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BYOND
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This article needs a serious clean up
Somebody should do something about it. |
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BYOND(Build Your Own Net Net Dream) is a great programming language used to create anime games where you train on logs for over 9000 hours so you can be "OMG SO KEWL!!11!". The community consists of three different groups. First there are the 30 year old virgins who actually make decent games and make up the "elite" members of the community. Secondly there are the Narutards who steal other game sources to make their own original games and make themselves level 26 GM. Lastly, there are the lolfags that don't make or play games. They just exist. BYOND, being a powerful engine with complex programming language, and the majority of it's community being mostly 14 year olds who have an IQ below room temperature, often gets flooded with questions on "LOL HOW I MAKE CHAT?"(which may I mention is BUILT INTO THE FUCKING ENGINE.)
BYOND was founded in 1999 by two college students who, instead of getting laid, chose to spend all of their spare time making an engine easier than your mom. These two students are named Tom and Dan, who cleverly published it under a namesake of Dantom. Dan eventually got laid and left, but we all know he's tied up in Tom's closet with an asshole wider than the Grand Canyon.
For a fee of $24 per year, you receive a small collection of extra perks:
- A blog to bitch about other members or advertise your awesome Naruto game.
- The ability to rank games, allowing their perceived popularity to bloat even further.
- Extra shit from games that reward BYOND members.
- A misplaced sense of elitism.
- The ability to disable ads(for those dipshits still using IE that don't have an ad blocker plugin of some manner).
Creating Games
- Download any previously stolen source code.
- Locate the administration section and put your key inside all the strings.
- Change the text that appears in the window's title bar.
- Upload it.
- Claim it's yours.
Congratulations, you have your own original MMORPG, now go fucking kill yourself you worthless piece of shit.
Last Thursday, the website was updated so games could be either rejected, listed, or featured. If your game was rejected, you should go to your games feedback and complain about how MY NARUTO GAME ISN'T A RIP BECAUSE D-CIRE GAVE ME PERMISSION TO USE THE SOURCE HE GOT FROM GOKUMASAKI WHO GOT PERMISSION FROM NARUTOXSASAKUFAN WHO GOT IT WHEN NARUTO FINALE WAS RIPPED BY ZIDDY99!!11!!!1 If your game was listed, go kill yourself because your piece of shit wasn't good enough to be featured. If your game was featured, congratulations; You now have rights to have everyone on BYOND to suck your -1 inch penis since you're obviously a virgin and always will be.
Updates
BYOND originally started as a piece of shit MUD engine but over the years was splattered with layers of polish. That's right. BYOND is the polished shit of the programming world.
Version 4.0
Perhaps the best thing to ever happen to the polished shit, 4.0 gave developers the possibility to add shitty interfaces to their Naruto and Pokemon games. As you can probably guess, the interfaces are always blue papyrus font on a yellow or blue background so that the interface burned your eyes just as bad as the shitty icons.
Version 455.1046
After a month of hype and false enthusiasm, the engine added support for isometric games. As you can guess, there is not a single game made with isometric maps because nobody cares about Tom's attempt to be cool with pseudo-3D.
Version 490.1101
Tom decided to finally add support for pixel movement after ten years of being nagged to add support for it instead of changing the website every other week.
Being Cool
Because the majority of BYOND's community are retarded anime fanboys, seeming like you're cool is no difficult feat. Try these tips to become cool on BYOND:
- Create a game and lure in some random people as administration (see above for details).
- Always pretend you know what you're talking about, no matter how wrong you know you are.
- Whenever you see a player in a game that is ostensibly female, flirt with it and attempt to flaunt your totally awesome game or sprites.
- Never admit that the trolls are smarter than you are.
- Make a bunch of terrible icons, then gloat about how great an artist you are.
- Gloat about how you're the best coder evar because you can make a login proc with Deadron's Character Handling library.
- Use the term programmer instead of coder to make people believe you can do shit when you can't.
If these tips are too difficult for you to follow, you should consider taking the easy step and pressing alt+f4.
Members
BYOND has a plethora of cool people and trolls that visit the site on a daily basis.
- Tadashi
A twelve year old lie that is well known for being a stupid cunt and trading Naruto sources.
- Tom
The great mullet-haird biker who laid the polished turd of BYOND. Aside from being an avid biker, little is known about him.
- Lummox Jr
Lummox JR
Dan's replacement, Lummox is known for being a jew and being over 9000.
- EmpirezTeam
The greatest troll to ever lurk the internets. He is known for starting the narto frog meme and overusing it. (TRUTH: He's a lazy cunt who has nothing better to do.
- SuperAntx
Probably the coolest guy on BYOND, he made the only decent game on BYOND. Decadence, being an original game, nevar has any players. Evar.
- UPD4T3
The only artist on BYOND that knows how to anti-alias. Oh, did I mention he's a stoner?
- Kidpaddle45
Made over 9000 games. Never finished a single one.
- Dinomaster45
THE GREATEST PIXEL ARTIST EVAR.
- Kpsyiga
OMAIGAWD. I'LL NEVAR FIND LOVE. NOW FUCK MY E-PUSSY PL0X.(drama whore.)
- Mechana24
A fat shitty programmer who is known for cyber-rapeing loli girls and being a fat weaboo. Did I mention that he's fat?
- Forum_Account
If Tom and Lummox were God, than Forum_Account would be Jesus.
- Zetaiva
Will always ask for sources and if he doesn't get it will blackmail you with a bullshit Photoshop.
- Ziddy99
The kid who sucks cock for membership then pretends he's rich.
- D-Cire
Known for scamming art from people and his cyber boyfriend.
- Kozuma3
Ripper
- Camerongray
Ripper.
- Cart12
Ripper
- Scotty-V
Asian.
- Avainer1
Decent Troll who has nothing else to do with his life.
- ExPixel
The kid who tries to make a new compiler so Tom would give him BYOND admin lvl 9001
- Teka123
Rich fag
- ElWookie
The retard who thinks he can troll, and announces 10 games per day and never finish any.
- Ultimsharingan
The retard who does nothing but troll Phoenix all day. Single handedly made both Archonex and Valekor leek anal fluid just from his trolling; his only good point.
Fun Games
Space Station 13 is pretty cool if you're a Something Awful or Facepunch fag.
Quotes
—BYOND member Spunky girl. (You know? The BYOND SLUT) | ||
—Some random BYOND member, who will come back in 4 months tops | ||
—Byond member who got caught, and doesn't want to look geeky(to late) in front of the other BYONDorks | ||
—BYOND member Poal, a hair away from opting for the final solution | ||
—BYOND member Dark Wizard, bitching at BYOND admins for being trolled. | ||
—BYOND member Masterdan, attempting to muster some sort of reply on Propaganda | ||
—BYOND Member Ganing, causing pointless edrama. | ||
—BYOND Member Kalzar, shifting the blame to the REAL culprit. | ||
—Moar nigger shit by that nigger AB | ||
—BYOND member Rumia, claiming to be great after making shitty icons. | ||
External Links
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BYOND is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |