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Kendricks Redtail

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Lulz machine hard at work This page has potential but it needs a lot of work. It could benefit from More pics. Less furry unfunny drama. Major Cleanup in Progress.. Discuss edits that might add to the lulz on this article's talk page.


Ken Redtail powerword Ken Trayling is a furry fag from the Chicago suburbs with a fetish for chakrats [1] (ie hermaphrodite centaur cats). He is a living epidemic of USI and tries way too hard to gain some sort of fame in the furry fandom that defines his entire existence.

Redtail Becums A Seaman

 
Plushophilia at its finest!

Ken joined the United States Navy after failing out of both University of Wisconsin AND College of DuPage. Despite having previous knee problems and mental disorders, he lied to the Navy and was able to enlist. There he became a culinary specialist, but barely ever cooked because he shipmates made him their bitch and had him clean their bathrooms. Ken was often to subject of a lot of ridicule while aboard the USS Enterprise, and was even [raped|beaten up] while he was sleeping. Shipmates would steal his fuck plushies and wipe their asses with them, then return them to his bunk after Ken would throw a temper tantrum.

Don't ask don't tell.

The abuse got so bad that Ken would sleep out in his smelly truck in the parking lot every night to avoid being beaten up. In 2006, Ken was discharged from the Navy for being too fat. No joke. He was considered far too overweight and the Navy gave him several chances to lose to extra pounds, but his fat furry ass continued to over eat since no one else could stand his cooking. Still, Ken is proud of his service to our country. He boasts about it on just about all of his online profiles, even his sick furry ones[[2]].

Hermaphrodite Centaur Fursona

Like most delusional furries, Ken's gay centaur fursona (named Chakat Redtail) was just about as confused sexually as he still is. Once upon a time, Ken would settle for being some some fags last resort online fucktoy, so long as they roleplay with him.

 
Gay Centaur Fursona


     [02:25] kendricks_redtail: My original fursona reflected my personal choices in bisexuality and polyamory
     [02:25] anon: >.> polyamory?
     [02:26] kendricks_redtail: Yes
     [02:26] kendricks_redtail: I've had various experiments with polyamory. You?
     [02:26] anon: no.
     [02:27] kendricks_redtail: Never been an interest, huh?
     [02:27] anon: not in the slightest. >.> im dedicated to just one.
     [02:27] kendricks_redtail: Its kinda hectic and I've really drawn away from it. My last
run really ended in tears.
     [02:31] kendricks_redtail: ~shrugs and grins~
     [02:31] kendricks_redtail: its not like I had multiple mates
     [02:31] kendricks_redtail: I was one of the multiple mates, does that make sense?
     [02:32] anon: no offense but i dont want to talk about polyamory


Furry Fame. Furry Pride.

Ken really and truly believes that being a furry makes him ~ special. If you diss his furry fandom he will endlessly argue with you. 


    Ken: I only have connection to the fox so I may draw strength from his totem, much in the way a 
    shaman would dress as a buffalo to draw upon their magic, the way a roman would dress as a wolf to lead the legion
    Ken: I look to the foxs totem, so I may gain wisdom, cunning and craftiness
    Ken: So my mind will be sharper and I will have connection to the animal spirits
    Ken: That is how I celebrate furry
    Ken: Romans dressed as wolves to honor lupa
    Ken: And to have her aid them in battle
    Ken: Its deeply spiritual stuff, dear
    Ken: Why are we arguing this?
    Anon: *grin* right, nothing like making a cartoon deeply serious. Uh huh. Ayup. Sure twist
    ancient mythos into reality. Which lets just say, Rome fell now didn't it? Thousands of years ago too.. Hm.. gee.
    Ken: Simply because you seek to mock me for choosing a spiritual path and totem and attributing 
    it to furry, something you know nothing about?
    Anon: roflmfao, a cartoon is a spiritual path? my god. You really are fucked up aren't you?
    Ken: You keep going back to cartoon
    Ken: Where I say totem, you say cartoon
    Ken: I don't get it
    Anon: *grin* nothing like twisting popular culture and icons into something more "mystical" as a 
    way to justify yourself for wanting to escape reality
    Ken: People do it all the time
    Ken: But I miss where I fall into this?


SomethingAwful

Ken was booted off the SomethingAwful forums after defending furries and admitting his furry status. He got on his lj then to cry about how he was being fursecuted. He was proud of being a furry and if SomethingAwful was so prejudiced against him and his kind he didn't want to be a part of it anyway. His butthurt was poorly masked and was pretty characteristic of his generally emo entries.


WikiFur

After wasting his life editing articles and donating a lot of his parents' money to the wiki, Ken became sysop on wikifur. He mostly got the position because the head administrator GreenRaeper wants his dick. It's known that Ken will make alternate accounts to vote his own crappy articles "Featured Article of the Week". He also wastes a lot of time reverting vandals on his own article. [[3]] Be sure to give him something to do by linking this article often.


Mommy & Daddy are furries too

Perhaps the most disturbing thing about Ken Redtail is the fact that his parents are also into the furry/otherkin scene. That's right. His middle-aged parents have adopted fursonas and endorse their son running around with other sick fucks wearing diapers and sporting erections dripping with pre-cum. Although their vanity wikifur articles (now blanked) claim that their son introduced them to the anthro lifestyle, it was actually his over protective mother who found his live journal and discovered that her son was a fag. Unlike his Dad, his Mother has been attending furry conventions. Is there no sadder thing then you going with your mom to a furry convention? Am I right? It's even sadder than him telling everyone his mom is dying of cancer so he can obtain free art. [[4]]

 
Ken's mom, srsly.

For the record, his mother's fursona is Karee Bunda, a rabbit-panda hybrid while Ken's father is Arigon the Golfing Dragon, who is, as his name implies, a golfing dragon. This proves that even dragons can be middle-class suburbanites with boring hobbies. Shine on, you crazy diamonds!

Ken and his Dad were recently spotted together making a scene at a Red Robin restaurant. Apparently the waitress wasn't moving fast enough for them. Further observation shows that Ken and his dad ordered everything on the menu, twice, and the kitchen could just not keep up. Judging by the size of Ken, it's suspected that if he doesn't eat every fifteen minutes on the dot, he will implode - or just throw a giant temper tantrum.


100% Straight

Unlike many of his furfag brethren, Ken claims to be heterosexual and eschews the use of yiff art in his own personal drawings. By 2009 Ken abandons his chakat for a new fursona named Kendricks Redtail who is just a plain boring fox. He hopes he can put his dark past of e-buttsex behind him and starts going for females on livejournal.

However, due to the fact that he is a super macho ex-Navy and a Republican who loves Jesus, he'll become the furry fandom's largest closet case. Perhaps that is why he harbors such guilt and often leaves lj entries where he discusses leaving the fandom.

To try and cover up his homosexuality, Ken obsesses himself with many female furries. Married, engaged, dating, single, he doesn't care - Ken will tell any girl he's known for more than 5 minutes that he loves them and that they should leave their current significant other for him. Ken has "fallen in love" with every female furry that has been unfortunate enough to have crossed his path. Ken's response was the same as it always is. He denied having anything to do with any of these girls. Then when they persisted and he started losing numbers on his friends list, he made a big public apology and expected everyone to forgive him. When they didn't he threatened to become an hero. After being dumped for the second time while he was on cruise in the Navy, Ken kept the engagement ring he gave to that girl and has used it to propose to over a dozen girls over the internet.

 
Not creepy. Not Creepy at all. No one would think this guy owns a fursuit, right?

Ken has been said to have raped someone in the past. When confronted with this accusation, Ken said: 

    [14:41] kendricks_redtail: Just the fact that's flying around is upsetting me
    [14:41] kendricks_redtail: You see
    [14:41] kendricks_redtail: I've BEEN raped


UmJammer Tranny

If the hermaphrodite centaur fursona wasn't enough of a dead give away, Ken has also had a sexual relationship with Hiromi Kitsune, a transsexual. "Romi" (aka Robert) was born a male but while Ken was dating him, he was having operations to become a female. Ken admitted to "testing out" Romi's "new parts" as he got them. He also admits to being a part of circle jerks with several other males while Romi paraded around in his fursuit. He lived with Romi part of the time while he was in the Navy but ended up cheating on him after he admitted to him that he was "too embarrassed" to introduce Romi to his parents.


To Catch a Redtail

About the time the original ED article was written in 2009, Ken's e-life (having already ruined irl) as a furry was endlessly spiraling downhill. The furry communities that he was a part of were tired of him stalking down their female members and watching him try to force them into romantic scenarios via roleplay.


Contact Info

 
 
Fursuit. Note the jaunty sailor's cap and the customized t-shirt

Sock Accts

It's no surprise that even fat furry females turned Ken's disgusting advances down. The women started blocking him and he tl;dr went apeshit making hundreds of LJ sock accounts to get his revenge against them and the Lake Area Furry Friends (LAFF), [[5]] a local irl furry club.

LAFF was not impressed with Ken's naval career nor his wiki op status and so they Ken from the group for just being a creepy dirty fuck. Ironically, these were the same furfags he once sought attention fame from. It's pretty sad when a zoophilic community with literally no standards deems you too pathetic to associate with.

Ken also had a few sock accounts on the old ED where he would flame other furs (Sema JayHawk, Blazger, Vixen T. Fox) and attempt to use ediots as his own personal army. tl;dr It didn't work.

Quitting Internet

On August 14th 2009, a post was made on   furrydrama_2 about Ken. It contains 63 comments of Ken-bashing, and eventually Ken found the post. He begged his BFF Rayven Wolffe to defend him, but she promptly kicked his fat ass to the curb. How could she defend him when all the accusations and stories in the post were true? After that, Ken made a vague, emo, locked post on his LiveJournal and has not updated it since.


Dr. Manchild

Ken disappeared for a long time but recently resurfaced. Looks like he discovered cosplay and is extremely gay for the Dr. Who series. His DeviantArt page is littered with him dressing up as the doctor and playing with legos like a fucking manchild. I guess it shouldn't be a surprise, considering he enjoys SecondLife and Neopets.


 
It burns


Currently, he thinks he's a ghostbuster and is engaged to a hambeast. Wtf.[[7]]

 
I can't make this shit up.

Gallery

External Links

 

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