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Dragon Cave
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
This is an old revision of this page, as edited by imported>Dildo Baggins at 18:35, 13 May 2011. It may differ significantly from the current revision.
Dragon cave is a conspiracy to glue all the Teenage Girls in the Internets to something other than their webcams run by a complete drama whore who goes by the name of Theodore J. Lipscomb (TJ). Ok, so it's not really a game so much as it's really staring vacantly at a screen clicking madly while your soul is being sucked into the void, and TJ is not so much a moderator as the Queen Twat, but who's counting?
Very sad Pedobear shaking his head and crying nearby.
Will freak out at the mention of harming pixels
Yellow Snow- Dragon Cave's favorite treat!
Elite Dragon Cave players have permanent PMS. Almost all of them have raging hardons for TJ and gladly suck his e-penis whenever he whips it out in front of them (which is frequently). They are even Smarter than the normal Dragon Cave users and love to flaunt it at every single opportunity. Time not spent sucking E-Penis is spent roleplaying out Awesome Dragon Roleplay Characters notable for having zero physical descriptions and almost always the same personalities.
The moderators are useless Aspies noted for their specialmaturity levels and being total cunts. The loudest of them are notable Otherkin and are even more protective of the Dragon Cave bullshit than normal as they don't know the difference between real dragons and shitty pixel art "dragons". Time not spent jerking it to Dragon "art" is spent bashing newbies into the ground for asking WTF is up with the total lack of information on how to play this game. God forbid someone let slip one of Dragon Cave's Awesome Secrets!
Rules of Dragon Cave
What happens when you tell the Secretz
Dragon Cave operates under a strict code of silence. Anyone who so much as says a peep about the many secrets of the dragon cave will be eaten by T.J. Once any word is uttered about the many incredible secrets of Dragon Cave, the banhammer Comes down leading to Loli Pancakes and lots of Bawwwwing.
Dragon Cave Players are encouraged to necro topics instead of creating new topics as, according to faux moderator Sabbita ""It saves bandwidth". Apparently Bandwidth and server space are the same in Dragon Cave due to some quirk of computer physics. As a consequence, posting any thread, even if it only barely resembles a locked thread from three years ago, results in thread locking and possibly a big celebration concluded with the summoning of the Party Van.
The Admins are also apparently very fragile and possibly emo....
If you have an issue with the site admin, take it to PMs. If you post it in the forums, everyone will jump into the thread, causing lag and stress and bad feelings, eventually resulting in the site admin feeling so worthless because everyone is insulting them that they just pack up and leave.-- sabbita/Layn (link here)
... so please, coddle the Admins. They NEED you!
This place is just screaming to be trolled.
TJ09: the Queen Twat
If the game being a boring clickfest run by overprotective commies who are so afraid that you'll figure out water dragons hatch from blue eggs wasn't enough, behold the trainwreck that is TJ09- the Queen Twat and creator of this atrocity.
"TJ09", AKA T.J. Lipscomb, is a 17-year old from Shelton, Connecticut with a massive yet amazingly fragile ego. Most likely he is a furfag, otherkin and most likely secretly a cuntboy. TJ's hobbies include stealing shitty pixel art from videogames, getting nailed for stealing shitty pixel art from videogames, seducing teenage girls into making him shitty replacement art, and throwing tantrums when others don't do exactly as he says.
One day in the fall of 2008 the teenage girls got sick and tired of the Admins' trigger-happy banhammer and censorship of even the most basic aspects of play and decided to make a thread called How To Treat your Users with the hopes that TJ would mend his evil ways. The resulting emo comments and flamestorm reached a category five on the lulz scale. Here are a few choice excerpts from the horse's mouth.
'You know what? You're right. Clearly I cannot handle both what is going on in life right now without having my stress roll over into how I act on this forum. So instead, I'll abstain from visiting this forum until things calm down to the point where I can actually deal with people in a polite manner.--TJ09 @ Nov 5 2008, 05:09 PM
People. I did not post here to be a drama queen and attract everyone's pity. The OP has valid points, so stop flaming them. --TJ09 @ Nov 5 2008, 06:06 PM
The Site Admin TJ09 (T.J. Lipscomb) changed his title to Clearly too rude for this forum after locking the thread.
Mark of a butthurt fangirl
A great big Bawwwww rose out of the forums after the How to Treat your Users thread was locked with all the girls scared that TJ had left the site 4EVA!!! Dozens of members started sporting "I support TJ" buttons and banners while bawwing extra loud at everyone who suggested that Mayyybe TJ was wrong and that maybe he needed to grow a pair and stop being such a twat. Dozens of "we support TJ", "We Love TJ" and "please come screw us TJ!" threads cropped up, spamming out all notable content from the forums in most sections of the site. A few users pledged to leave the forums as well in honor of TJ's leaving the forums.
Though everyone hoped they would not return, most never left and neither did TJ. Instead he instead began lurking instead of moderating his own forums leading to massive spam and after listening to butthurt fangirls crying over him supposedly leaving the site 4EVA!! he posted a news post called "Uhou Idcesbot!"
Uhou Idcesbot!
Asshattery in Furfag-speak
What started as a news post in Saurian (no shit, TJ is so lame he makes announcements in the language from the Starfox games) became a rant fest of epic proportions once someone found a Real Life picture of TJ and posted it. TJ saw this, panicked and wiped the thread to try to remove all traces. He then proceeded to show how much more mature than the rest of the forum he is....
Translation:
Well aren't you all reaaaaaaaaaaaaal mature. srsoy. Break my forum... psh.
By the, this topic is far from record-setting. News topics have gotten to 2YY pages before.
This had absolutely nothing to do with the initial post into which the new "anouncement" was edited and everything to do with the fact that apparently the Dragon Cave forums handle massive numbers of posts about as well as TJ handles his users. The display of asshattery and wiping the thread of all posts did not stem the tide of posts, however, and the thread was up to over 200 posts and rising within 20 minutes of the wipe, many of which basically could be summarized as Stfu. Feeling butthurt that his cry for attention and attempt to cover-up his ugly mug failed to pan out as intended, TJ wiped the thread a second time, locking it, and completely shut down the forums. When the forums came back up online the above image had been deleted.
Her main claim to fame is being even more paranoid and anal than 50 Elite Dragon Cave users combined! She flits around the forum to spew her opinion everywhere and actually think it means something, when really what most of the kids is roll their eyes and skip her posts. Newbies think she's a mod. TJ's fangirls think she's a god. The rest of us think she needs to Shut the fuck up.
When not being a drama whore, Sabbita is busily churning out nauseatingly-bad dragon "sprites". She likes to whine when it looks like her sprites are not the favorites in a thread because she's so special.
Crazywargod is like Sabbita/Layn 2.0. More helpful and annoying than ever, crazywargod seems to think he is a mod and therefore has the authority to tell people when to shut up, continuing to attempt to get in the last word himself, however unreadable those "last words" may be.
Often seen in debate topics, he is adamant on starting shit he cannot finish, and when he finally realizes he has been outwit, he quickly backs off and demands all users do the same. After all, it's the only respectful thing to do!eleventy!!
In the local Art Nazi thread (OMG posting the sprites with credit is BAD, m'kay, and results in polite mails to STOP SPREADING TEH SECRETZ) they actually found and posted a link to this thread.
Thanks for the FREE traffic to all guide sites like this that would have otherwise gone unnoticed, thus preserving your secrets! Thanks, geniuses.
Preserved for posterity, some posts of interest.
I don't think this can be reported just for being incredibly offensive, but it does have a few dragon stages and some information about them. http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/User:3tails/Dragon_Cave Just a warning: it is incredibly offensive. And sab - both you and TJ are mentioned personally.
If this has already been mentioned, my bad. -- SockPuppet Strangler Feb 10 2009, 04:37 PM
........................................who. do. I. talk. to?
I emailed the support contact. the disclaimer said that guides are meant to be "funny" and anything that goes beyond will be deleted. pointed out how offensive it is. -- sabbita/Layn Feb 10 2009, 04:40 PM
I already brought it up with the mods, and the basic consensus is tacking encyclopedia dramatica would cause more trouble than it's worth. I personally would love to see that page gone though. -- Pokemonfan13 Feb 10 2009, 04:50 PM
Ugh...ED...god I hate that site. It disgusts me, but there's really nothing we can do. It's like going to 4chan and telling them to stop acting like morons. Not going to happen.
and I believe that really....we shouldn't be going after these guides so maliciously...it's just making us all look like raging control freaks...fact is, we don't have power over the rest of the internet.If, like Komodo said, they're making profit off it somehow, then we can get them, but if they're just posting it in a forum and not making profit off it....nothing we can do. It's not like it's THAT difficult to figure out what turns into what anyway, and as long as they're not advertising the guides on here, they aren't really doing anything wrong, yes to us they are, but the fact is our ToS holds no value at another site.
If one gets super popular and becomes annoying, then we should go try to get it down, but we can't get rid of every guide, we shouldn't really be trying. -- shikaru Feb 10 2009, 05:45 PM
(this means SPREAD THE LINK!)
.... T.T They're claiming the "educational" part of fair use in copyright law from what I can tell, and that is NOT what the educational thing is for. It's so that schools can copy material to hand out to students. -- Pokemonfan13 Feb 10 2009, 06:41 PM
Oh, and I'm probably going to end up wiping most of this thread tomorrow when I have time -- Pokemonfan13 Feb 10 2009, 08:01 PM (wuss Nazi.)
sent an email to their (ED) "support" email..... and guess what? their "support" email, for you to contact in case you have a problem with it being "insulting" rather than "funny".... doesn't exist! lol! -- sabbita/Layn Feb 12 2009, 01:42 PM
can I ask a question? isn't it kind of silly to post the links to all these egg guides when you don't want people to know what they're getting?? -- manticore Feb 13 2009, 10:02 PM
You know guys, it is best to ignore ED. It's run and maintained by Anon, and therefore there is no way to actually get them to stop doing whatever it is they feel like doing. Any attempt to "retaliate" against them only results in a longer ED article and higher potential for us becoming targeted for a raid.
Though it should be noted that whoever wrote the article is clearly not familiar with the rules of the Internet. It claims that this forum is full of teenage girls, and one of the Rules is that there are no girls on the Internet. :V -- Lythiaren Feb 13 2009, 08:31 PM
QUOTE (Loli @ Feb 15 2009, 03:44 AM)
How in the world is that cheating? If we had some magical program that auto hatched eggs or changed what came out of it that would be a cheat. It's called a guide for a reason genius! If you don't want people to know without hatching their own eggs you might as well block access to all scrolls too. Most people would be able to put two and two together and realize what adults and hatchlings come out of what eggs after seeing a few scrolls. Hell that's how I decided on my own eggs in the first place.
QUOTE (Layn @ Feb 15 2009, 12:51 AM)
the point of the cave is to learn what egg hatches into what on your own. that is how tj designed it. Posting guides is against this, as they reveal to anyone what becomes what, and takes away teh challenge that is the game. learning what tehy hatch into still takes some thought.
Do you even read what you post or are you just parroting that from everyone else? -- Seiken no Hisui in reply to Sabbita/Layn and Loli Feb 15 2009, 03:57 AM
Thread Wipe!! with rewrite of first post: This is not a thread for discussion. Just post the link or links in question and leave. Do not respond to others' posts unless you have pertinent information to add. If you find dragcave art on a website and it is not being posted as a collectible or in strict relation to dragcave (as a scroll link, etc) please post a link to it here or report it to the site if it is one such as deviantart where they will remove it. Even if it has a "from dragcave" tag somewhere it is still likely to be theft, as you are not allowed to use dragcave art without permission from the artist (and the artists are not likely to have given permission). This is especially true if the poster has edited it and is not giving credit. I greatly dislike egg guides, but as long as they are not claiming to have permission and there aren't any adds on the guide don't bother posting them. They're more trouble to take down than they're worth. -- This post has been edited by Pokemonfan13 on Feb 15 2009, 08:07 PM (contradict much?)
It took you this long to figure out loli is a troll?
What Dragon Cave does not want you to know
These are the highly guarded secrets of Dragon Cave. Posting these on the Dragon Cave or any affiliated site will get you banned, flamed until black and cripsy by teenage girls, and then eaten by TJ. In the interest of free speech and saving time for anyone who might ever contemplate joining Dragon Cave, these dark secrets must be brought to light! Without these dearly-kept secrets there would be far fewer 16-year-old girls glued to the screen and madly clicking and Pedobear would be much happier.
Updated: Now there's a Wikia site dedicated to this site. To help put less information and shitty pixel art on here, read what you want at that site. Queen Twat found his brain and realised other people had brains too and could actually work out what dragon came from what egg. About fucking time too.
On the night of April Fools, TJ decided to whip out his e-penis and replaced half the sprites on DC with Pokemon sprites. Much BAWWWWING arose as the Art Nazis realised that for the few minutes they used those sprites without credit, Nintendo would sue DC. Others simply Bawwwed about the admin's account getting hacked while some posted that they couldn't get to sleep because they were crying too hard about not knowing what was happening (unfortunately we couldn't retrieve this post as TJ deleted the thread, surprise). Yet no one stopped to realise it was April Fool's night anyway.
St Patrick's Day
Many members decided to join the usual Elite DC players in awaiting to see if TJ would release new shitty pixel art. Much to their dismay this didn't happen plus the fact that so many people where on the site, DC had a server crash. Bawwing occured once more as people could not check up on their dragons and even more Bawwing occured when their pixels got killed as the server was down for 2-3 weeks. Once TJ restored the server though, the 16 year old girls hailed his work and sucked his e-penis hard.
"The dragon god TJ is all merciful... if you can bring Cherry Blossoms back, I will worship/idolize you forever..." - Moonfeather13 Jul 23 2009, 04:05 PM
Asshattery at its greatest:
You enter the cave as you did daily to adopt a dragon hatchling or egg, adding to your family. But what you find were no dragons, no eggs, only something else, something much more sinister than the annoying Lagmonster Dragon you tackled once before. Piles of adult dragon and hatchling bones scattered about as well as egg shells of various dragons. A low growl is heard as you enter the cave and soon you find your path blocked by a sinister dragon that was feared by all. Sharp fangs gnawing in flesh as claws ripped apart everything in its path. Solid datachip wings were folded to its back as its red eyes of death make you shriek in terror....you were staring into the eyes of none other than the Datamonster!
All was thought to be lost for the beloved dragons and there was thought to be no hope in rescuing them, no matter how hard the owners tried. The Datamonster was just too strong! Just then, a knight stood out amongst them all by the name of TJ09.
Raising his trusty sword-of-recovering, TJ09 took a mighty swing at the Datamonster's vile bloated stomach. The awesome power of sword rent asunder the evil beast hide, releasing and reviving all the dragons trapped within. The Datamonster let out a final mighty roar of anguish, clawing at the sky as if trying return the escaping dragons to his gaping maw. Having released the dragons TJ09 made a mighty leap and with one sure sweep of his magnificent sword beheaded the vile Datamonster, ending it's threat once and for all!
But, unbeknown to TJ and the revived dragons, The ferocious and evil Datamonster still clung to the mortal coil. As the brave knight walked away, the cybernetic beast's limbs began to twitch, nearly imperceptible to the eye. Then the camera panned in on the creature's severed head, as it's glowing red eye slowly opened up and narrows, vowing to seek revenge.
TJ09 is now a hero! He lead the way as all the dragons returned home to their beloved families. The owners cried with joy as they were reunited with their beloved dragons. TJ09 smiled, knowing the journey was long, the battle was hard but all in all, it was worth it all. With the mission completed, the brave and heroic knight disappeared into the light, awaiting for the next time his help would be needed. - Aug 12 2009, 01:50 PM
Fangirl Says No More!
Dovealove, the 'artist' with the most shitty pixel art on the site, had a fight with TJ and decided she would remove all the art she ever contributed to the site. Not that we're complaining, less shitty art the better! However! Trouble ensues!
"Hopefuly this will slap some sense into the community, tj included to treat their artists better" - bluebell rose Jan 30 2010, 08:16 PM
More lulz was created on the thread when the mods themselves began bickering in the thread. TJ, being the prick he is, treated the 16 year old girls like shit because being fangirls, they would never stop sucking that e-penis.
This seems more like a repeat of the past, "How to treat your users". Sources have revealed that Attention-Whoretwat TJ had tried to dominate and control everything on the site and obviously couldn't handle it. This is also why he is the only admin on the forum and why no one else has the amount of eggs under their name as him.
And of course, the mods have locked this to prevent bawwwing because their egos are just too fragile to handle it. And before they delete fucking everything:
Later on it was discovered this was all an elaborate plan to manipuate the DC users into complaining and giving the fangirls more rights. As stated by Marrionetta:
"Request denied. Get back in the spriting kitchen, woman." - Jan 30 2010, 07:31 PM
Christmas '09
Twas the night before Christmas, and every member was shitting their pants in anticipation of the long-awaited Christmas dragon of 2009. But, it was soon discovered that something was amiss! There was not just one dragon to be had, but 3 beautifulrecolors. The members rejoiced, until realizing that they could each get only one, and they couldn't choose which.
This was a catastrophe! Now they would NEVAR have all the dragons! What was to be done? Why, what Dragoncave does best; whine about it. The members banded together, swarming from far and wide, and began to baww loudly in every forum thread that remotely touched on the topic in the hopes that TJ would realize the error of his ways and revert the dragons back to one color. Sadly, most of these threads have been deleted. Their lulz is lost to us forever.
(2:39:30 PM) Xylene: Is there still a way to tell what your scroll number is? SS was curious.
(2:39:38 PM) Trilby: I think my dog just fell up the stairs.
(2:39:44 PM) reddragon420: lol
(2:39:52 PM) dejavugurl: lol
(2:39:56 PM) Eruru: XD
(2:39:57 PM) Purpletail: ..and my last gold give me a daydream....ahh well
(2:40:00 PM) Purpletail: its cool
(2:40:08 PM) bluebell_rose: xD, I has in my sig, my id scroll
(2:40:12 PM) TJ09: Xylene, technically yes.
(2:40:20 PM) TJ09: If you look at your cookies
(2:40:24 PM) ***dejavugurl pokes her blue stripe egg and albino
(2:40:26 PM) Trilby: I hear a thud on the stairs and he comes in and flump on his blanket all "hrmph">
(2:40:29 PM) Trilby: .*
(2:40:30 PM) TJ09: There's one that contains the ID of the user that's logged in.
(9:55:30 AM) Diana: How -did- you code that?
(9:55:31 AM) dejavugurl: I'd prefer the gold or the gold with red and green
(9:55:32 AM) Kallistrate: same, Cinnabar
(9:55:33 AM) Diana: It sounds complex.
(9:55:34 AM) Diablo: but whatever
(9:55:43 AM) Odie: i would have much preferred each dragon to be completely random
(9:55:44 AM) Diablo: these will never be my favorite dragon
(9:55:45 AM) KitN: i would be dissapointed to get a solid gold wing set
(9:55:49 AM) TJ09: It's really simple: User ID mod 3. --Dragoncave IRC
The mystery was solved! The members discussed this new development avidly while continuing to baww about how much they hated what color they got. Suddenly, from out of nowhere, TJ pulled out his mighty e-penis and proceeded to ban several of the people talking about it, including one of his own OPs. The reason stated was that "reverse engineering went against Dragoncave's rules", despite the fact that it was TJ who told them how it was done in the first place. The remaining members, furious at their admin for being such a fucktard, proceeded to whip up a shitstorm of rage and BAWW such as had not been seen since Dovealove's bitchfit. Eventually, the IRC settled down and everyone resumed jerking off to the new pixel dragons.
The "worshipped God" of DragCave
I obviously know what sarcasm means!
Further proof they are made of fail.
Write congress- Sabbita will Proofread.
unwarranted self-importance alert!
The CEO strikes back
It took you this long to figure out loli is a troll?
