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Davkal

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Davkal was an editor who was eventually banned from Wikipedia for behaving like a total asshat dickhead cunt. He thinks science is all shit and dreams of replacing it with his own important knowledge of the spirit world, magic crystals, zombie mating rituals, ghost puppet children, and psychically-induced orgasms (which are the dope). He also is convinced the US Gubbamint is plotting to hide the truth of anal-probing space aliens from the population.

Davkal, reduced to podcasting rants against Science Apologist in public parks.


Some guy on the internet made an evil robot with my name on it

Davkal's sworn enemy on Wikipedia is Science Apologist, and Davkal's psychotic fantasy is that his evil nemesis has created a robot sockpuppet named "Davkal" that is programmed to act like an ass on Wikipedia and discredit all that superstitious but totally cool paranormal shit. Davkal imagines that when anything that disagrees with Science Apologist lands on Wikipedia, he finds out who placed the bullshit, and then a fake "Davkal" appears on the article talk page, gets banned again, and no one complains because Science Apologist has friends who are admins on Wikipedia.

How Davkal imagines it works

  • You place a "contributation" on Wikipedia that says UFOs are for real and the US govt. is full of shit, and cite your source as some UFO nut webpage.
  • Suddenly, a fake Davkal appears on the talk page acting all batshit crazy.
  • Then a Wikipedia Template appears on YOUR talk page, calling YOU a sockpuppet.
  • If you go to the administrator's page to complain about the accusation, the fake Davkal shows up there saying you and he are best buddies.
  • Suddenly you get blocked and permabanned for being Davkal's sockpuppet. You try to explain that you are NOT this Davkal, but you find your talk page blocked, which is Wikipedia's way of saying Get Your Fucking Ass Off of Wikipedia and keep it out.
  • Science Apologist's henchmen remove all evidence.
  • Time from your "contributation" to having your ass tossed: 2-4 seconds.

Davkal believes this is all part of a huge plot enabled by the Robertson Panel, Operation Mockingbird, and the US government.

How it actually works

If you place anything on Wikipedia that is pro-paranormal then sane people will see your contributions and your sorry ass tossed from Wikipedia and make sure that UFOs and other insane bullshit is kept OFF of Wikipedia. On Wikipedia, even articles about porn are more respected than I-Saw-A-Shadow-So-It's-An-Alien-Ghost paranormal wanking.

Source