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Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars
Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars is a shitty 2009 open-world action-adventure vidya game, developed by Rockstar Leeds, in conjuction with Rockstar North. The game is only available for iPod, PSP, iPad, and Nintendo DS because Rockstar wanted to try making a "GTA game for kids", for the first time ever. The game itself, is pure shit. It has a top-down camera view with a shitty lock-on system, boring cutscenes, that are just images with captions at the bottom, and boring gameplay in general. Essentially, it's just a scaled down version of GTA IV, that the only thing you can do in it, are the missions. The map for GTA CTW is based on the GTA IV rendition of the city, but everything is square, and details are simplified because of "restrictions" on hand-held devices.
However, you can buy and sell drugs. Kids will certainly learn a lot about the drug trade by playing this game, thanks to Rockstar.
Plot
The game starts off with Huang flying in his private jet, talking about how his father was murdered in Kowloon, and how he has to deliver a sword to Kenny in Liberty City. Apparently, his father was murdered while doing drugs and fucking cheap women when he was murdered. A few moments later, as if he were traveling at light speed over the ocean, manages to reach Francis International Airport in Liberty City. Some guys roll up in an Admiral, and tell him that his uncle sent them to pick him up.
Then everyone is ambushed by a bunch of guys in black suits. Huang gets shot and is kidnapped by the guys in the black cars. The guys in the car argue about shit, and come to the conclusion that Huang is dead, when he's really just unconscious. So they dump him in the water at the BOABO docks. Huang, managing to escape, reaches the shore and steals a car. He drives to Kenny's restaurant, Sum Yung Gai. There, he talks with his uncle about shit, and gets a safehouse.
From there, he continues working for Uncle Kenny, eventually works for Chan Jaoming, and eventually all the other characters listed below.
...
In the end, Kenny was the one who murdered Huang's father, stole the sword, and threatened to kill Hsin. Huang kills him in Hsin's penthouse, after another long boring cutscene, and a police chase.
Characters
- Huang Lee: The protagonist of the game. He's a spoiled rich kid who hates the people he gets hid missions from, as seen in many cutscenes. But who could blame him? For a guy that was robbed, shot, and left to die in a drowning car, he was sure treated like shit.
- Wu "Kenny" Lee: Huang's uncle, a person whom he gets missions from. A typical "power-crazy" motherfucker who makes Huang beat up Mexicans behind a store, burn down stores, and kill Zhou Ming towards the end of the game.
- Chan Jaoming: A complete fucking moron, and the son of the Triad boss, Hsin Jaoming. Like Wu Lee, he is another person you take missions from. Him and Zhou are competing to become the next Triad boss, by killing each other.
- Zhou Ming: The "arrogant shit", as described by Huang Lee.
- Hsin Jaoming: The leader of the Triads.
- Melanie Mallard: A moronic TV reporter.
- Rudy D'Avanzo: An Italian mobster who makes you kill a bunch of guys in a graveyard. Also, he's a cross-dresser.
- Lester Leroc: The fat, greasy biker who acts as Hsin's private investigator.
- Ling Shan: The only girl in this game that Huang wanted to fuck.
- Xin Shan: Ling's brother. Probably a more spoiled rich kid than Huang. Makes you drive a tank around the airport and blow shit up, and then gets mad at you because he got his ass shot by the cops. In order to unlock his missions, you have to waste time looking for the "Lions of Fo" in random locations throughout the map.
Gameplay
The gameplay is shit. The game has shitty graphics that look like they're from an early 2000s video game. And the lock on system doesn't work half the time. This is funny, considering GTA IV has far superior graphics to GTA CTW, but was released a year earlier.
