Dark Souls

Dark Souls is an action RPG developed by the non-jewish company From Software. Known for its anally devastating difficulty, Dark Souls has gained a reputation amongst gaymers as a game that only elitist hardcoar gaymers who are gods at cowadoodys that got bored at pwning n00bz play. This is entirely untrue. It has a spiritual predecessor called Demon Souls that no one played, but this isn't the article for shit that no one cares about. On another interesting note, this game has a shithole PC port that the fans themselves asked for.

This is the average equipment choice of the pros.

Gameplay

The gameplay is fairly simple to start off with, but being made by japs, it is over complicated. All you generally have to do is swing your dinky weapon at enemies until they die. OR if you're a casual, you can use spam pyromancy or magic. There are a few starting classes to choose from and depending on which class you choose generally doesn't mean jack shit in the long run. There are also starting gifts to choose from, but all of them but one is useless.

Starting Classes

• Warrior

Generic warrior kind of guy. An okay starting class.

• Knight

Tank class. For people who have no skill and just run through shit.

• Wanderer

Emo faget class. For the edgier sort of folk.

• Cleric

Christfags #1 starting class. For pussies that like to heal with miracles and swing around blunt instruments.

• Pyromancer

The homeless guy who lives under the bridge on North Main St. apparently got a role in a video game. Uses pyromancy which is pretty cool and shit.

• Thief

The other edgy class. Starts off with the best starting gift by default allowing you to get another gift because the game thinks you're special.

• Bandit

Inferior shittier version of Knight class and tank version of the Thief. Has the highest STR of all of the classes.

• Hunter

Wears pimpin leather armor and has high DEX. Pretty much the best class in the game.

• Sorcerer

Gayest and shittiest of all of the classes. Uses magic which is completely useless.

• Deprived

Besides hunter it's the only other class really worth playing. You start off nekkid.

How a session of Dark Souls usually looks.

Weapons

To sum up the game it's just a whole clusterfuck of weapons thrown in. Most of the normal, shittier looking weapons, are the best in the game. And of course the big and bad weapons that the cool kids use like the Greatsword of Artorias or basically any boss weapon, are complete shit and only exist to fill cosplayfags wet dreams about having a threesome with Ornstien and Smough.

List of Widely accepted GOOD Weapons

• Lucerne
• Claymore
• Balder Side Sword (Balder Swag Sword)
• Demon's Greataxe
• Man-serpent Greatsword
• Falchion
• Ricard's Rapier
• Any Black Knight weapon
• Uchigatana (Or Iatio for fags)
• Painting Guardian Sword (Almost shitty for its piss-poor range)
• Shit

List of Shitty Weapons

• Nearly every boss weapon
• Every dragon weapon
• Any weapon not listed in the list above

Story

So you want to know the story huh? Well too fucking bad because if this game had a story it wouldn't be as "deep" or "immersive" as it is. In reality it's just laziness from the devs who are just laughing their asses off because you faggots thought a fucking pendant that said IT DOESN'T DO SHIT actually did shit. Okay so you should at least get acquainted with the fucktards who make up the "wonderful" land of Lordran.

• Lord Gwyn

God of shit and piss. Is the final boss of the game and is extremely easy if you can parry.

• Gravelord Nito

Edgiest thing in existence. Made up of a bunch of dead bodies. Another really easy boss.

• Seath the Scaless

Dragon with a small, scaless penis. Betrayed the dragons for Gwyn's entire porn collection. Kidnapped lolis and turned them into tentacle rape monster thingys.

• Gwynevere

Some bitch who isn't even in the game. Gives you something so you can jizz in it. Also has tits bigger than the player character's head.

• Dark Moon Gwyndolin

Token trap of the game with snakes up his skirt. Whiny little bitch who hides in his father's fake tomb. The bitch at the Anor Londo bonfire is his hoe.

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