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Banat

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
This is an old revision of this page, as edited by imported>Oliver Hart at 00:05, 1 April 2014. It may differ significantly from the current revision.
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Banat is a place in Romania where poor people and the government come to steal money from hard working Banatians. Banat is also known as "our faggot city Timisoara" by the Romanians and "Temesvar" by the Hungarians who are always crying about some shit that happened in 1920.

I want to rape your kid, please. (they are very polite)
By far the most phishing activity in Romania comes from Timisoara/Banat
Sure, a US resident will be worried about one of these Romanian banks
Typical street scene in Banat
Missing a wheel, no problem
Animals bring joy to the family
Mayor of Temesvar. Her daughters bought her the position, while on their backs

Common knowledge

  • Idiot #1: Man, my fucking cheap mayor has no money to put light bulbs in the streets because the Moldavians stole them all to build roads. I hate Moldavians. from Siemens
  • Idiot #2: We have in Timisoara more cars than in Bucharest!! from Siemens
  • Idiot #3: Christ!! This bitch I bought in Asia is a fag... Whatever, spent money are lost money. Suck here, please. from Cacatel
  • Wisdom words from Banat: Decat sa-ti para rau, mai bine sa-ti fie rau. (Instead of feeling sorry, better feel sick). This can be used when you are invited somewhere to eat or drink, or you see free coffee somewhere, but you don't drink coffee (until then, of course, when you will take 3-4 cups and have a heart-attack).


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    Dear, we will eat this tomorrow with the kids, now go and finish what they have on the table.
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    I want some too...

Internets in Banat

Strangely enough, Banat has the most internets of any place in Eastern Europe. The reason for this is simple. Most of the prostitutes in London, Amsterdam and Paris are sex-slave teenagers from Banat. The pimps back home create lavish web sites to display the goods, and orders come in from cities everywhere to supply them with whores. After a few years in other lands, these women return home and create their own web sites to advertise their young daughters and sons for sale to pedophiles from Germany.

The second reason is much more important. Have you ever tracked the IP address of someone sending you a "phishing" scam, a poorly written email supposedly from your bank, or from PayPal, or from eBay, trying to get your log-in info or credit card number? Most of the time, if the address is not from Russia, it is based in Romania, #2 in the world for internet crime, carding, and all other kinds of internets fraud. And Banat is the top city in Romania for these crimes, a badge it wears proudly. You could even say that Banat is a pioneer in devising new kinds of crimes for the internets...and they have NORTON!

Fortunately for us, in Banat, being a shitty place in shitty Romania, the shitty internets connection is poor and they get disconnected a lot from their shitty, miserable evil doings. Of course, all this is happening because of those damn, fucking, worst-then-niggers shitty Moldavians. GOD, I hate them!!!

A lot of great newspapers are read every day, with news where they learn how much the Moldavians and the government is stealing from them: I am da MAN (Romanian language required, rarely available as Romania cannot afford reliable databases); I see you stealing my money (still, stupid Romanian language required)

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    High class escort
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    Action babe
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    Usual street worker
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    And not least...

People they hate

  1. Moldavians
  2. JewsThey all moved away for some reason about 60 years ago
  3. Unfunny people with unwarranted self-importance
  4. Moldavians from Moldova
  5. People from Olt.
  6. People from Bucharest
  7. Romanians
  8. Gypsies
  9. Arabs
  10. Niggers
  11. Scots
  12. ????
  13. MOLDAVIANS

If you expected PROFIT, you are Jew and stupid. Moldavians are stealing all our profits.

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    Why there are no Jews in Banat?
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    Banatians drink his blood!
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    Moldavian fags try to get our gold! We showed them!
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    Modafokars try to get our gold also! Get them!

Living in Banat

Fact: Mr Alistair Crowley spent 2 years in Banat, perverting almost all the population in the area. Since then, Banat is known as a haven of homosexuality and pedophilia.

Because they love money so much, the majority of them will tend to marry with very close relatives, especially sister+brother. This way the family can keep all the money and never give anything to those fucking Moldavians. Inbreeding is very popular here as a means to keep the gene pool clean.

You would expect that this will make the population very smart and beautiful, but some Moldavian blood must have been contaminating the project because they have a huge problem with retardness, gayness and monster people being born here.

Everything in Hostel movies is true, but it did not happen in Slovakia, it was in Banat (retarded gay kids from Banat find great joy when they play football with human heads).

You can choose from 4 kinds of races to live here:

  • the dirty, stinking, hungry, stupid mofo Moldavians - the most common type
  • the ugly, speaks-faster-then-french Oltenians
  • the angry, stylish, just-as-smart-as-americans Banatians
  • the oppressed, beautiful, smart, with-god-like-language Hungarians - most hard to play with, but most interesting, because you can get the extra skill of being a part of Hungarian militia and bear arms to shoot fucking Moldavians that steal everything I work for and that rape our girls and kill our kids. I hate them, hate them, hate them!!! GOD SAVE BANAT!! Allah akbar!!!
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    Moldavian from Banat
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    Hot Oltenian from Banat
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    Banatian from Banat
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    This fag seems to like you. Want a lap dance?
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    Ninjas are coming to rape your ass.
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    Retards...
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    Moldavian girls are training to get your money, retard.
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    Usual wife in Banat.

Now let's move on...

Here, in wonderful and magical Banat, you have a large selection of cabdrivers who will get you everywhere they want.

Before going into a cab you must be very careful to see if the driver has any occupation (if yes he will be busy and NOT speak with you) and gently ask him where he is going and if he can take you there. If you have the honor to find a driver willing to go on your route, you must make conversation with him while he is driving and watching his mini DVD player and bash Moldavians. Failing to do that will make him throw you out of the cab, again, while he is driving and watching his mini DVD player and bashing Moldavians.

You can also take the firobuz (wire-bus in Banat language) or the bus.

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    Wonder of the science. And rapists haven...
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    If you are lucky you will not fall in my dick you bitch.

You can find a lot of great local foods here, like "oul banatean" (Banatian egg), "pane alba banateana" (white Banatian bread), "salam Banat bun" (salami good Banat) and everything that has the name Banat in it.

Tarzan ( Johnny Weissmuller: the one, the only, the real Tarzan, like they say) was the greatest personality that Banat has to offer to date. He is celebrated each year with many Jew fireworks. All people from Banat must take a pilgrimage that day to the great museum that is his house (he didn't live there thou, only his mother had a failed abortion).

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    Proud Banatian
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    No worthy opponent for the Banatian
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    No match for the Banatian

It is believed that Tarzan was so great only because of his "Tarzan Yell"™. Audio is kind of low, so boost up your sound a little for this one.

People living in Banat/Timisoara/Temesvar

  • 65% Moldavians (that hate Moldavians)
  • 25% Oltenians (that hate Moldavians)
  • 20% Banatians (that hate all people)

It may seem that there are 110% people in Banat. This is a common misconception, everybody knows that "Banatu-i fruncea" (The Banat is my ass.)

While trying to make some honest money, if they are sent to sand niggers or Africa to slave for french corporations they steal the toilet paper from their workplace (they can spend the money then on overpriced coffee in Temesvar at the new shiny mall). Or they steal yogurt from shops in Gabon, because only idiots give money to niggers. This helps them to have a new first in Romania: the first dead by malaria in over 100 years. Super!

Of course, all the money they make by hardworking, slaving and starving are stolen by Moldavians when they come home.

The music here is also the best and all the great Romanian singers came from here. This is a small sample that you can hear while living in Timisoara (specially in weekends in the morning) Beautiful sounds coming from Banat. ~my god, it's full of links

What can we say about the dance? Well, is magnificent. Just look at this real life like and vivid dance. The music is a little slow for what they can really do.


Also there are a lot of bozgors here that we love and admire. We will like to bow to them if the Moldavians will let us. Here are some special people thanking the almighty bozgors that took care of us for ages.

Sports

They also have high regards for sports and football in general in Timisoara (they really understand what lulz are).

And they have great songs to praise the football team Poli Stiinta 1921 Timisoara aka FC Politehnica AEK Timisoara aka Banatu-i fruncea.

They also love car sports.

It's common in Banat to drive on the wrong way of the road to show the others how good you are. In Banat, if you drive an Audi, BMW or Mercedes you are tha MAN and no driving rule will apply to you. This great sport is somehow put in shadow by the great numbers of victims that can't afford a real car and must obey the law, those causing them to crash into the cars of real people.

Gallery of beautiful and unique places to visit while in Timisoara.

It may seem, again, for the stupid and idiots that it's the same place. black person!! Timisoara has a lot to offer and if it weren't for you meddling Moldavians we will be bigger then Japan.

Bear in mind that these beautiful buildings were built by the Hungarians in the 19th century, when the city was still part of Hungary. Buildings made in modern-day Banat last only about 5 or 6 years, on average.

In fact, everything that we ever did was with our real masters, the Hungarian people. Romania only give us Moldavians. Let them rot in Hell.

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    Wonderful. So... phallic.
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    The snow is giving a totally new look to this cock penis dick pula belitawhatever
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    Joly good, sir! I like this. It's super!
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    Welcome to Banat, come on in!
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    Looks like more dicks from this angle. Swelll!!
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    I have no idea why I'm getting a raging clue right now...
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    Night is special here.
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    In case you've forgotten (it's just me, or this is going inside goatse right NOW?)

See also


Now all the Banatians have a quick look here:
 
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