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Bill Nye
William Sanford Nye✡, more commonly known as Bill Nye the Ultra-Authoritarian Science-Denial Guy (born November 25, 1955), is a professional Abe Lincoln lookalike who somehow managed to get lucky and landed his very own educational show on PBS in the mid-1990s – which is where you probably remember him from. Despite playing a "scientist" on television for half a decade, Bill Nye is still a complete fucking idiot and has only just recently been resurrected by the evil-doers at Netflix after spending 20-years in cryo-stasis next to Walt Disney's frozen head and The Backstreet Boys.
Following his revival, Bill Nye decided that he would attempt to save the world from Donald Trump by constantly whining about global warming, denying the scientific fact that chromosomes determine sex and actually suggesting that the United States adopt China's one-child policy in an attempt to curb carbon emissions.
DID YOU KNOW THAT....
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- Bill Nye is a Jew.
- Wears a bow-tie.
- Had kids on his show to make science appear cool, rad and far out! And because he loves kids.
- Thinks puns are funny.
- Is 68.
- Having only a BSc degree in mechanical engineering, Bill Nye is not a real scientist, just like anyone with a degree in any given social "science" field
- Is a recurring guest star on The Big Bang Theory because "lol science".
- Had a deep-voiced man hold cameras and do unfunny commentary for Science Television.
- The deep-voiced announcer on his old show was also the announcer on Super Smash Bros. Brawl.
- Bill Nye had a TV show called The Eyes of Nye without the deep-voiced Smash Bros. guy doing commentary and it sucked because of it.
- Had a mediocre debate with creationist Ken Ham where Nye "won", despite that Ham ended up walking away with a shit ton of cash thanks to all the tickets he sold, but its okay cuz every redditfag got to circlejerk over the empty victory! Way to go atheism!
- He later re-visited Ken Ham at his Noah's Ark theme park for his new Netflix show (because no one else from the largest religion in the world had time for Nye apparently) to poke fun at him once more, much to the joy of neckbeards on Youtube. However, once again all this did was serve as free publicity for Ham who got a shit ton of money from this (again) and more regular visitors. Way to go gentlemen!
- Is secretly dating Neil deGrasse Tyson (his dumber black clone) and they even celebrated Thanksgiving together in private.
- Made a fucking awful new show written by feminist astronomy blogger Phil Plait that's neither fun nor educational, and is basically just a soapbox for bad tumblr-tier ideas.
- Pretended that he was the first person ever to prove that Texas is full of stupid rednecks.
- Gave a lecture about keeping our environment clean and related get-fabulously-rich schemes at RIT.
- Guest starred in an episode of Stargate Atlantis that no one remembers.
- Fucked a woman way, WAY out of his league- Soledad O'Brien- while co-hosting a TV science show with her.
- Nobody likes science.
- Repeating a word fifty times is funny.
- Nobody wants to fucking see Bill Nye after 6th grade.
- Bill Nye did WTC
- The moon reflects the light of the sun, which means the Bible is true. Proof here. (Warning: Flooded by basement dwellers.)
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- Bill Nye is WAY too proud of his only two contributions to science - the Mars Rover sundial and the 747 "tube".
- Bill Nye, Neil deGrasse Tyson and Barack Obama used to hang out together to watch child porn, something they hope will one day be legalized by their Catholic and Socialist buddy Stephen Colbert, who hopes to become America's first Pedophile President.
- He once trolled astrology fans on his old show The Eye of Nye by pointing out that the constellations have moved from their original dates, and thus people are not the zodiac signs they thought they were, which caused a lot of butthurt and humorous reactions from astrofags and its what landed him this article back in the early days of ED, but that was a long time ago when the lulz were still fresh and not so dank...
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- Is over-circumcised.
- Would have cured Pig AIDS if you fuckers hadn't canceled his show.
- After his show was cancelled, he tried to stay relevant in a number of ways that did not last long, until the nostalgia craze hit the internet in the 2010s, where he tried copying TheAmazingAtheist and getting overly political to attract the millennial reddit crowd. When the 2016 Presidential Election rolled around, he decided to become even more of a libtard to ensure that even the mainstream media would kiss his ass and ensure his place among their ranks.
- Some middle school teachers still show his show in their classes, because as we all know it will make kids little science geniuses.
- He did this fucking annoying thing where he'd repeat an important scientific word nine times with different close-ups of his face each time. This along with the constant repeating of his name in the intro is an obvious hypnotism method to garner more sexual attraction from every child in grade school.
- BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL
Gallery of Memes
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"That's wrong, you fucking retard!" (used regularly on imageboards by people who can't come up with good counterarguments) -
When you want to look like an expert -
Bill Nye the Anime Guy for when you're trying to look smart on /a/ -
Bitches don't know.
NOW YOU KNOW....
Bill Nye facts
There are a select few who believe that Bill Nye is the son of God and the second coming of Christ, and they own this website. They tout facts proving Bill Nye's greatness such as:
- Bill Nye can split atoms with his bare hands.
- Bill Nye's sperm count is measured in moles/milliliter.
- Bill Nye knows the momentum of an electron... AND where it is.
- Bill Nye decides if Schrödinger's cat is alive or dead.
Bill Nye Saves the World
In 2017, some faggots on Netflix thought it would be a good idea to give this long-forgotten host of a 90s kids program a new TV show because reddit won't shut up about him. This resulted in the birth of Bill Nye Saves the World, a program geared towards kids and general audiences which is basically just more nostalgia bait for 90s retrofags who want a newer and edgier version of Nye's old show in a vain attempt to relive their lost childhood. The show is an agonizingly long period of Bill acting as stiff as board while regurgitating anything Phil Plait and his feminist posse have told him to say, so basically, Nye is whoring himself out because he has nothing of real value to say. The show is basically if reddit and tumblr had produced their own show, filled with plenty of awful humor and the kind of propaganda you would expect to see on liberal college campuses. The show gained much infamy after the song "My Sex Junk" by Rachel Bloom played on the show, which was basically her preaching about gender identity and fucking as many holes as possible. Surprisingly, the song was so awful and cringeworthy with its blatant propaganda that even most of reddit hated it and is rapidly becoming one of the most disliked videos in Youtube history.
Videos
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See also
- Albert Einstein
- Bill Clinton
- Bill Cosby
- Billy Mays
- Carl Sagan
- Cedric The Entertainer
- Fred Phelps
- Scientology
- WHAT HAS SCIENCE DONE?
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Bill Nye is part of a series on Visit the Social Justice Portal for complete coverage. |
| Featured article April 30 & May 1, 2017 | ||
| Preceded by Joss Whedon |
Bill Nye | Succeeded by TBD |
