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Pac-Man

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Pac-Man

Pac-Man is an old-school arcade game famous for pioneering the vidya game world, being one of the only games one could play back in the long ago, and for turning a generation of kids into fat, lazy, unmotivated nerds. It has been postulated by some that this game caused serious mental problems in a whole generation, but if that was true we would all be sitting in the dark chomping pills and listening to repetitive musi... oh shit!

Beginnings

It became popular among heterosexual Japanese teens despite its retarded premise. One year later, it was brought to the States. Americans went batshit insane over the dorky little yellow head. Numerous merchandise, including cereal, board games, and a TV show, left an indelible stain upon pop culture. Teens wasted their allowance on this arcade game even before they received it, completely forgetting about that Michael Jackson 8-track they've been pining for. In fact, Pac-Man is partially responsible for the decline in 8-track sales by the turn of the decade. That's good since cassettes pwn them anyway. Overall, that fuck stain Pac-Man (not to be confused with Paki-Man or Pikmin ) was the shit in America back then, and people loved it until they got killed one time and went insanely mad. Good Night folks!

Feminism Attacks

In 1981, feminists, high on estrogen and folk guitar, hijacked a truck delivering Pac-Man machines to hick towns (the last places in the U.S. to experience Pac-Man Fever), and used their l33t binary skills to re-write the code of the game to turn the male protagonist into a female. Word spread of this incident, as more and more feminists took the helm of the franchise. The new game, Ms. Pac-Man, was another huge sensation, even among men. This explains why bisexuality and hair metal became prominent during the 1980s. Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man eventually got married and gave birth to a kid, PacMan Jr., but noone gave a shit about that.

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See also

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