Italian Spiderman

Italian Spiderman is about some masked, horny, fat guido who totally pwns balls. When he doesn't know what to do, he'll just blow the shit out of everything in order to solve the problem (just like irl). Many random battles happen throughout the movie which make no sense but kick ass. The most lethal weapon that he has is his mustache. One thing to remember is that Italian Spiderman always gets all the girls in the end because he is just that sexy. This movie may be one of the best movies ever made.

Plot

Don't fuck with Italian Spiderman.

In the beginning, Italian Spiderman goes batshit insane after the villain, Captain Maximum, beats him at blackjack, pwning everyone in the room with his boomstick. He then hauls ass out of the building and jumps off the top of the roof to become an hero. But, holy shit, it was just a rouse and he drives away on his motorcycle smoking a cigarette. In the meantime, a meteor falls from outer space and crashes outside of a awesome party where some respectable youngsters and their scientist friend find it. The scientist grabs it to do experiments on it. He finds that the solution that comes out of it can fucking clone people.

Captain Maximum, the masked douchebag, tries to get the meteor, but fails against Italian Spiderman's sheer cool. So, he goes after him on his motorcycle to get the briefcase. Using his snake powers and malicious ways, he hits our hero with a gang attack and makes him trip balls on his gas of doom. Italian Spiderman later wakes up on a tropical beach of evil. Captain Maximum challenges him to a surf-off, but the dastardly bastard cheats, using his hired whores to attack Italian Spiderman with their kung-fu-scuba-skills. Luckily our hero summons the PENGUINI and whomps all their asses, escaping with the briefcase.

Italian Spiderman gets captured again, after Maximum sets a trap for him and his woman, and is brought to his fortress of evil. Maximum gets his henchmen pumped with the cloning serum from the meteor, and cold-bloodidly shoots the old scientist over 10 times with a magnum. Italian Spiderman enters rage mode, escapes with his woman , totally fucks a bunch of henchmen up with mustache power and finishes off Captain Maximum. Italian Spiderman then returns home and fucks the shit out of his woman. The End.

As you can see, this movie is the pinnacle of awesome and you're not a human if you don't watch it straight away.

Teh Weapons

All of his weapons miraculously never run out of ammo until he has killed the amount of people he wanted, or he just doesn't want the guns anymore.

Italian Spiderman is as fuckwin awesome as Nakedman.

Remington 870 - Cleans rooms full of noobs in under 30 seconds. As shown in the first episode, his boomstick pwns everyone.
Beretta 92FS - Italian Spiderman can shoot and kill snipers that are miles away from him with just this.
Conch Shell - Calls for killer "PENGUINI" to attack hot chicks in scuba/bathing suits.
Hands - Great for hitting women and putting them in their place. The hands are powerful enough to punch off limbs too.
Aerosol spray and Lighter - Italian Spiderman uses this during a snake encounter to defeat Captain Maximum's pets. He's kinda Macgyver but much much better.
Mustache - An overload of win that is thrown at an enemy like a boomerang of death. The henchmen are owned by it because of the hazardous amounts of fail that they contain.