Sootyjared
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BREAKING NEWS!! Sooty was thinking/attempting to go an hero. We will keep you posted with breaking news from ED. |
Sootyjared[1] is a fucktarded little TARTlet prick who occupies devianTART. Engage him at your own risk. The little faggot is known for being extremely butthurt at the slightest provocation. The funny thing is the turd says he's an anarchist while sucking the dick of DA admins to report everyone and everything that offends him (which is everything). He will then display this by baaaaaaaaaaaawlllking anyone who contradicts him.
Brief overview
At first the former title of faggot anarchist went to Sooty-Booty's buttboy Jejejeje823. Je joined a TARTlet group on called Controversy Inc where all the political faggots on DA complain and bitch about stuff nobody cares about. Naturally this goes to the head of some (all)TARTlets. It would seem Jejejeje was one of them. His horrid grammar and baaaaaaaaawling over Baaaaaawza attracted amany trolls and Zionists. This resulted in much butthurt and rants from Je and many lulz for those on Controversy. Then circa December 2014, around Christmas a new Knight of Buffonia came from the South. Sootyjared had come to play.
At first his horrid grammar and general buffoonery led the world's leading scientists to assume he was in fact a sock puppet account of Jejejeje seeing as how no one else could possibly match his stupidity. Je denies this but the research for this topic continues. WE still do not the true nature of this creature, if it is simply an off shoot of the Jejejeje species trying to outmatch his master's stupidity or it's just Jejeje with another account. Using it for a circle jerk like having a metaphorical masturbation session on DART. EDIT: Confirmed that Sooty is a an alt account of Jejeje. Now he's trying to fake a suicide with this puppet. See An Hero below. In any case the Knight of Buffonia has outdone his master and he will continue to supply lulz for anyone with more than two functioning braincells.
Baaaaaawling for Gaza
One of the main topics that Sooty Booty and his buttboy Jejejeje like to circle jerk over is Gaza. Sooty decided upon himself that this would be the noble fight he would cruse for on the interwebs. Unfortunately something terrible, awful, and unexpected happened: people had differing opinions and challenged him (gasp)! As such many chimed in with things such as facts about the IDF and and the death toll in Gaza. This resulted in mass amounts of stereotypical butthurt and baaaaaaawling from Sooty.
Srsly! If you don't accept the fact Israel is committing an outright lolocaust on the Failistinians you are obviously an evil infidel who supports the murder of innocent children. Sooty's plan for peace in the Middle east is to allow the Musfags to fire more rockets at the infidel, a trait certainly not lost on the far-left. Anyone who says otherwise is an evil fascist Nazi who wants to kill 7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,00,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Palestinians and their babies. You should always trust in the authority of Sooty and never ever question him.
This has resulted in Sooty getting rektd and anally raped on DART several times by Zionist and anyone with even basic knowledge in this issue. This still hasn't stopped him from spouting otherwise. If you ever pwn him bad enough he will hide your comment and claim you support killing kagillion bajillion Failistinian babies mentioned.You can be sure his dumbles will be around long on DA as long as the admins continue to be total dumbasses.
And speaking of his buttboy Jejejeje823, even though IHadToRepeat"Je"823FuckingTimes had blocked one of the guys that had PWNed him royally and ripped him six new assholes, he keeps making journals behind baleted his back, as this image proves, as well as providing tons of lulz for anyone with basic logic in their fucking skulls.
Sooty's argumentation in Several Easy Steps.
Sooty Booty is constantly trying to achieve the interwebs undisputed title of resident lolcow. While many others would have realized that at this point no one is taking you seriously, Sooty still thinks he is the bee's knees and gawd!!! Unable to fathom how many times others have pwned and rektd his by now gaping asshole, a flow chart was made here[2]. To translate into Ediot language here is the run down.
- Baaaaaaaaawl about the Gaza lolocaust.
- Ignore all evidence for he is gawd
- Everyone lols at him and his attempts, not to mention the grammar.
- Baaaaaaawls about us making fun at the lulz he created.
- Sucks the dicks of DA mods like Realitysquared and Y2jenn to get others banned to stop the anal raepage.
- Repeat.
Fight against the Far Right
It would seem that our dumbling friend has said ENOUGH IS ENOUGH and decided to wage war against the far right. The first thing he did to do that was make a shitty journal post trying to declare all enemies of the left who were coincidentally all those who had their way with sooty in a back alley. Unfortunately for the little turd he didn't realize you can't close comments on DA journals. Naturally all those he called out came there to anally rek him again. In response to this he made a group to fight against the far right. The group has an outstanding two members! One of which is Sooty-booty himself and his buttboy Jejeje. You too can join in on the fun here!
An Hero
After some time on DA Sooty decided to go an hero much to the delight of many on DA. However it still used this time to try and wank as much sympathy as it possibly could through these events including the productions of even more shitty art. At the end of the day it was most likely faking it for attention and everyone rightfully loled at its expense. Later proven that Sooty is an alt account of Jejejeje823 and that it was him faking suicide. It is now recommended that you take the piss out of him for this sleazy activity by bringing your best suicide jokes to the table here. It's still being melodramatic claiming IT WANTS TO DIE!!!111!!!111 and that you are probably there to hate it.
TL;DR
Gallery of Lulz
- Bawwwwwwwwwls about screenshots and rulz. Meanwhile he has several in his gallery.
- Sooty displaying his "reading" skills.
- Sooty does not under stand the definiton of butthurt. See trolling with butthurt for demonstration.
- Him attempting to stroke the metaphorical cock of DA admins like Y2jenn and Realitysquared in order to get everyone he doesn't like bawleted.
- Sooty Booty tires to enter the world of the RP community. Little does he know that is one he should stay the fuck away from.
- Anything that is wrong according to Sooty Jared is harassment. Prepare for the butthurt and to be bored to tears
- Sooty thinks he is Gawd!!!!!
- Admits that his "evidence" from "make up, right?" is a doctored photo. Also doesn't explain what the fuck a cracker American middle-class kid is doing in Gaza.
- Baaaaaaaaaaaaaawletion
- YOU ARE KILLING THE CHILDREN!!!11111
- Another projection and ad-hominem attack. I'm bringing the facts. You've brought an empty skull.
- You're doing Butthurt[[3]] wrong
- FINAL COMBO!
Triva
- Sooty has a girlfriend. You can view pictures of her here!
- In the off chance he does have one, she is too busy being eaten out by resident nigger 345rv5 because of Sooty's tiny booty and dick. Confirmed by Sooty Jared here that he gets no pussy.
- Sootyjared got a sex change last Thursday and is now a female. It is now recommended to ridicule "it" for the Frankenstein experiment it is.
- Sootyjared got the sex change to make it easier for people to have their way with "it" so now there are two holes instead of one.
See Also
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