Clock Crew
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The Clock Crew is a group of flaming homosexuals originating from the Internets cesspool Newgrounds. At least 100 years ago, a Newgrounds user by the name of StrawberryClock submitted an epic Flash animation entitled A. Unfortunately the symbolic significance of the film went directly over the heads of Newgrounds' native 13 year old boys, and it was removed from the website. StrawberryClock followed up A with B, which was similarly epic and rich in symbolism, and to the horror of 13 year old boys worldwide, it was preserved via the grace of God, obtained through several hours of holy fellatio. The Clock Crew is one of the few things on Newgrounds that is even remotely funny. Dubious - Discuss
The preservation of B allowed it time to be appreciated by those endowed with mega ultra super genius. and so B was followed up with, among other things, such masterpieces as C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z, and a remake of A. Without Clock Crew movies such as these, our small world would be NOTHING.
Of course, when the faggots of Newgrounds started bitching about B a few rose up from the fetid hole in defense of the spam. These were AppleClock, RaspberryClock, and OrangeClock. These three formed the animation/spam group known as the Clock Crew, which has spent most of its existence trolling and spamming Newgrounds.
With the emergence of the Clock Crew, StrawberryClock laid claim to the Newgrounds Portal as his domain, hence the CC saying “Welcome, we run Newgrounds.” This infuriated many of the gay boys of Newgrounds, starting the Anti-Clock movement.
As the CC expanded, so did the Anti-Clock movement, which spent their time making cartoons depicting the Clocks being brutally murdered, executed, and generally reacting to cheap spam the way 13-year old boys do. The CC responded with love and affection, which served to further enrage the Anti-Clocks (because the CC cartoons were pushing crude hentai games and porn slideshows off the portal). Furious, it caused the divide between Clock-Lovers and Clock-Haters in the shit-pit to expand, creating a polarization of the Newgrounds audience that exists to this day.
The Clock Crew once prided itself on the hateful reviews it got from the Newgrounds usergroup, but sadly, because of the new whistle system, and the faggotry of review mods, some priceless pieces of internet history have been lost forever.
Notable amongst the lost reviews are those of the most famous of Anti-Clocks: ki1o. His reviews (lost forever) spawned a trend within CC cartoons, showing him as a faggoty villain who wants to control the Newgrounds portal. LeafClock claims to be the former ki1o, having been “brought to the light” by KnottsberryClock’s The Portal is not Enough. This statement has yet to actually be confirmed.
Current State Of Affairs
But being the bastard child of a gaping shithole in internet like Newgrounds, the Clock Crew too is filled with faggotry. Currently the CC is filled with weeaboos, gaiafags, and pretentious art queers. Not to mention the mods are extremely butthurt and you will be banned instantly if you say something funny or try to fit logic into something.
Clock Crew Staff
- LeekClock – Seems like a swell enough fellow at first glance, but he is really an impotent coprophiliac, Dutch cuntbag, and suspected babyfur. He and SoupClock (another coprophiliac) started a massive animation project called The Runs, which flooded the portal with cartoons related to farts, poo-poos, and the like. Also Leek has terrible teeth. One time he went out to spread “Clock Love” in the streets of Dublin in a homemade SBC fursuit (although technically not a fursuit, it comes pretty damn close). He likes to touch little boys and his mother has swamp-crotch. More on Leek can be found here.
- TreeClock – A ban-happy, wapanese douche with a One Piece obsession. He also has an overwhelming hatred of puppies and spends a good deal of his time beating them when not fapping to One Piece fan-dubs on youtube.
- RenegadeClock – A twofaced basement-dweller with only one redeeming quality: his fanatical hatred of Foamy and IllWillPress. Also a suspected babyfur.
- SageClock – A sad excuse of a man who spends a great deal of his time making crappy games and rambling on about things no one else cares about. Other than that his pastimes include arguing with 13-year-old boys over videogames and consoles, and getting new members to e-fellate him.
- SlurpeeClock – A gay boy who smells of processed beef and venison, a trait that runs in his family. This day-old meat smell is why he and his family are occasionally attacked by wolves and terrorists. He denies the accusation that he is a furry, and will ban you for even contemplating the thought of calling him on his disgusting fetish for Krystal.
- GoldenClock – E-Badass who has been spamming the Clock Crew for years. Many CC members mistake his trolling as the antics of a senior member, when it is just his incredible e-acting. Golden is currently Google searching for pics of gay men.
- CraisinClock – Resembles a shriveled nigger testicle. Doesn’t do much.
- SoupClock – A shit-loving fag who enjoys making crappy animations. Not only did he orchestrate The Runs, but before joining the Clock Crew he and a fellow shit-fag started a group to celebrate their coprophilia. After his feces-lover group went under, he found fellow shit-lovers in the CC. He and Leek give each other rimjobs daily.
- AbsintheClock – Art fag who has an unhealthy obsession with Salvador Dali. Does anything more really need to be said?
- AlbinoClock – Spends most of his time in the Debate Forum. He bans anyone who doesn’t back up what they say with links (i.e. every sentence). He takes the internet very seriously, each banning or argument won inflating his e-go. He also does a shitload of drugs.
- MonkeyClock (aka Munglai) - A teenage boy who is out of it most of the time, and occasionally stops by the boards to post pics of himself with facepaint and to tell people their ideas are dumb. He also has a habit of making polls such as "Who would win in a fight: a man with a ballpoint pen, or a hyena on a segway?" Sometimes, when feeling really creative he will creat a little text adventure about some celebrity he likes. Examples: MorganQuest 64 and Keith Richards' Detective Adventure
- VirusClock – Don’t trust him. He’s managed to convince everyone in the CC that he is a great guy, but he’s really trying to lure them into a false sense of security. He plans on meeting them all IRL, inviting them to his house, and feeding them to his mother’s wailing, carnivorous cunt.
- SilvercherryClock – A 13-year-old boy from Newgrounds with mod powers.
- ClamClock - Hate filled oldbie that has actually walked through the atlantic ocean in order to rape the dog of a brit who called him a faggot over IRC. Often calls others faggots to cover up his own homosexual tendencies.
- Losperman – Butthurt faggot, no one cares if you're portrayed in a positive light. Obviously seeking attn from his peers due to his Oedipus Complex.
- DurianClock - Some asshole who's never online, it's anyone's guess as to how he became a mod. He's also a narcissistic cunt who faps to his old yearbook photos.
- Biggskoo - A wigger and internet tough guy who used to spend a lot of time playing Star Wars Galaxies and consuming large amounts of purple liquid.
- ArchonClock - Allegedly the one crew member with an IQ of over 9000, this guy lacks any sort of sense of humor. Seeing the Clock Crew's spam as some form of artistic Absurdism, he goes out of his way to make longwinded rants to anyone not strictly following his views. He too is dutch, and loves LARP and Little boys. Rumored to be using the Clock Crew to gain world domination.
- Zombie Lincoln – A shitty animator and wannabe historian. His sexual attraction to Abraham Lincoln has led to a bizarre delusion that he is Lincoln brought back from the dead. He is also a shit writer and philosopher. And like the philosophers of old he has an unhealthy addiction to little boys, which he blames on the premature death of “his” son. He is also the nemesis of another CC member, DWARFINATORClock. Their battles epic are recorded in the CC archives.
Other Notable Members
- BlueClock - Runs a Computer Club and who's shitty animations appear to make him worth mentioning.
- Elements Clock -
Just a general fag. The best member of clock crew.No, he is a fag.
- Insomnia - Apparently gets pussy all of the time, according to him on the forums. http://www.clockcrew.cc/talk/showthread.php?t=85289 Clocks are sexi.
- FloppyDisk Clock - faggot
- SeedClock - A wannabe elitist who enjoys fapping to naked black men and trolling newfags
- Billard Ball 10 Clock - An immature faggot responsible for his infamous "lol si u" post. Also a closet furfag.
- MantisClock - A 13yo Rapist.
- FloundermanClock - A paedophile /b/tard who doesn't even participate in the Clock Crew anymore, but uses the forums solely to troll ClamClock.
- RupeeClock - Closet furfag that seems to have an unhealthy obsession with Tails.
- Pop-Tart Clock - Nigger who makes an unhealthy amount of flash movies.
- Sonucais - Weeaboo faggot that shits out crappy sprite movies.
- KatamariClock - Also known as K3ltr0n, a girl who is obsessed with cats. The main target of white knighting in the Clock Crew.
- TurdClock - Strawberry clock's bitch. He always gets abused by StrawberryClock in the flash he makes himself.
- Monstermunchclock - football hooligan with a short temper who's easy to troll.
Clock Crew is Dead
After years of unfunny bullshit Clock Crew was killed off way before the year 2006. No one even noticed because this meme sucked so much ass.
See also
- Pube Muppet - Hello my good man, I am the Pube Muppet.
- Rape Clock
- Tricky the Clown
External Links
- A bunch of life-altering Clock Crew movies
- Juicy Fruit, the funniest Clock Crew movie ever
- The Clock Crew's website
- The Clock Crew's other website
- The Lifetime Channel
- What happens when an user comments negatively on a CC submission.