3000th Article

This article is perfect. Don't fuck with it!

1. This is the 3000th Article.
   1. This article may serve as a punchline for e-lawyer jokes.
   2. Punchlines involving this article may be created by adding a new section and filling in the details of the joke there.
      1. Example: "According to Section 4, Paragraph 2, Sentence 2 of the 3000th Article, you are a furry and must either pay the furry fine of $286,124 or proceed to the electric chair of your choice for summary destruction."
         1. In regions where, due to the removal of capital punishment, the actions described in Section 1, Paragraph 1, Sentence 1 are not possible, please report to a vet.
2. This is Section 2, Paragraph 1, Sentence 1 of the 3000th Article.
   1. This is Section 2, Paragraph 2, Sentence 1 of the 3000th Article.
      1. This is Section 2, Paragraph 2, Sentence 2 of the 3000th Article.
3. If you still do not understand the 3000th Article, please fellate me.
4. This section contains important laws.
   1. Like this one.
   2. Furries are fucked in the head.
      1. A furry is defined as anyone who thinks they're an animal (note this animal will always be a cute animal. No one is ever a beetle or a pig).
      2. All furries OTI shall summararily pay a weekly tax of $286,124. This is referred to as the living tax and if not paid they will be killed.
         1. An exception will be made for all female furries who have tested negative for internet disease (approximately 0.001% of all furries). They will merely perform community service once a week. Failure to perform this community service will result in mandatory fines.
5. Following the rule set down by Section 2, Paragraph 2, Sentence 1 of the 3000th Article, this is not Section 2, Paragraph 1, Sentence 1 of the 3000th Article, but rather Section 5, Paragraph 1, Sentence 1 of the 3000th Article. Furthermore, the portion of Section 5, Paragraph 1, Sentence 1 of the 3000th Article following the language "but rather" will be known as Section 5, Paragraph 1, Sentence 1, Clause 1 of the 3000th Article, and so on.
   1. Based on the rule set down in Section 5, Paragraph 1, Sentence 1 of the 3000th Article, there can be no duplicate Article, Section, Paragraph, Clause combinations which produce the same effectual language.
      1. Redundency within the 3000th Article is discouraged, except for lulz.
         1. This extension will be known as Section 5, Paragraph 1, Sentence 1, Clause 2, even though it is headed by a 1.
         2. This clause does not deserve a name.
6. From hence forward, a luser hoping to become an ED sysop has to beat out this man in the activity portrayed.
   1. Females are allowed to try to beat eelgirl in her record of 28 eels.
      1. Alternatively, females may attempt to outshine tubgirl's shit parabola.
7. Not being here during the creation of this article is grounds to lose sysop.
   1. Furthermore, all contributing encyclopedia dramatica users should make an attempt to add one clause, sentence, paragraph, or section to the 3000th article.
      1. All edits to the 3000th Article should be as specific as possible, leaving no extraneous word unturned, unexplored, or unraped.
   2. Not making edits to the 3000th article constitutes reasonable grounds for
      1. having the noncontributor's rectum peed in.
      2. calling the noncontributor a scientologygist.
         1. Scientologygist is not a misspelling.
8. User:Thedreadedkettle and User:Einsidler are, in as few words allowed for 3000th Article use while remaining in complience with Section 7 paragraph 2 sentence 2, n00bz.
   1. If you are reading this, YOU are a noob.
9. Section 1, Paragraph 1, Article 1 is a lie.
   1. Section 9, Paragraph 2 states that nothing in the 3000th article is a lie in accordance with Section 10, Paragraph 1.
10. Section 9, Paragraph 2 has no idea what the fuck it's talking about
11. No part of the 3000th article may be taken out of context, except for section 7, paragraph 2, sentance 1.
12. User:Entropy must make one (1) addition to the 3000th article stating that User:Entropy has made one (1) addition to the 3000th article.
13. The use of old memes is prohibited OTI.
    1. As used in this section, the term "old" is defined as existing for over 9000 seconds.
       1. Section 13, Paragraph 2 of this Article does not violate Section 13 unless you want to be a dick about it.
    2. Violators of Section 13, Paragraph 1 are no longer entitled to free internets, even in severe cases of epic win.
14. In Section 1, Paragraph 2, Sentence 1, the term "Jewish", though not actually used, will now be changed to "porchnigger" to encourage tolerance.

Comments

That was the most anti-climatic thing I've ever seen. --Sheneequa 19:07, 17 June 2006 (UTC)

Lol, that's right. Stubs don't count as articles, we still have 2,999. --Sheneequa 19:08, 17 June 2006 (UTC)

• Not according to Special:Statistics, which says "there are 3,000 pages that are probably legitimate content pages." --mustard!ass complain 19:12, 17 June 2006 (UTC)
  • Now it's an article. --Sheneequa 19:13, 17 June 2006 (UTC)

This article wins the internet --Not an E! Insider 04:12, 18 June 2006 (UTC)

• Only the Pain series rivals this in the awesomeness department-but it still wins-Ket 04:17, 18 June 2006 (UTC)
  • Bah! I sneer at the pain series. It would be a much better article if someone could hunt down the other images. I might have a few, actually... --Bastardman 18:07, 19 June 2006 (UTC)

"a luser hoping to become an ED sysop has to beat out this man in the activity portrayed." --Not an E! Insider 05:42, 18 June 2006 (UTC)

• gay --Drunkenlazybastard 00:29, 21 November 2007 (CST)

See Also

• 3999th Article
• 4000th Article