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AtWar

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AtWar is an online rip-off of Risk where you very realistically start with a country like Uzbekistan or Canada and take over fucking everything. The game features such prominent players as Gardevoir, Zizou and HUEHUEHUEHUE. Other common names are Hitler and anything else to do with Nazis.

Community

 

As mentioned before, the AtWar community is made up of a bunch of faggots and at least 100 neo-Nazis. Among these are Jews, Serbs, Turks, and grown men, but despite this terrible mix within the community they all managed to come together for great justice to eliminate all the bronies through genocide. When the mods discovered this genocide, they sadly put an end to it. The small minority of people who are below the age of 35 are very cool and edgy because they are commies that can make their countries in UN games communist.

AtWar has a shitty playerbase, how it has kept itself together for so long itself is the 8th wonder of the world, which is ironic since the game is essentially about war, fucking over people, and aligning with people. Some people seem to have a sense of humor, while others don't.


Oldfags "Afterwinders"

 
Zizou is good at the maths
  • Zizou - The god of AtWar (srsly). Zizou is some Italian fucktard who has his own church dedicated to him. It is estimated that he got at least 100% of his SP from latejoining and whatever he didn't get from that was from playing dead. Avoid at all costs.
  • TopHats - Highest ranked player and awarded with the least amount of life on AtWar. Canadian. TopHats has tons of alts of which are in practically every coalition because he is a master spy. He considers himself #1 in everything even though all he does is farm SP.
  • Mauzer Panteri - Fat, retarded, Serbian asshole who is ranked 4th best yet is actually a really shitty player. Confirmed basement dweller. Call him Turkish if you want to troll him.
  • Gardevoir - A.K.A Atlos, Joyeuse, Durendal, Atticus, Dolan, #EricManstein, Shiny Gardevoir, Gardevoirr, Ketzer, and over 9000 other retarded names. Emotionally unstable, big alt spammer and name hopper, has *quit* the game more times than he has claimed to take the cock. Probably the largest faggot of all times, and is AtWar's official emo-faggot.The slayer of Vafika, inventor of cockblocking, and extreme autist cartographer. Also a Volgan riverboat captain.
  • Fruit - Citizen of the Czech Republic, Fruit enjoys stalking the forum and jerking off when he finds a female players post.
  • Aristosseur - Founder of Empire SRB (Solunae Penticus, Byzatnia), and greek sand nigger. CYAN STRONG.
  • Ironail - President of Ghana and extreme troll.
  • VAG|NEER - AtWar's official token nigger.
  • Hawk - rape.
  • Roncho - : )
  • Emir Timur - Jew and username hopper with a fetish for Timur the Lame.
  • Tik-Tok - Neo-Nazi douchebag that owns all of the WWII maps. Second official god of AtWar, as requested by Gardevoir, and by the will of *Meester (seen here:[1]).
  • Avatar - 12 year old bugger that lost all his family to a kebab bombing, he likes to expend his time fapping in the room chat and calling random people homo. He lives in Macedonia, a small and shitty country that Tito made up during the cold war to piss off Greeks and Bulgarians.
  • AlexMeza - Fucking Shit-Skin from Paraguay that lives in the jungle and works in a paper faction to pay his debts in Bolivia.
  • Death1812 - Faggot with down syndrome, got lost in his uncle's house, anally violated by his uncle and his real father. "He won't remember, he's a downy". Currently on a quest of redemption (farming sp because he is a fat-ass with no friends) in order to overcome his obsession with jizzing onto others, due to swallowing his potential siblings. Make sure to send him picture of a family member.
  • LilD - Official rapper of AtWar (is actually a Wigger and 12 year old boy). Flippin beds niqqa dont hate.
  • HeyI - ...Nazi?
  • clovis1122 - Still likes Yu-Gi-Ohes, likely harassing his mother for the latest expansions.
  • panteri - Forever alone no-lifer that lives in Kebabland, faps on his kebab-toy and gets butthurt on every mention of Kurdistan and Armenia. Just tell him you support Kurdistan if you want to get him totally butthurt.

New-fags "Atwarians"

 
Ezzatam
  • Andartes - Titos's Buttbudy until both got herpies.
  • Unleashed - Bipolar dillweed who believes he is the greatest player in the history of AtWar. Will go crazy at the slightest sign of disrespect. Got muted for a period of approximately 10 years.
  • Aetius - AtWar's nerd who makes oversized maps to prove his worth so we don't take his lunch money. He is a pothead and he damn well knows it. Skis in his free time.
  • Utah - A 7 year old frustrated youtuber and Mormon who can't even spell raptor right and founded the League of Evil, otherwise known as the Cartography Society. It has since been taken over by the Neo-Nazi douchebag above, Utah is reportedly still trapped in Tik's dungeon trying to pass his first communion test after he was kicked from the Mormom Brotherhood for being autistic.
  • Charlie Chaplin - Biggest Troll, Anarchist, Faggot (literally), that you will ever meet. Prepare your anus for 3 hours of a debate composed of: "Dogs fuck dudes, therefore being a faggot is natural,Nevertheless Pedophile Dogs have a mental disease".
  • Talos - An actually good person surrounded by dicks. He is worshiped by cartographers, you can't tell them who to love.
  • Ezzatam - Autismus Maximus. He pretty much pisses off everyone on the forums who actually know how to draw maps because his MEGAmap series is shit yet he thinks it is the greatest idea and creation on earth. He is thought to be inspiring for some map makers, but realistically they all end up doing a better job than he did and never actually gave a shit about his maps.
  • Adolf Hitler - About half the people on this shitty game name themselves some variation of this.
  • Tunder3 - Scheming kike, troll, asshole known for spamming forums with hate. Great in-game troll, and is know for doing some stupid and random strategic moves that come out of his ass. Beaner, Mexican who migrated with his family to the USA and now live of welfare. Supports RP in a bid to suck mod cock and become a mod himself.
  • Cpt. Magic - Creator of the most autistic part of AtWar (See below)
  • Guerilla - Is the name of a Fucktard with a jungle in his vagina and is well know for being tunder's little bitch.
  • theFuehrer - This idiot thinks the earth is flat
  • Valetorious - Pyrruh's cumbucket.
  • Pyrrhus - Unstable guy who masturbates while butchering squirrels in his free time.
  • Viruslegion - Retarded kid who thinks he is a neo-nazi.
  • Londs22 - Anchor baby who thinks he is British.
  • Trismagestus - Somalian immigrant living in Canada, sells corn for a living.
  • Zephyrusu - A 12 year old broke Greek who plays atwar from a library.
  • Civecnavi - Cancerous Slav who indulges in being proud of his nothing.
  • Holy Pheonix - A whale living among us. Weeaboo and 'XD' spammer.
  • Lord Zeus - Inbred Albanian Gheg.
  • Nifty - This stupid chink behaves as if he was the 2nd coming of Caesar.
  • Darkmace - A more annoying version of Clovis

Mods

If you think that arresting Al Capone over a car ticket was something amazing, just wait until one of this fuckers permaban your ass for no reason, shortly they will justify it with a rule that they made up on the spot.

  • Meester - Vietnamese Moderator and devout worshipper of the almighty and glorious Tik-Tok.
  • Vril - Secretay of the punishment deparment.
  • Columna Durruti - Chill, laid-back Brasilian. Leader of Inglourious Basterds and the best Moderator.
  • e Mare - if you think vril was bad, wait until you meet this asshole.

Map making

 
Left side is "art" and right side is "autism". Realistically the left side is made by some OCD Aspie who is obsessed with map making. Right side is still autism and made by Ezzatam.

Two types of people lurk in this area. There are the gay artists who spend 5 minutes on each pixel so it will look fabulous and the most autistic people in the game. People like to make maps in order to claim that they have made a masterpiece and thus can create OC despite hundreds WWII maps already being made. Some Jews make more than one. There is a special place in hell for people who leave in the first turns while playing a map/scenario.

Scenarios (Non-RP)

Believe it or not there actually exists maps/scenarios that aren't RP. These include:


  • The War To End All Wars by Aetius - The only scenario in atwar that can put retards of all the categories going from Asperger to down-syndrome in the same fucking place, this scenario got taken over by kebab.
  • UN Game by Satan - Terminal Cancer.
  • True World War II by Che - People still play this?
  • Zombie apocalypse by zombiekiller - This shitty scenario is literally a default map + a new unit (you guess right- zombies).
  • Game of Thrones Political Game 3.1 by Gall - When a fandom goes wrong... i don't know why noobs still play this scenario when there is better GoT scenarios out there.
  • The War of the Rings by Talos - Another shitty scenario made for a retarded fandom.
  • 7 Years War by Bellerophon- Another shitty hobo map, the creator of this map is a dildo-eater fat-ass who didn't even draw the borders of europe properly.
  • Colonial Empires by KnightTemplar2083 - Cheap off clone of GGG, you will never see anybody playing this.
  • Great Patriotic War by Serb - Do people never get tired of making cancerous maps? hopefully serb gets cancer and dies.
  • Ultimate Civil War by Aetius - this map should be in the trashbin along the aborted fetus of the map maker that made it.
  • God, Gold and Glory "GGG" by Tunder3 - This is literal cancer in a neatly packed box of shame.
  • King of the Hill by Tunder3 - The definition of autism.
  • Ultimate WW1 by Tik-Tok - Another shitty World War with no Nazis? Have these idiots ever read a history book?
  • Ultimate WWII by Tik-Tok - Oh making real maps now ol' chap. Anyway this has Nazis so do not play.
  • 13th Century by Basileus Utah II - If you are the kind of guy that likes to shave his ass off while playing with a 15 page toy store catalog, this is the place for you!
  • World War I by Meester - This is a cheap and lazy copy of ultimate ww2, but this does not contain Nazis therefore it is boring and should not be played.
  • 19th Century by Basileus Utah II - This map is literally 18th Century 1.5 with a greater level of autism and eye cancer, is well know that the creator of this scenario was shaving his ass with gardevoir's dick in order to finish this map.
  • Great Turkish War by Lingdao - Fucking kebabs.
  • 18th Century by Basileus Utah II - cheap ripoffs made by 12 year old in a chinese shithole
  • Cossacks Total War by Jihad - Oh this is cute, didn't know 5 year old babies are capable of drawing europe with crayons!.

Maps (Non-RP)

  • World Map by FuckifIknow - The original map of autism. Who would have thought that the admins could make worse borders than the cartographers.
  • Ancient World by Avatar - Literally the shittiest a map can get. Prepare to be disappointed.
  • EC's Ancient World by Talos and Basileus Utah II - A less derpish version of Ancient World with Africa income all over the place.
  • Europe atWar by ThomasMer - A massive map of Europe + the unique experience of playing as a color blind moron.
  • Battle for Middle Earth by Talos - Ew, fantasy.
  • A Song of Ice and Fire by Pulse - Wtf is this shit?
  • Battle for Middle Earth II by Talos - This fantasy shit just won't die. I want my Nazis and Spartans.
  • Medieval Europe 1150 by Primal - The blurriest shit I have ever seen. Wear your glasses.
  • Ultimate WWII Map by Tik-Tok - Is this even a playable map? You think this is a motherfucking game?
  • Epic Ancient World by Avatar - Avatar? Wat r u doin'? Avatar? Stahp.
  • Age of Empires by Perrydepwner - And then there's this asshole.
  • Greek World by Talos - Another Shitty Default world map copy.
  • A Game of Thrones by Pulse - Weren't we done with this fantasy bullshit. I ain't playing your Peter Pan shit.
  • Lunatis Aristocracy by Safari - Safari's fanfic porn that no one cares about.

For more shitty maps and scenarios check the trash bin of your local McDonald's. If it looks like shit it probably is.

UN Games

Besides the WWII maps, there are other types of maps called UN Games. In UN games, you sit for 5 hours doing nothing until someone puts a troop on your territory or attacks you, then you go batshit insane saying "OMG ROGUE!!!11!!111111111!" and calling the UN to help you before ragequitting when the UN does nothing, just like the real UN!. UN games were invented by Cpt. Magic as just an idea for a fun game. He sadly didn't realise the amount of AIDS, fail and retardation he was about to bring upon the poor people of AtWar. UN Games are very easy to troll, but beware, you might end up on somebodies enemy list and will not be allowed in their games! Then again, if you really care so much, just use an alt or a guest account.

   
“ 		 
ROGUE EEU
  		„
  		 

—Typical UN game

   
“ 		 
OMG UN DO SUMTHING UR A FUKING IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  		„
  		 

—Yet another typical UN game

   
“ 		 
I DECLARE WAR ON NEU
  		„
  		 

—This is what is supposed to happen but the people playing, and the UNs, are too pussy to actually have this happen

   
“ 		 
OMG NUKES U R ROGUE
  		„
  		 

—Someone getting trolled

Previous Quote | Next Quote


How to troll UN games:

There have, however, been attempts to end this madness. People have used the stated trolling methods to ruin games make games more fun. Some brave individuals have created threads denouncing UN games.

Premium

Some people actually pay for upgrades in this game. These upgrades include and are extremely limited to:

Why people buy this shit I don't even know.

Gameplay

 
The orange guy is shit out of luck
 
A typical AtWar alliance web

Gameplay in AtWar consists of allying everyone, growing your empire and then shitspamming one person with your friends. These players are very skillful and have mastered the art of AtWar. There are some players who choose not to ally anyone and fucking flatten everything until some skilled allyfaggot shitstorms him with tanks because he hasn't actually done anything with them the entire game.

How to troll games:

  • Ally everyone except one person
  • Play as an alt and kill all the self-centred fucks
  • Rogue UN
  • Rush someones cap
  • Pick right next to someone
  • First turn wallfuck
  • Tell people to leave to join a superior UN game
  • Shout on global that there is a WWII up and all the people leave their games and it doesn't actually exist
  • Call someone a fat idiot and talk about all your girlfriends
  • Link someone to this[2]
  • Or spinning jiggledick
  • Or the old Hello.jpg
  • Go up to any Turk and say you support Kurdistan
  • Leave on first turn. Bonus points in scenarios.
  • Betray someone
  • Latejoin

WW2

Church of Zizou

The story of Zizou's great journey through faggothood, as told by Froot. "from the depths(debts) of italy rose zizou, a smart child at one month old. Some say he latejoined out of his mother, got extra reinforcements in his brain and zerg rushed life itself. At the age of 2 he learned to crawl, this was his favorite strategy until the age of 5 when he learned to play video games. Video games wasn't as popular a strategy as it is now, but many people were loyal to it. When he got older he purchased his first computer with all the sp he saved up - this was to be the computer where history was made. He got right on and began looking for games - He found one, it was by the name of diplomacy that was played on a forum. He was master of this game, many people quit playing. He would join late and get all the victories; this gave him many SP in which he could purchase upgrades. On the first day of AW amok and ivan sat looking at their glorious creation, not knowing of the sheer power that it was destine for. Zizou with his triple screen computer(to latejoin 3 times) he bought with his SP created his account, not having the alias of zizou yet he thought of a name. The most glorious name was thought of, zizou. He was so happy to have gotten such a great name he jumped right into the game - He saw many other new players and amok and ivan as they taught the new players to play. Zizou knew best and was the strategy game master; He needed no tutorial! Zizou waited for these training games to start, and joined week 9 right next to their capital.

Zizou was known as the cyprus crusader. He lead the land for as long as he could..but the community rose up; they chose a false prophet by the name of ironail! Zizou saw this...he was angered "the damned fools" proclaimed zizou as he smashed his dinner his mother had just brought down to the basement. He cried out for his mother to bring more and called her an idiot, she cried as well from upstairs. Ironail was the best, he had started a new trend of 5k eurasia! Zizou was even more angered by this as it hard to latejoin..how could you afford the bombers?!?! Zizou continued waring ironail for first, there was seemingly no end to this war. Zizou challenged ironail to a duel, he was forced to accept due to his pride and honor. Zizou acted like he disconnected, left the game and reconnected. It was turn 9; ironail being the honorable person he is waited for him without making a move. Zizou abused this and sent hundreds of bombers at ironail, ironail spammed walls but it was too late ..zizou had defeated him. Zizou was once more number one - a time of peace had fallen on this land once more. Upon becoming first he gave unto AW two gifts; instant joining and bigger color ion. The community rejoiced, but felt so empty...ironail was the most honorable but zizou held the crown for number one. In light of the situation zizou gave them more gifts - Scenarios, an edit to his favorite strategy lucky bastard and a nerf to PD. The community began to like zizou, in fact they began to worship him. Grand vizier Fruit erected the church of zizou in the following weeks, and for this we owe him tons of rep. Thank you for reading our holy tale, may zizou bring you peace."

False Prophets

Soon after, other people started making their own rip-offs of the church. There was the Church of Ironail, the Church of a complete breakfast and the Religion of the Holy Prophet Ahmadinejad (Now Emir Timur). Zizou late joined these players until they were in the deep pits of hell (aka playing as Turkey). Zizou was triumphant.

AtWar Radio

Possibly the most autistic feature of all. AtWar radio just plays random songs that you obviously couldn't look up to listen to yourself. Nobody actually listens to AtWar radio and the idiots running it should stop wasting their time with it.

See Also

External Sites


 

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