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Deceased Wikipedians
The Deceased Wikipedians page on Wikipedia is TOW's memorial to those that worked so hard on editing the wiki, that due to mental exhaustion as a result of writing too many featured articles, their physical bodies just gave up on them. (Or, more likely, they were bullied. Wikipedia loves its bullies.)
Many Deceased Wikipedos were experts in their subject field, and many of them came from all walks of life, and from many different places around the world. The one thing they had in common, however, was the ability to please King Jimbo and his cash cow, the Wikimedia Foundation. While they spent their last days seriously ill on recent changes patrol instead of with their friends and family, Jimbo was out slaying the newest head of the dragon that is his endless sex drive, which just keeps growing moar and moar heads and breathing fire like the oven in which these nazi Wikipedos' remains are being charred, BBQd in wikipedo hell.
Causes of Deceased Wikipedians
No normal website would have such a high rate of death amongst its userbase. This could be because many of its users are relatively old in comparison with the 16-year-old girls who use social networking sites, but a more widely accepted theory has strong evidence that Wikipedia admins are the ones that are causing people to die suddenly due to stress. They also give them the shits, so that they died while on the toilet.
Since Wikipedo admins are often 13-year-old boys, due to their teenage angst they like to disrespect those with more knowledge than them, thus it is no coincidence that TOW loses experts rather than vandals. These experts often climbed back into their hugbox when blocked for violating 3RR and writing original research and using unreliable sources, by users like Sceptre and Ryulong, and some of them never made it back out alive. It is thought that the Bureaucratic Fucks communicated by email to get Sceptre removed from his adminship position for this reason. However, Sceptre himself has also recently admitted several times to being 'ill', so we could yet see Sceptre become a Deceased Wikipedian in the near future.
However, all Wikipedos are mortal, and within a period of time, there will be over 9000 Wikipedos listed there, and not a single one of them with any article about them on Wikipedia. Work like a slave; die like a slave!
Also, being dead is a blockable offence on Wikipedia! Furthermore, simply threatening to off yourself is grounds for an indefinite block.
Deceased Encyclopedia Dramaticans
There is currently not a "Deceased Encyclopedia Dramaticans" page. However there is broad consensus that any EDiot who died would instantly get an article here, and it would be frontpaged immediately upon hearing the news. A memorial to any dead æ contributor would surely be the best thing one could wish for, because most NORPs and breeders die and are forgotten to the universe eternally (because we know atheism is true), with their corpses rotting in a grave, but you could have eternal lulz in the afterlife as we party hard once you have become an hero. Do it faggot.
Latest reports suggest that Drunkenlazybastard is the most likely candidate to die soon of all ED users. Since he is a drug user and a faggot, the chances of becoming infected with AIDS are statistically much higher for him than the rest of us.
Jeffpw
Last Thursday the homosexual Wikipedia editor Jeffpw died, although it is not fully known what the cause of death was. Jeffpw was involved with the LGBT WikiProject and until his dying day campaigned for the rights of homosexuals in Iran. A post at the administrators' noticeboard suggested that it might be appropriate to add him to the list.
It is believed that Jeff died not long after his gay lover Isaac died. Seriously. There's photos of themselves on Wikipedia and everything. Isaac died in late June. Jeff died just a few days ago. It is believed that he became an hero after Isaac's death from AIDS.
Encyclopedia Dramatica is going to inform Fred Phelps of this. Maybe. Plz to be adding other interesting cases like this to this page OK?
We also find it amusing that Jeff may be put onto the list, while the Anthrax Killer who edited Wikipedia will never be on the list. Proof.
Also, this very section of this Wikipedia article caused what we might term butthurt at this Wikipedia Review thread (only members can view). Amongst the lulzier quotes from the thread:
—Some Wikipedia Review poster. | ||
Cumulus Clouds
Clayton Taylor Olney who went by the username Cumulus Clouds is thought to be the first Wikipedian to go an hero. According to JarlaxleArtemis, he killed himself by shooting himself in the anus. He was 25 years old, and a college student who lived with his parents. He contributed a load of extremely interesting articles dealing with very important issues and uploaded his own pics to Wikimedia Commons.
Then he was repeatedly fistfucked by a cuntboy called 
Banime and his socks, who basically bullied Cum into an-heroism. Banime even has the eggs to report him to Checkuser for "socking", which Banime himself was doing on that very page. Moar info can be found here and here.
JPatrickBedell
John Patrick Bedell, known on Wikipedia as JPatrickBedell was a middle-aged computer programmer and editor of pages about conspiracy theories at TOW. He was devoted to the 9/11 "truth" movement, suffered from bipolar disorder and had an unlimited supply of marijuana grown in his own basement. This were probably contributing factors to his attempt at taking down The Man on the 4th of March 2010. With his 2 9mm's plus extra clips he went to Pentagon, at a checkpoint he threw a couple of shots at some officers which reacted by pwning him with a headshot. The police officers were out of the hospital the morning after, John ended in the morgue and the hall of shame with a score of 0.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2010_Pentagon_shooting
AaronSw
Moar info: Aaron Swartz.
March 2012 saw the suicide by belt of Aaron Swartz, known on Wikipedia as AaronSw. Swartz had been persuaded to participate in lemonparties by the Wikipedos, who brainwashed him with their pedophilic bullshit. It is widely speculated that it wasn't only JSTOR documents he downloaded from MIT that day.
Kaynbred / Blarvink
Moar info: Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre.
Moar info: Adam Lanza.
Adam Lanza didn't touch Wikipedia often, but when he did, he revised articles on his favorite obsession: shootings.
Jackson Peebles
In October 2013, 
Peebles Jackson Peebles was laid to rest. His last act before suiciding was to apply a welcome template to Grawp's IP talkpage, and to 
deny involvement with Alaskan politics.
See also
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Deceased Wikipedians is part of a series on Visit the Wikipedia Portal for complete coverage. |
