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INTJ

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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INTJ - THE PSUEDOINTELLECTUAL GOTH

File:Intjerkies.jpg
You're about to be called "stupid" in 3..2..1..
File:Good-to-recyc-glass.jpg
Typical INTJ laboratory + the plastic straws stolen from starbucks
File:Intjfetish.gif
They are known to indulge in degenerate fetishes
File:Cuckoldingintj.jpg
"For intellectuals you say? I'm on it!"
File:Intjunicornfemale.jpg
No, you're just a common husband abusing bitch
File:Black-widow-spiders thumb.jpg
A more accurate creature to represent the INTJ female, she draws her unsuspecting victims with sheer manipulation then takes over their mind
  • I - No one really loves you, you're pretty autistic and annoying as fuck to be around
  • N - Maybe I am god himself or lucifer.. maybe both
  • T - I repeatedly call others stupid and I hide behind a cold face
  • J - Stubborn as fuck with halted development

INTJokes are basically cerebral narcissists[1] with ego like a fat jellyfish. They're typically unoriginal, edgy, cringy, misantrophic and over confident in their intelect. They ploy to take over the world and enslave the inferior lives into some galactic empire to conquer the universe.

Why The INTJ Is Typically Stupid

  • Fake it till you make it mindset (99% of them don't make it)
  • No, you dip, copying characteristics and dressing styles of fictional TV show nerds doesn't authomatically make you a genious!
  • Constantly criticizing others for the smallest stuff doesn't make you look smarter, it makes you look like an asshole
  • Watching coockiecut TOP 10 DID YOU KNOW? are lazy ways to learn, read a book instead of sending links to proclaim your superiority
  • Constantly looking for shortcuts to accomplish their grandiose goals "I wonder why I fail why bieber gets all da pussy, stupid human cattle can't value true intelligence!"
  • "Wow that buzzfeed quiz says I have a 140 IQ, house Slytherin, it has to be true !!" *shares the buzzfeed link for everyone to see*
  • Making mistakes is not always a life or death treathening situation
  • Thinking in black and white while making blank face doesn't deem you rational, often the opposite
  • Arrogance has nothing to do with intelligence - 60% of INTJ intelligence is pure arrogance
  • Issues to handle criticisim, either gets defensive or sarcastic but will sure resent you for that
  • Being evil does not equal smart, it's like when a nigger thinks that crime = cool.
  • Know it all mentality - nuff said
  • Thinking having some nerdy novelty to show off to your friends makes you somehow respectable "Look at muh bookshelf, full of cliche philosophy crap, I have read them all, I'm so damn smart!"
  • Learning stuff for the sake of impressing others is fucking stupid (they often do this)
  • Scared of challenges, it's easier to go criticize a few people on the internet
  • If someone doesn't get their humor he must be dumb
   
“ 		 
I am a snob.
  		„
  		 

—proclaims the INTJ proudly

Fun INTJ Facts

  • They Jerk to some weird shit because normal reproductive human activity makes them uncomfortable
  • Many listen to exfp type of music like Nicki Minaj, David Get It, Rihanna, Adam Lambert
  • They are fans of emo rock too (behid 9000 layers of ice lies a wounded crying soul who just wants cuddles)
  • Many secretly suffer from suicidal ideation
  • And sadistic murder fantasies
  • Many suffer from mild depression
  • They tend to cry themselves to sleep at night due to short moments of self clarity their mind forces on them
  • They like to watch children TV shows way out of their age and may even cry during the scenes
  • They tend to prefer to sleep at day and be awake at night
  • They dream of being artists but lack the mental capacity for it so they go belittle real artists
  • Constantly obsessed about wondering why geniousnes like them aren't filthy rich already
  • They care alot about what others think about them, 70% of as much as ESFJ does
  • They like to talk big but don't follow mostly
  • They really have a hard time not to brag about everything
  • It's not that they are unemotional, they are as emotional as a BPD sufferer but are scared shitless to reveal the weeakness.
  • ALL straight INTJs are closeted homosexuals: 1)Admitting they are gay is like proclaiming to others they are inferior 2)They are so secretly desperate for cuddles they will accept a same sex romance if a same sex person shows genuine interest in them
  • Once they get out of the closet, everyone else cis proclaimed inferior
  • They really like cats but often unknowingly abuse them due to their autistic tendencies
   
“ 		 
INTJ is a disorder
  		„
  		 

—some INTP getting it right

INTJ in a relationship

Intjs are unbearable, controlling perfectionazis. They are also emotionally sadistic if their partners truly give a shit about them. Why? because they need the drama going and can't handle personal relationships well due to their various personality disorders.

  • Typical foreplay convo between INTP & INTJ:
  • INTP: *Sarcasm*
  • INTJ: *Sarcasm sarcasm...*
  • INTP: *Sarcasm* xD
  • INTJ: *Sarcasm*
  • INTP: *Sarcasm* :D :D
  • INTJ: *Criticizes*
  • Argument begins between both*
  • Both: I ain't even mad!
  • INTP: *Smiles awkwardly*
  • INTJ: blabla... and this is why you're wrong and a dumbass
  • INTP: That's it, I am tired of you belitteling my intelligence and abilities, I am LEAVING
  • INTJ: Go ahead, I don't care *hardpokerface* (No please don't leave me, I will attempt to drink bleach if you do!)

How To Attract an INTJ

  • Act dumb and impressed by their obvious statements while dressing to look smart
  • Say you don't like humanity and the world but you try keeping it positive
  • Agree with them yet act the opposite of them, the INTJ doesn't like similar people because they can't confront real-time competition and will play dirty
  • Promise them you're submissive yet don't ever do anything they tell you to
  • Be barely available, the arrogant INTJ likes some expensiveness
  • Don't even think to impress them with your intellectual discoveries or anything connected to talent as it will only make them treathened and jealous, lowering your attractiveness by 50%
  • Don't try to outsmart the INTJ even in the smallest things such as sudoku, even if you can.
  • Never ever even think to get emotionally attached (unless masochistic). Instead make them attached to you:
  • Read a seduction book to see through INTJs tricks and emotionally enslave then cuck them. This will leave them running desperately after you as they won't be able to deal with the reality they have been FOOOOOOOOLED. Done right they will be romantically obsessed about you for years!

Typical INTJ (Predictable)Trolling

  • Grow up!
  • I am so magnificent, I impress myself so bow down before me!
  • *Sarcasm*
  • =______=
  • You sir are a dumbass
  • That strawman argument...
  • *questionable link sources to support their claim*
  • Size doesn't matter, it's the brain!
  • *Sigh*
  • God I hate humans, they are so dumb!1!1!
  • *Facepalm*
  • *Moar sacrcasm*
  • Shure I will put a live baby kitten in a blender for millions of dollas!
  • You sound childish
  • Grow up
  • You are so dumb
  • God you're stupid
  • Well congrats! You finally got something right in your life
  • Stop posting and delete your account
  • Pffft you sound like a child
  • You're retarded
  • MORON
  • You mispelled a word, haha you're dumb
  • -IM SO FUNNY-
  • Religion is for the dumb!

How To Troll These Sad Beings

  • DONT: Argue with them. INTJs want to win no matter what, even if their statements are in fact untrue and rediculous. Their endless rationalization engine inside their heads.

Sure they can admit a mistake (rarely) if it makes them look very smart.


  • DO: Remind them what sad posers they are, living in a grandiose delusion while being losers. Make fun at them for that. Just keep insisting on it but be a little patient as those words will take a while to get through 50 plates of their gay draconian armor and stress them out right before sleeping time. "Well, he's right, I guess I shall KMS"
   
“ 		 
Well I don't believe in MBTI anyway (anymore) this whole idea is ridiculous, only a dumbfuck takes MBTI seriously!!
  		„
  		 

—INTJ after reading this page


Gallery Of INTGayness

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


Famous INTJs

  • Mark Fuckerberg - Tries to take over the world with his shitty failbook
  • Steve Blowjobs - Stole an idea from someone else, created a nazi platform
  • Pekka-Eric Auvinen - a mass shooter who couldn't even aim properly
  • Agent Smith - Humans are a virus!!1!
  • Michelle Obama - Muh drones
  • Hannibal Lecter - pretty much like Michelle
  • Joseph Mengele - I do this for medicine and science
  • Elliot Rodger - a sophisticated and enlightened gentleman
  • Lord Voldemort - typical INTJ
  • House MD - Lol a fictional character who inspired tons of INTJ copycats
  • 90% of fictional media evil scientists who constantly fail
  • Loki - Whaa daddy, I wanna be that special kid!
  • Ender Wiggin - Still a fictional character
  • Katniss - MBTI forum symbol of the empowered INTJ attention whores
  • Eric Harris - suspected to be one
  • Walter White - Best meth producer eva
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