Google Video

This article is ancient history. You can help by reliving the moment.

Google Video was a boring site for hosting documentaries about how Jews did WTC, boring strip teases, teenage girls attempting to be funny with stuffed animal shows and shitty remakes of popular videos, guys fighting like retards, AMVs, boring demonstrations of eurofag motorcycles, fat and/or ugly people, unfunny jokes from American sitcoms and shitty Fox cartoons, old jokes, coke and mentos experiments, and other kinds of faggotry.

TL;DR: It's the grandfather of YouTube today.

Since 2012, Google Video has turned into a carcass and is no longer its own independent video site, disappearing from the internets and instead favoring to just merge its videos into Youtube, hence infecting it further with old faggotry. Now all Google Video does is search for other videos, just like how Google does.

A standard that Google Video abides by is that all videos need to have the lowest bit rate possible, and that they should be blown up to 10 times their original size with no respect to proportions, resulting in a JPEG-y clusterfuck of video along with shitty, wobbly audio. As a result, you could only see one block of blurred bullshit at a time.

History (AKA why Google Video fails)

• January 25, 2005: Google Video lets you pre-buffer 15 minutes of video. Youtube was founded in Feb 15 2005 and begins the downfall of Google Video already.
• 2007: Google Video, due to its efforts to try and make Youtube shit, completely throws its own video site away, only letting you pre-buffer 15 seconds of video. Once that's gone you have to fight with the Flash control to make it load more, and then once it starts again, Google Video's Flash control loses all the previous video caching you have. Everyone actively avoids using Google Video entirely. Even using a stream downloader only gets 15 seconds with no resume support and then Google Video just times out, shits its diaper and dies.
• 2009: Google Video gets off its lazy ass and actually tries to improve its service above prehistoric. Instead of 15 seconds, it allows you to pre-buffer an entire show. We have only tested this up to roughly 30 minutes (watching the classic Naked Ape series). Still only worthy function is to watch interesting documentaries and studies, despite pre-buffering reaching present day capabilities.
• 2012: Google Video is dead, buried, and becomes YouTube. And nothing of value was lost.

What it was about

Google Video was as prehistoric as you could get with a video sharing website. Only being made one month before YouTube, it showed its age in more than one way. The prebuffering, while okay, turned into a disaster as the years progressed. You could only upload 100MB files to their shit servers, and the .gvi extension has since been replaced by more superior containers. They also used to have a Google Video Player that only played Google videos, but that has been discontinued as well since 2007, and it was a ripoff of VLC Media Player anyway.

When it prebuffered a video, it did an acceptable job of loading 15 minutes after the point you were at in the video, if videos were even that long back then. Later on, in 2007, thanks to putting more effort into buying out Youtube, they completely neglected their own site, the buffering growing worse until you couldn't even load the first 15 seconds of a video before Google Video had a shitfit and crashed entirely, and the caching was pretty much nonexistent, meaning you couldn't go back in the video without another long prebuffering session.

Things finally got back on track, sort of, when Google Video could suddenly buffer at least an entire 30-minute show when they started hosting shows and documentaries. They removed the AVI extension option later in 2007, but it sucked anyway. It also was touchy with users downloading videos, only allowing people to save SOME of them depending on copyright BS, even though there were obvious ways around it. Thus, it majorly criticized for its lack of organization, a noticeable pricing scheme, and all around caveman-like quality by the time of its death, another bit of history to prove just how much fail Google's first flight into video sharing was, before learning they can just take another video sharing site for themselves.

External Links

• Google Video - Don't bother, it's just Google Search with videos
• Google Video's beginnings

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