hair Style Tips, His Hatred for Maccas, His amazing rap career and how he got started, his incredible celebrity connections, his frustration at not being able to land a woman, his terrifying encounter with Trent, his rivalry with Little Timmy and other random childish babbling.
Ean is often the target of trolls but nothing yet of an organized manner. The most common trolling on Ean simply involves hundreds of people tagging their friends in his Status posts. Another common trend of trolls is people reporting his page until he is post blocked. Frequently he is the target of women pretending to be interested in him only to tease and make fun of him. There have only been two documented cases of larger scale trolling on Ean. The first being a joint effort between parties to create many clones of his Facebook page and to post comments on his posts acting as if this were Ean himself commenting. His own vanity and desire for acceptance makes it impossible for him to change the privacy settings on his Facebook, out of fear of less attention. The second such trolling revolves around a group of Americans known as BMK or "Bitch Made Killers". These people pretend to be a gang that Ean is a part of. During times when Ean was reconsidering his membership in this "Gang" they hosted a "Trial" to determine if he was worthy. The attempts at making Ean look even dumber than he is appeared to have succeed better than expected as even the trolls felt remorse and pulled back on their efforts.
The Videos
Ean is most well known for his Rap Videos. Many of them are shot with some form of phone/tablet from a terrible view that showcases his poor dental hygiene. These videos very rarely feature music, and many of the rhymes don't actually rhyme or fall on any sort of beat
Controversy
His Lyrics
This is Ean's Most obvious fail. He often sings about drugs, guns, and women. His most controversial proposed song title to date is " I want to touch your pussy". Ean has implied this is both about sex and not about sex at all
Post Floods
Ean Loves to post status after status on FB calling people cunts and begging for Inboxes. He often times brings Nerd Rage upon him self by claiming to be connected to tragic events such as shootings and tropical storms, often times off completely.
Women
Like Christian Weston Chandler Ean has a soft spot for the ladies and tends to attract women that take advantage of him.
- Tiger Lily: A DJ that Ean is in Love with but has never actually spoke to
- Ruby Tuesday: A Hairdresser that despite having a boyfriend and clearly just trying to be nice, Ean is convinced they are to be married and often shows up at her job and home uninvited.
- Hollie: A very touchy and upsetting subject for Ean. He reports she back-stabbed him. Possible Troll.
- Red Giovannaa: A satanist e-thot Ean has been "married" to since August 2021.
Notable Accomplices
- Little Timmy: A Child Rapper Youtube persona who Ean believes to be his rival.
- Trent: There was one time in 2014 at a bar some guy tried to make Ean take a vape hit. Ean reports being afraid for his life.
- Scooter: Ean's dog that he is frequently accused of raping and molesting.
- Ace Frehley: In 2008 Ean claimed they were friends. There is no actual evidence this is true.
- Fortay: An actual Australian rapper. Ean's white knight.
- Kerser: Another Australian rapper. Less talented than most. Less of a white night and more of an idiot himself.
External Links
Ean Griffiths is part of a series on the ED Special Olympics |
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