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OiNK

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Massive Drama

on 18th of November, 2007, OINK, being a happy pig that he is, registered on a super sikrit torrent tracker, whose url he previously posted on his forums, which is totally against their rules. Naturally, he gets b&, comes to IRC to demand an explanation, when the other users on the channel noticed he was running his irc client as root (Noob) he was then banned from IRC too. As if it wasn't enough lulz for today, a random user posted a screenshot of OiNK's disabled profile to waffles.fm, the l33t users of the sikrit site got the random user's ip address then he was b& on the sikrit site. Failtrolls at Waffles.fm, Oink's replacement, got massive butthurt because of their visionary finally getting what he was asking for. At the moment of writing the drama still escalates.

About

 
When music sharing goes terribly terribly wrong.

Oink's Pink Palace, or simply Oink was a super secret UK based gated community, where all the stupid music snobs hung out to download pirated albums and talk about how their taste in music is superior to everybody else's. It was pretty much like Napster with forums, except without all of the DMCAs. It also had a fair amount of software, audio books and comics torrents but despite promises of pink pussy found in the name, Oink was not for porn.

Oink also had no movie torrents, no TV torrents and has a shit load of rules dictating everything from what P2P client you can use, what you could and couldn't upload and keeping it 'members only'.

PARTY V&

On October 23, 2007, Oink got v& by the limeys and Dutch. Their manager, who was at least 100 years old, got arrested for selling CP, pirating records, and being a gangstar. Nobody noticed. Ex mods are still RAGED about oinks demise. Speaking of the mods at Oonk, 99.98% of these power hungry assholes somehow defied basic physics and became greater elitist faggots than Apple users. They generally made the forums a haven for other elitist member who were dumber and generally more un-funny than Dane Cook. They proceeded to ban anyone who slightly questioned their fucking retarded decisions and ideas, making Oink progressively shittier. Unfortunately many of these fuckers still have positions of power at the wannabe Oink sites Waffles and What. An effort is currently in place to give their info to the RIAA so they will hopefully kill themselves when they have their website taken away.

The fact is, websites like The Pirate Bay do this for free, so it falls into a legal and moral grey area. OiNK was doing it for money, which is a crime, pure and simple.

Mascot

The mascot of Oink is a cute little pig, hence the name. What pigs have to do with file sharing is still a mystery, and many scientists are hard at work right now working on this dilemma. One popular theory is that in order to attract 16 year old girls, a cute mascot was a must.

 
A cute mascot is a must.
 
The only cool part of Oink is where the pig gets set up the bomb.

This attitude is reflected in the policy of "A Cute Avatar Is A Must", which states that in order to have any sort of icon, it has to be some cute stuffed animal nonsense or else you'll get banned.

Forums

Oink also plays host to its own forums which consist mainly of noobs begging for a cute icon so that they don't get banned. Zeriara heard about this, and formulated a secret plan:

  1. Get commissions for cute icons
  2. Don't draw anything
  3. ????
  4. Profit!

Unfortunately, nobody would give her an invite, so she got pwnd. Everybody on the forums also has a last.fm, and they use their signatures to brag about their really really really good taste in music. They do this by copy-pasting charts from their last.fm pages into their signatures, so that the whole world will always know what they're listening to.

The forums will often contain epic gems like people claiming that 0.120 > 0.12 and iTunes is a proper player.

The other highlight of the forums is a really long thread that tries to rip off Bash.org, by assembling the world's longest list of bad IRC quotes. Some of the funniest gems include such priceless humor as: 

<Cirwen> lol msn on the phone would be funny
<Adz> its availiable
<feetonfedora> i wonder how long it is going to be before i have a toaster with built in msn

LOL SKYPE

And who could forget the "It's funny because it's true" classic: 

[00:02] <BaBy> »» WinAmp :: Higher :: Creed :: Greatest Hits :: 01:47 / 05:26 :: (6/25) :: 224 kbps ««
[00:03] <P10> nooo
[00:03] <P10> Not Creed
[00:03] <P10> Even God hates Creed.

Oh man, what a knee-slapper!

 
Does anybody know who these bands are

Invites

Jumping on the bandwagon of GMail, the creators of Oink tried to create hype by making it an invitation-only system. Unfortunately, the stupid fucks neglected to exploit the even bigger market of invitation sales, instead deciding to ban them altogether. The logic was that by banning the sale of invites, they made sure that only really indie hipsters were allowed on the site, thus boosting their prestige. At least 98 people have bought into this bullshit, as evidenced by Oink's page on 43Things:

 
6297 users waiting for an invite on inviteshare

 

Despite these restrictions, you can still find occasional auctions on eBay (more like e-GAY lol) hawking invites to Oink. However, once one becomes a Power User+++, one receives so many invites that they soon become about as valuable as the yen.

Ratio

You will often hear Oink users talking about their 'ratio' (often referred to as 'ration' by extreme retards), which is a simple proportion of the amount of erotic porn uploaded to the amount downloaded. Once you upload 10 gigs of porn, obtain a ratio greater than 1.00, and have been a member for moar than 2 weeks, you become what is known as a Power User+, which is how the RIAA knows that you are a real pirate and that all DMCAs should be sent to you. In return for becoming a Power User+++, you get access to a special forum ("Because you're special and we love you!" -oink.me.uk) that contains secret threads such as "Growing a beard..." and "why is it so god damn hard to watch a video file". OH MY!

Unfunny

 
oink is a troll, and he will milk you for all lol you can give.

Oink is generally considered to be unfunny, as anything funny that is detected by the forum moderators is quickly deleted, and the offender banned. There are a lot of things you can get banned for on Oink, and the following list is by no means exclusive:

  • Being funny
  • Using naughty language on the forums
  • Thinking or breathing
  • Not knowing the rules, even though you can't read the rules unless you have an invite
  • Not having a cute icon (it is a must!)
  • Giving moar desu to those who ask
  • Uploading any torrents that aren't at 192 kbps or better, because everybody on Oink is an audiophile, amirite?
  • Selling invites for profit
  • Selling invites for charity
  • Being black person
  • Inviting anybody who breaks the rules. The theory is that by making sure that the indie hipsters only invite moar indie hipsters, the black people will be cock-blocked
  • Downloading music without uploading your social security details and hidden furry stash
  • Mentioning the fact that "Icky Thump" by the White Stripes was removed by the RIAA.
  • CP
  • Being a user when the site was taken down.
  • This page

See Also

External Links

Other Private Trackers

 

OiNK is part of a series on

Music

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OiNK is part of a series on

Trolls

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Sites

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