Saints Row

Saints Row is a Sandbox crime game series that started off as a Grand Theft Auto clone but evolved into every gamer's stupid fantasies.

Saints Row

At one point in the series, this was as stupid as the weapons got...

... now most of them look they were designed by five-year olds on crack.

On the first part of the game, you create yourself a mute Mary Sue to be the new recruit of a Gang called the 3rd Street Saints. The goal is to Eliminate three other gangs made up of a bunch of cholos, Asians who drive fast cars and, you guessed it, more niggers! At the end of the game your character gets killed in an explosion set up by your gang's leader, never to be seen again until the next game.

During a stream, one of the developers revealed that the ending is only the way it is now because the animators were too fucking lazy to animate a cutscene showing Julius running, and instead, made him walk away looking at his watch. Funny enough, he doesn't wear a watch.

This game is only for the Xbox 360, which makes a great way to troll PS3 and PC users.

Saints Row 2

Saints Row 2 is the same crap like the first one, but where Saints Row 1's main objective was to inflict the negative repercussions of gang life, Saints Row 2's main objectives include streaking, kicking random people in the nuts (even women), and other stupid crap that satisfy the average gamer's desires. As for its plot, you take over the city again, this time from some Japs, Punks, and Stoners.

Even though this time the game is for PS3 and PC, the PC version contains al lot of lag. Use this to your advantage.

The new minigame

A dream for every gamer

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Saint Row: The Third

Now you too can dance like a faggot while a gasoline station blows up behind you

Saint Row: The Third is the reboot of the series and its first cash-cow sequel of many to come. Ever since day one of the game's release, the phrase "Saints Row 4 will be 'wilder' than Saints Row: The Third" has pretty much guaranteed that the series made a turn to Selloutville.

Review Drama

Despite Saint Row: The Third being the most positively received game in the series, critics such as Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw and Angry Joe have criticized it for being too over-the-top, an ironic statement considering that they only liked Saint Row 2 because it was over-the-top.

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Saints Row IV

Pretty much you are the next Black Jesus, aliens kidnap you and your friends, you escape, Earth gets nuked, you save all your friends, and destroy Zinyak's simulation and kill him IRL with super powers and rip his head off and become the next alien leader. Also, Santa Claus appears in a DLC.

Saints Row: Gat out of Hell

You go to hell, play as Gat or Kinzie, fuck shit up there, and then you save the Boss' soul, kill the devil, and take his loli daughter back to the spaceship. Then the game splits into 5 different endings.

Dex, where are you?

Following the disappearence of Dex in a SR2 DLC, many players have wanted to know where was he and get revenge for his betrayal. Turns out, the developers didn't want to include him in SR: TT because they didn't want to alienate new "fans" who didn't know who he was, then, in SR4, Earth explodes and it was seemingly the end of the Dex Saga, but in Gat out of Hell, Dex appears as a generic NPC with a purple hat. He only taunts you and runs away, and you have to kill him a number of times to complete a diversion, but to make him less of a complete waste, he was included for a short moment in a cutscene, where it's shown he will keep dying forever in hell. Even though this is the end, players are unsurprisingly still butthurt about it.

Gallery

Saints Row About missing Pics

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  Professor Genki's Super Reality Climax
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  Giant purple dildo of death
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  Candycane Dildo ;3
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  What really happened to Shaundi at the end of Saints Row: The Third
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  Typical gameplay in Saints Row: The Third
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  Your average Homie in Saints Row: The Third
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  Dead Still alive...
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  Playing too much bullshit in Saints Row the Third can turn you into an emo hacker with a giant plastic hammer. And possibly cancer.

See Also

• Grand Theft Auto
• Naked
• Sasha Grey

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