Spotify

Spotify is a shitty Swedish audio streaming service that claims to allow its users to listen to music for free, but forgets to mention that the service includes promotional LGBT pride ads, artists battling in a pay-to-win war over their dogshit songs, and 73% useless bloat. Their software takes up hundreds of megabytes of space, with a laggy and slow UI full of ads, easily ass-raping your RAM.

The streaming quality is worse than a broken radio from the 1980s and the songs themselves sound like they were recorded on an auto-tuned toaster full of compression and distortion. Rarely will you find anything of worth.

In general, it's much more worthwhile to download your music and listen to it with an audio player, rather than use software that drains as much battery and money as possible, instead of actually playing music files for you. Alternatively, you could use YouTube Music on a web browser and just switch your adblocker on... but then again, YouTube Music has horrible audio quality as well.

Creation

The main person responsible for developing this abomination was a faggot called Daniel Ek, who also worked on the µTorrent project before he began to develop Spotify. He dropped out of college and opened an advertising company (note this guy's passion for ads) called Advertigo, but he has such a strong fetish for money that he sold it in 2006 to another company. There was also a guy named Martin Lorentzo, but nobody really cares about him.

Other services

File:Spotify.png

Spotify's unoriginal logo.

Spotify for Podcasters

Spotify for Shitcasters is just a version of Spotify designed so that retards can pick up a microphone and say whatever the fuck they want and get other retards to listen to them. No more than 20 people use this shit. The only reason podcasts still exist on Spotify is because Joe Rogan uses it.

Spotify for Artists

Spotify for Autists is a version of Spotify for the people that believe they have a good singing voice, or those that produce their own shitty songs to publish in the Spotify library. In general, nobody uses this shit either, especially when better alternatives like Soundcloud exist.