Khimeros

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigationJump to search

Khimeros is a crappy Wajas / pokemon / Neopets knock-off where middle-aged women and prepubescents go to breed MOAR REALZ sparkle animals. The site is run by a retarded furfag named Onyx who refuses to pay her artists or coders. The site will flop any day now due to Onyx's inept management.

About the site

File:Khimeros Dog Thing.png
Arabasti - Very original.
File:Lin high.jpg
This furry is high as a kite.

Breeding sparkledogs: a novel concept

The "point" of Khimeros is to breed colorful pixel animals until your eyes begin to scream, provided you don't hit your "Lair"'s limit of 200 ways to slaughter someone's retinas. This limit can be upped by paying real money for more opportunities to make God cry. Obsessive hoarders willingly pay $50 or more for fancy recolors of the exact same art and think nothing of paying for clones of their fursonas.

What Not to Do

You are NOT ALLOWED to say you are bored in chat whatsoever or Onyx's staff will berate you incessantly. Onyx however has expressed her boredom herself, violating her own TOS. Everyone within the chat is too scared by her supreme faggotry to say anything, or else they may lose their Mod status or lose out on potentially being useful enough to become a Mod. The more you spend on the site, the more she will talk to you, otherwise, you are pretty much worthless.

You are also only allowed to conduct trades in the chat when the "Trade Post" is open, except Onyx who can trade in chat whenever she wants.

You are never allowed to disagree with Onyx. If you have any complaints or disagree in any way, you are better off talking to a wall. Onyx will only complain about how users don't understand that the site takes money to run if you say ANYTHING she doesn't agree with.

Drama and BAWWW

Theft, Fraud and Wank

File:Beads.png
Only $1 each.

Like most breeding sim games, Khimeros has a currency that people purchase with real money to buy $50 pixels and items that can only be bought through the "cash shop", such as a +1 shirt of Fail. For Khimeros, this currency is called "beads", and like all other sites with this concept Khimeros has had issues with beads and the concept of the "cash shop".

When beads first made their debut, they were sold as a "Strand"; ten beads per $5, or two beads per dollar. Not long after, Onyx decided that it would be perfectly okay to change the bead price from fifty cents each to a dollar each and cut every player's bead stash in half, regardless of how they got them (either by purchase or from other users), and regardless of the fact that fucking with something someone has already purchased is illegal. The reason? Apparently the average fantard can't count.

When confronted about the issue, Onyx claimed that it would all equal out, since she also cut the prices of customs in half, which supposedly means players "have as much as they did before"... And since she's the admin, she can do as she pleases. Onyx, not understanding the concept of getting what one pays for, went on to claim that despite being listed as a "strand of ten", people payed $5 worth, and that is what they still had. Of course Onyx objected to being a thief.

The Name Games

[[Image:Flax_face-1.png|right|OMG CLEVAR. Like most SIM sites, the staff tends to consider itself family. And like all families, the staff tends to have moments of complete idiocy. In other words, they decided to act like mentally fucked-up five-year-olds|they're awesome.

Onyx, deciding that people were complaining] too much about the item "Flax" being typo'd as "flax", in an epic moment of intelligence and adminly responsibility renamed the item to '"your FACE"'. The epicness was so overwhelming that brains came out of everyone's nose and they ate more babies to celebrate.

Not long after, after telling new site members that it wasn't possible to change their usernames and log-in information, Onyx and her friends had a lively romp in the chatroom, in which Onyx changed the usernames of staff of older members. When newer members and those not deemed as worthy became confused and wondered why they couldn't get their own names changed, Onyx decided to bless people with an item that could change their usernames...for a price, of course.

The Admin

[[Image:onyx.png|thumb|left|It's a rock, not a Pokemon. Lzrs. ]]

File:Onyxteashoppe.png
"Tea is only for the elite.Yeshmmmm..."
File:Onyxlovesanimals.png
Proof that Onyx loves her animals. MMMM.
File:Susps.png
"News post before Onyx changed it. June 8th"


Onyx is a decrepit yiffing furfag from Vancouver who enjoys turning everyone into hippie treefuckers. The idea of this OMG ORIGINAL site was spawned when its zoophilic fantasies were going completely unfulfilled by Wajas. As a result, it decided it was going to throw together a website that was ZOMG MOAR SPESHULER and had actual human avatars, to leave the option of dogfucking with human characters wide open as a possible roleplay option within the canon of the Khimeros storyline.

Onyx has art made as she gets new in real life pets. This is how she gets her ideas. She claims to be running an original site but in reality she is using it to project her zoophiliac love that is not all that original when it comes to pet sites.

She thinks she is SO ORIGINAL that if any other site produces a similar item she see's it as copying her ideas. If someone made an ocelot character that of which was not faggotly rainbow patterned you would be copying too. Despite bawwing about other sites copying her, she made a dragon called a Snapper that looks identical to Flight Rising's Snapper dragon. She didn't even bother to name it differently.

She promises a myriad of new things to come, but is currently working on her endless new sites that continue to fail - see below. If it doesn't make an immediate profit, she won't release any new things. When she really needs money she does "Flash Sales" supposedly to help out the users overseas with inflation. It's a transparent effort to make a quick buck by ruining what little economy Khimeros has. She is a poor manager at best blowing all her money at once rather than investing in her site for long term success. It's hilarious to watch this creatin run her site into the ground.

One of the other things Onyx excels in is using people. It has been many times seen with every new staff member that she acts like a best buddy when someone is useful to her, and as soon as they live past their usefulness, she will treat them as scum who are not worthy to take up her OMG SO PRECIOUS time. She loves them, uses and abuses them, them dumps them with nothing but the title and very irregular BEAD PAY.

Onyx is known to "take her ball and leave" if you upset her about anything. If you disagree or complain about anything on the site, she will call you spoiled and bitch about how much money the site takes to run, even though we all know the money goes to fund her poor financial decisions. She bought a used RV and ended up wasting so much money on it because it was in such poor condition. She never got it professionally inspected and in the end, she and her hump-buddy brother had to abandon it because it was so bad. She then bought land and talks about building a house on it with horses and lots of animals to fuck.

Onyx has said in the chat that she believes her dead cat, Neko has taken over the body of her currently living cat to continue be with her. "I don't expect anyone to understand," she went on as she described how at the death of her previous feline buddy, her new cat began acting differently just like her old cat! Amazing! With the power to reach beyond death, this poor animal is now forced to endure Onyx's molestation for all eternity.

More on staff pay: Staff are only given 20 beads once a month (On extremely regular dates I might add... jk!) for their "hard" work while Onyx is busy rubbing one out on her coder's face. These 20 beads can buy staff one custom first generation pet or they can blow it on very few cash shop items that have different rarities distributed. It takes the average person $40+ USD to acquire every item, while the owner simply puts the items she wants in her inventory for free. On top of the shitty pay, staff also get habitually shut down in chat and bullied. Why anyone would want to be staff is beyond even God.

Onyx really enjoys expressing how butthurt she is in the chat when she see's people ranting about her fantasy bestiality website. She epically fails in acting like it doesn't bother her, but in reality she is crying while sucking her thumb for comfort, as she pretends to be her rainbow ocelot fursona.

If you bring up how much of a ripoff her website is she will shove server costs in your face and then sick her staff, or users whom suck-up on your ass, and from there you will become a total outcast because it's considered BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWING.

Her favorite chat face is >___________________> which is an obvious sign of irritation or dislike for you. Be careful when you see this face, it can mean; a ban is coming or she is planning to fingerbang your dog.

Onyx released what she calls "Roleplay Communities". This was a scam which she had hoped would draw everyone from Wajas onto Khimeros. This was an epic fail further proving that Onyx is a raunchy snatch. When it didn't go the way she wanted she decided to whine about it in chat like everything else complaining that users asked for this (they never did) but didn't want to use it. Probably because it cost money monthly to make a stupid board you could have for free on any other roleplaying site!

Onyx has some sort of back disorder and a love for the game coder Pyro who publicly denied her when she attempted to e-rape his nuts. She was denied due to her becoming a fat fucking whore in front of the computer, because she can not do even the simplest of IRL tasks. She has stressed that her back disorder is from getting nailed by a horse from a petting zoo nearby her duplex, even though talking about anything of an explicitly sexual nature is against the overlord's rules.


The Staff

The Moderators are too elite for anyone else with their purple faces. The other members weep wishing they could be so awesome but they know they never can amount to the bag of shit these users are.

  • TrinkaPuppy will just sic her pythons on you, and since these pythons are often used similarly to Kimera's rats. She is a fat whale with nothing going for her. Trinka tends to conform to those around her and twist her stories. She gets annoyed when others exaggerate their storytelling and whatever the fuck, but hypocritically does the same thing. She has thankfully vanished from the site for the past few months.
  • LizBlackDog is the HARDCORE Mod for when battling comes out, she plays the part well by cussing like a sailor and acting like a hideously fat rhino on steroids.
  • Angelic Ophelia is the staff that is hardly noticed and tries too hard, she thinks she is a sparkling vampire.
  • Twi basically runs the site because Onyx is too lazy to do anything herself. She is a middle aged woman who refuses to show pictures of herself, everyone knows for quite obvious reasons it is because she is a fatass hermit. She does some site art that is not even that good, and for the most part parks her ugly donkey ass in the chat room blurting comments that no one responds to. You would think she would catch on.
  • Wild Rose is the single most useless moderator on the whole site. It's unclear what, if anything, she actually does. Apparently she is some kind of personal friend of Onyx IRL, ever since they ran a dog prostitution ring in Onyx's basement and fucked golden retriever puppies together. Wild Rose shamelessly uses Khimeros to sell copies of her crappy fake published Lulu book that if you were not a total dumbass, you could read for free on her lame website, though why you would EVER want to read the shitty fantasy puke-inducing crap is beyond anyone. Anyone with a brain anyway, which clearly anyone who would be on Khimeros DOES NOT possess. So whatever.
  • Hibbary might be the only one with any talent on the site, however she is too stupid to realize she is being used by Onyx. She hasn't gotten paid for all the art she has done and is repeatedly coping out of doing real art on gold customs. The users drool over her every word and move. She suggested a Bad Dragon event that the users freaked out over so that she could finally get paid for some of her work. Onyx, jealous of all the money Hibbary made tried to make the event a monthly thing until the users freaked out about being sucked dry.
  • Trippy is a money whore who was previously banned for cheating on the site. Now Onyx uses her for art since the other site artists have run screaming.

Ex Staff

  • Pony A Heterosexual guy named Pony? Clearly this person enjoys having a good butt romping done to him... preferably by something of the equine persuasion. Also, since he's a mod you can't argue with him! He starts arguments and will test you to see if you argue back! WHY? do you ask?! Because he has no real life and he, being fat, makes him angry! Though originally he'd take out his anger on Lop (his girlfriends or whatever)and beat the shit out of her, but to our surprise hes too big of a pussy to fight her in fear of getting hurt from his battles! He won't show his real self because of all the bruises on his face!
  • LotS(A.K.A Lady of the Sea) pulls out her Chatwhip if you enter without bowing. She plays the role of most important Mod, and most strict. With this skill she is able to inflict some real serious business that makes her a real power hungry twat machine. She claims to take her khimeros staff duties as SOOPER SRS BZNZZ! And yet in chat she can more commonly be seen bitching about her many health problems than Khimeros related situations. With almost no prompting she will begin said complaining until everyone is so sick of it they either leave chat or commit suicide. She takes high offense to anything written about her and gets upset at the slightest insult. When you talk to her about anything that has nothing to to with Khimeros she likes to shove her opinions down your throat by saying you can't argue with her because she is a "mod".
  • Away is the innocent one, the mod that is Onyx's current favorite and pet because she is presently sort of useful in helping her create her next furfag fantasy site, Aluriya. She has since moved onto Aluriya as head mod. Promotion or demotion? You decide.
  • Bella is the spoiled brat of the team, who demands to have one of everything and is well known for BAWWWWW tantrums in chat... also LOVES to spread her furry love around. Rumor has it that when she first joined she was under 13, and may still be now, not that her precious "Onyx" would believe it.
  • Coyote is so thick that you can insult her to her face and laugh as she fails to understand you... how this person ever became a mod is a wonder to all on the site. Thankfully isn't a mod anymore.
  • Kimera - Previously known as Onyx's attack dog, she's a snarky bitch who loves to tear into people when they aren't looking, or openly when her mistress Onyx commands it so. She owns rats and is more commonly known as "Rat Woman" due to her sensational love for them. She mass breeds them to sell to those who desire to have them inserted into their anus, she too participating. She is said to be making a great deal of money from this venture... apparently making more than Onyx is currently making from Khimeros!
  • Nasire - Laziest, one of the whiniest coders in history... has been known to admittedly pull big sections of her own furry glorification site's coding and shove them into Khimeros when she can't be bothered to code things PROPERLY... you know... like she's PAID to do... (A fact Onyx LOVES to bawww about when her precious coder goes missing.) Onyx does especially favor her coder despite her absent mindedness and total retardation. This coder apparently is a software engineer but her skills say otherwise. Something extremely simplistic can take this coder three weeks to a month to complete despite Khimeros being her full time job. She bailed out after getting fed up with Onyx.
  • Wisu - The coder hired after Nas. She convinced Onyx to run the site her way then bailed out as well after realizing that working for Onyx is worse than living at Auschwitz.
  • Karos - Karos lasted the least amount of time of all the coders. He couldn't tolerate Onyx's furfaggotry and peaced out when he "got a new job" at the most a year into this position.
  • Crash - The pregnant, moody one who is complaining every day about the new little furfag she's going to pop into the world in a few months, but on the bright side she seems to have used it as an excuse to stop paying Khimeros any attention... maybe she's just smart enough to see a sinking ship when there is one!


Khimeros Fanbrats Followers

 
If only any user was as useful as this flying rat.

The typical Khimeros user is an awesome, animu-obsessed, illiterate inbred who probably has inclinations towards durtaggotry and are easily corruptible. Many of them are utterly spineless brass kissers and cocksuckers who will say anything to get into Onyx's good graces. By no small coincidence, the bulk of them are users who seem to be under 12, which works out as purely ideal for Onyx and her "personal tastes".

Those who can't get in or get frozen like to whine on other sites and claim they are too good to buy virtual currency. Every single member has dyslexia and gets offended by everything. They are all uber touchy to the max. If you offend them, they will loudly let you know and you'll never hear the end of their OFFENSE.

The Fagbrats

  • Miss Mossy is a pre-teen wannabe "emo" who only showers once a month and never brushes her hair. Her stinky ass can be found in chat complaining about every thing she happens to lay eyes on, she never seems to be happy.
  • Chase is an adolescent Asian who claims to be a troll and love trolling. Trolling is against Khimeros TOS but everyone knows that this person is a lying Arab seeking recognition by the more dominant color, so everyone ignores the fact that Chase is borderline mentally retarded Asian and accepts them for their trolling failure.
  • Soleil Also wants to be a mod so she can spend even more time sucking Onyx's cock, unfortunately she is not furry, talented or literate enough to give Onyx the all important hard on for her, and therefore she cannot rise to the level of the staff.
  • Silvered Fox sits on the computer all day long while she struggles to make an income by making furfag attire.
  • FairyEyez sits and waits in the chatroom hoping to be recognized someday, to be blessed with a purple Mod name.
  • Khuriya is like the secondary attack dog to Onyx. When Kimera is busy putting rats in her ass, Khuriya takes their place.
  • Lop is Pony's obese girlfriend but everyone knows she is the same person, and there is no denying that Lop is really Pony's sex horse.
  • Coral Rain used to hang out on Khimeros a lot until she was made fun of too hardcore that she never came back. She dreamed of becoming a Mod and helping people with their CSS needs, when she herself couldn't even construct slightly clean code.
  • Hitsuji is also known for baawing. They sold what they described as their most prized pets on Khimeros. They went on hiatus once doing this only to return and pour their heart about their idiocy in the chat room. Onyx was immediately at their side claiming that she would help Hitsuji get his pets back. Would Onyx have done this for her site users, the site she claims to love and care about so much? No! Friends only, gtfo. Shortly after their loss they began nagging about becoming a Mod. They were never Modded but are now a "Roleplay Moderator", which is a basic user with privileges that are hardly worth having.
  • Shadowedblood is yet another fatass that spends her time chatting it up. She claims to be going to school for her software engineer degree or some shit like that. Funny thing is this was never mentioned until she knew that the Khimeros coder had a degree in this field(Which is highly doubted that Nasire, the site coder, does in fact have a real degree). Shadowedblood will go on about coding whenever it is mentioned, but she is really an incompetent underaged dumbass.
  • KetSabi (Ket) is an anorexic alcoholic freak and secretly has four kids! She claims to be 100LBS but we all know she edits all of her pictures to make her look like a twig! She's actually 300LBS! She's able to speak about her illegal love life freely and nobody saying something about it! But once she says she took a drink of a Margarita she gets yelled at by her enemy Pony! They will go as far as ignoring each others existence on Chat to trying to get each other kicked off. Fun times. She is also so pathetic that she had to add herself to this page because no one else pays enough attention to her to add her. How pathetic is it that she had to put herself in? She is also too stupid to realize that no one believes her lies in the chat and mostly everyone ignores her. Tis sad.
  • Wolfie is a manatee of a person who posts pictures of her and her hideous kids all over khimeros. Her husband is a "coder" who makes porn websites and she is a lazy slob who plays khimeros every day. She habitually kills chat by complaining about her shitty kids. Worst Parent of the Year award goes to her every single year. We can't wait to see her children hit puberty and kill themselves or run away to get away from this bitch.
  • Sandfeather is a hefty cow who spends her time complaining about how poor she is but spending as much money as she can on sparkle pets. She hates homeless people and her abusive mother but is not so secretly terrified of both.
  • Ares rage quit after her crappy art was ignored and she didn't get what she wanted from one of the events. Of course she returned soon enough to spend money on more fuck pets. Spending hundreds to get Onyx's attention has unfortunately failed as Onyx favors the less idiotic of her big spenders.
  • Laevateinn is the biggest wannabee loser on the site. When she isn't brown nosing and trying to be a mod, she is bragging about the ugly pets she makes. When everyone was disappointed by the failure of an April Fools event in 2015 because Onyx can't keep a coder, she was the first to jerk off Onyx and make a post about what an awesome event it was. A few more good strokes and this moron will be part of the staff too.
  • WolfHhowling is a mentally retarded girl who pretends to be a boy. She spends all her time bragging about her precious girlfriend, misspelling almost every word that she excretes. When she isn't bragging about her imaginary friends, she is masterbating in chat to the more popular users.

Other Fail Sites

Onyx has the amazing ability to start many projects without finishing them, taking from her main site and thinning the funds and userbase to other half assed ideas. Introducing her amazing fails in chronological order:

Aluriya

Onyx hopes to steal more money and bankrupt her fellow furtags. The site was designed by CHASE and AWAY of Khimeros, who's knowledge of Web Design does not surpass the usage of scroll box's. These two are useful to Onyx because they will bow to her mighty faggotry and get free admission into Aluyria simply by providing their animals for Onyx to bang. Onyx's knowledge of anything but animal sex and yiff leads her to be amazed by even the shittiest things she is shown. That and she does not have to pay them any real $$$, as she would rather spend that on her next months animalsex.com subscription.

Chase and Away are guttertwat's in training. It is foretold that in order for them to one day reign supreme they must get whore hutt tucked in by Onyx's trusty strap on cock, that of which was custom made to resemble her rainbow ocelots dick. Rumor has it that they have accepted these stipulations.

Last Thursday Aluriya.com went live and in alpha and costs $15 dirty dollars to get an account with shitty customs costing $20 and custom customs costing anywhere upwards of $100 from a shit overpriced artist.

We all know that Onyx is very good at coping other sites. If you were tired of Aywas and Digis you can play Aluriya now. It's the same exact thing only with Hibbary artwork slapped on top. Even better, Onyx is such an awesome administrator that she left ALL of her image folders open for you to download all her content! Ever wonder how their images work? Well, now you can download all the files and piece them together on your own site.

Content includes, but not limited to, NPCs, human characters, concept sketches and upcoming species. Why spend the money to see what the site is about when you can just go through all their folders?

Serafel

Notorious for coming up with lame ideas that are fawned over by her fanbrats in chat, Onyx intended to stretch her already meager earnings over another shitty site. Yet another failed attempt to make a site, this time with with Wisu, it never even got past proboards. Wisu convinced Onyx to do a whole bunch of shitty features no one wanted and then bailed on the project when she realized it wasn't going to be successful. The sneak peak site was made and quickly abandoned by all the users when they realized this site will never come to fruition. More furfags and furry avatars, this was never going to be an interesting site.

Teripets

Onyx stupidly wasted more money purchasing Teripets and then artist drama beat her into submission. She spent all kinds of money making pets for this lame old site that will not be used in the end. Yet another failed site and attempt to suck her already meager user base dry of all funds, it failed to get the hype it needed to start up and was plagued by leeches looking to cut their share of the profits before it even began. Instead of standing her ground, Onyx buckled under the pressure and cowered back to Khimeros where the users worship her.

Inkheart

Still a work in progress, this is Onyx's fifth pet porn site attempt. Basically Khimeros in a different art style, Onyx again fails to capture a new user base and just spreads her current one thinner and thinner. Only time will tell exactly when it will fail since Onyx cannot manage to keep a coder for her site.

See Also

External Links

Khimeros
is part of a Series on
Cyberpets

Pets:

AywasMyAdoptsDragon CaveFurry PawsKhimerosNeopetsPsyPetsRikopetsTamagotchiSubetaWajas

Related Crap:
DigimonPokémonPsypetsSparkledogsSpore

 
 

Khimeros is part of a series on

Furfaggotry

Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage.

 

Khimeros is part of a series on

Gaming

Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.