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Portal:Whores/Featured Article/Archive

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March 2018

 

Jennifer Marie Baquing (a.k.a. Jee Jing, shelovesdresses, therealjennybeeee, Kim Jong Jew and Cha-Ching!) is a 37-year-old Azn-Americunt photographer, fashion designer, admitted high-class prostitute and self-proclaimed "disabled emo queer" whose near-immediate reaction to supposedly being brutally raped by a poor leftist white man on August 12, 2017, was to start a blog whining about how she was traumatized and in constant pain and then begin begging people on the internet to donate money to her crowdfunding campaign so she could move into a new house, smoke lots of marijuana and wouldn't have to resort to killing herself.

Unfortunately, Jennifer made the unbelievably stupid decision to never actually go to the police to report a rape that was supposedly so violent that it has caused her to suffer over half a year of unbearable pain and rack up tens of thousands of dollars in medical expenses – most likely because the rape never actually happened and it was all just a lie to make some quick and easy cash from feminist retards on the internet. Despite never offering any evidence to back up her claims and the fact that she was constantly harassing and insulting the very people who were actually giving her money, Jenny still managed to raise over $30,000 by merely claiming to be a rape victim on the internets before her YouCaring campaign was abruptly shut down on March 14, 2018.

March 2018

 

Brittany Venti (or Brittany Deer) is an edgy 27 year old trumpette that makes streams pandering to lonely betas on 4chan by flashing her cleavage on Twitch for 12 year old boys. When she's not playing as target practice for horny teens, she's trolling libtards epic style, her most notable example of this is when she went on Shia LaBeouf's He Will Not Divide Us stream and... screamed like an autist and got pick-pocketed by someone right in front of her face. The reason for this being that her eyes are too far off to the side to see anything in front of her.

Despite believing that she is original and coined edgy trolling by girls on Twitch, she is a shameless rip-off of every other e-whore that thinks they're the first to come up with the idea of an edgy girl on the internet that can appeal to chan culture. Unlike every other e-whore, she isn't actually attractive so she compensates by having her tits right in front of the screen as if anybody wants to see them.

To better connect with the people that jerk off to her videos interested in meme culture, she piggybacks on other bigger e-celeb's (such as LeafyIsHere and Baked Alaska) success by flirting with them and trying to get into their pants (even while being in a relationship) and promptly leaves once she is either called out or said e-celeb falls from "grace" and has to get a real job while the internet forgets about them and Tittany hopes that they also forget about her shameless dick sucking to weasel her way into the top. Here's a fun game: Ask her about why she tried dating Leafy and see how long it takes her to block you.

(( Coolest Mutt In The Mill ))

February 2018

 

Danielle (Danny) Anita Pitts is your basic, all around retarded, High School drop-out, pot-head, Trailor Trash Princess that has a judgement that can only be described as being worse than that of a 13-year-old AIDS infected, Nigerean prostitute eeking out a living by giving gummers at 10 cents a squirt.

Claiming that all she wanted to do was find out what Chris Chan's life was like when she released e-mails between her and Chris to KiwiFarms, pretended to be Chris' girlfriend for an organized joke by Super Planet Dolan, swindled $250 a month from him and along with her desire to become a part of Christory, Doopie got exactly what she wanted when she earned her very own ED article. Doopie went from thinking she was the super-cool troll that claimed that people are WAY too worried and sensitive about what other people think about them to be later transformed into a raging butthurt meltdown shell of a person when people started trolling her, Doopie, both IRL and online.


(( More Retarded Than the Retardest Retard ))

April 2017

 

June La Porta/June Lapine is like a 33 year old boxxy wannabe with even less common sense, a bigger ego and a free-for-all pussy, who occasionally makes uninteresting videos with some of the worst editing you have ever seen. An attention whore of the highest caliber, everything she does is done to pander to the beta virgin anti-feminist crowd. Naming herself after an old meme, copying boxxy's look, her clickbait video titles and thumbnails, parading her tiny tits around, and her edgy anti-feminist opinions were all calculated acts done in order to net her the highest possible amount of Youtube jewgold. The saddest part is that it totally worked, as she now has over 400k subs.

(( I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BOXXY! ))

August 2014

 

Wylona Hayashi is a wapanese Singaporean blogger known for spamming the internet with her photoshopped selfies taking endless selfies against the wall in her bedroom. Her edits consist of enlarging the eyes (while simultaneously shrinking the pupil of her circle lenses) and lips, shrinking the nose, slimming the waist, arms, and legs, and basically radically altering the entirety of her appearance so that she is no longer recognizable.

(( WYLONA HAYASHI ))

August 30, 2013

 

Amanda Todd was a 15-year-old Canadian camwhore who became an hero after being overcome by an addiction to bleach - although some argue she used it to wash away the taste of all the cocks she sucked while in high school. As a young and whorish 12-year-old, she flashed her tits over webcam to a friend. Being the great guy he is, he posted her nudes all over the Internet, prompting Todd to do the right thing. Her suicide has since provided excuses for thousands of faggots on shitty sites like YouTube and Facebook to pretend to be against bullying. They respond to anyone who disagrees with them with ad hominem attacks and intimidation.

(( BETTER DRINK BLEACH ))

June 5, 2013

 

Kelly Kalogerakos is a 26 year old tumblr poser who likes to cosplay as Princess Bubblegum from Adventure Time. Normally, ED wouldn't give a shit about some random tween with small pointy tits but once it was disclosed that she posed nude for cosplay deviants (Despite the two used condoms in her chest she calls tits), she got our attention. In response to realizing her social blunder, she then denied that she was a whore. After realizing all that was pointless in the face of the all of the screen-caps evidence added to this article, she turned all righteous and virtuous and started acting as though being a whore was somehow an aspiration.

(( IT'S MY LEGAL NAME AND I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF THE PAGE COULD BE REMOVED ))