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Bill Nye
William Sanford Nye✡, more commonly known as Bill Nye the Ultra-Authoritarian Science-Denial Guy (born November 25, 1955), is a professional Abe Lincoln lookalike who somehow managed to get lucky and landed his very own educational show on PBS in the mid-1990s – which is where you probably remember him from. Despite playing a "scientist" on television for half a decade, Bill Nye is still a complete fucking idiot and has only just recently been resurrected by the evil-doers at Netflix after spending 20-years in cryo-stasis next to Walt Disney's frozen head and The Backstreet Boys.
Following his revival, Bill Nye decided that he would attempt to save the world from Donald Trump by constantly whining about global warming, denying the scientific fact that chromosomes determine sex and actually suggesting that the United States adopt China's one-child policy in an attempt to curb carbon emissions.
Why Bill Nye The Science Guy is Fail
- Is a Jew.
- Had kids on his show to make science appear cool, rad and far out! And because he loves kids.
- Thinks puns are funny.
- Is 68.
Why Bill Nye The Science Guy is Win
- Successfully trolled the education system.
- Wears a bow-tie.
- Did not have his iPod stolen.
- Is Ted Theodore Logan's dad.
- Proved how stupid people in Texas are.
- Gave a lecture about keeping our environment clean and related get-fabulously-rich schemes at RIT.
- Creates SOME lulz.
- Guest starred in an episode of Stargate Atlantis
- Fucked a woman way, WAY out of his league- Soledad O'Brien- while co-hosting a TV science show with her.
DID YOU KNOW THAT....
- BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL
- Bill Nye is a Jew.
- Having only a BSc degree in mechanical engineering, Bill Nye is not a real scientist, just like anyone with a degree in any given social "science" field
- Nobody likes science.
- Repeating a word fifty times is funny.
- Nobody wants to fucking see Bill Nye after 6th grade.
- Bill Nye did WTC
- The moon reflects the light of the sun, which means the Bible is true. Proof here. (Warning: Flooded by basement dwellers.)
- BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL
- Bill Nye is WAY too proud of his only two contributions to science - the Mars Rover sundial and the 747 "tube".
- Deep-voiced men hold cameras and do unfunny commentary for Science Television.
- Bill Nye has a new TV show called The Eyes of Nye with no deep-voiced man doing commentary.
- The deep-voiced announcer on his old show was also the announcer on Super Smash Bros. Brawl.
- He has planned a conspiracy with the next U.S. President to legalize child porn.
- BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL
- Is over-circumcised.
- Would have cured Pig AIDS if you fuckers hadn't canceled his show.
- Some middle school teachers still show his show in their classes, because as we all know it will make kids little science geniuses.
- BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL
NOW YOU KNOW....
Bill Nye facts
There are a select few who believe that Bill Nye is the son of God and the second coming of Christ, and they own this website. They tout facts proving Bill Nye's greatness such as:
- Bill Nye can split atoms with his bare hands.
- Bill Nye's sperm count is measured in moles/milliliter.
- Bill Nye knows the momentum of an electron... AND where it is.
- Bill Nye decides if Schrödinger's cat is alive or dead.
Bill Nye pwns astrology
On his children's show, The Eye of Nye, Bill Nye clearly explained why astrology is full of shit by pointing out the obvious, that the constellations have moved from their original dates, and thus people are not the zodiac signs they thought they were. This caused massive butthurt and identity crises among astrofags everywhere and they keep flooding this video to this very day.
—Abyss Reflector, unaware that "scientism" is what gives him the food, clean water, and shelter that allows him to survive on a day to day basis. |
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Bill Nye "god-tier" videos
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See also
- Albert Einstein
- Bill Clinton
- Bill Cosby
- Billy Mays
- Carl Sagan
- Cedric The Entertainer
- Fred Phelps
- Scientology
- WHAT HAS SCIENCE DONE?
Bill Nye is part of a series on Visit the Social Justice Portal for complete coverage. |
Featured article April 30 & May 1, 2017 | ||
Preceded by Joss Whedon |
Bill Nye | Succeeded by TBD |