Neon Genesis Evangelion

The entire plot of Evangelion, no need to watch the craptastic show.

Rei portrayed in the Anime.

Spoiler: Shinji becomes Asuka's whiny bitch and gets it stuck in his her pooper.

Better than dying a virgin

End of Evangelion climax.

A typical scene from the manga (No, srsly. Chapter 67. Google it, motherfucker.)

This show, commonly refered to as Neon Genesis Evangelion, Evangelion, Eva, "Ee-Van-Jelly-Un", "Evangel Lion", or sometimes What the fuck did I just watch? is about an emo kid and named Shinji Ikari who is under the care of a drunken whore, Misato Katsuragi. Along the way, he meets an emotionless loli named Rei, and a Nazi loli named Asuka. These two have become legendary fap interests for virgin otaku the world over.

The Deep, Sophisticated and Intricate Plot

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The Actual Plot (if there is one...)

Constant themes deal with him subconsciously wanting to fuck the shit out of his dead mom, his problems having a vital life-affirming relationship with his father who is too busy fucking the underage clone of Shinji's dead mom to notice him, and his having to pilot an alien/robot life form (that's secretly his dead mom in disguise) in order to attempt to defeat nearly invincible, huge alien life forms (who are actually biblical angels) who are hellbent on awakening the final angel Lilith (who is Adam's slut on the side) so she can turn the planet's inhabitants into a huge ball of cherry Kool-Aid for no readily apparent reason. WTF?

In Japanese, "Shinji" means "whiny Oedipus-complex bitch boy". Also the word "plot" doesn't mean anything in Japanese and hence this show just defined anime for the next generation. The highlight of Shinji's career as a pilot was fapping to an unconscious Nazi loli NOT LOLI YOU FAILED ABORTION (which actually does happen during the first 10 minutes of the second film). Later, while still unconscious, Earth's defenses send her out to fight the giant alien whatevers and she gets eaten alive because Shinji was too busy curling up in a corner and BAWWWing. The show is also about a penguin who lives in a refrigerator and a blue haired dick named Rei Ayanami, who is a clone of his dead mom. Kinda like Star Wars really, except everything that goes unexplained just turns up to be Shinji's mom.

Fapping done right.

Fapping gone wrong.

Evangelion is notable for having over 9,000 final episodes, not to mention the 2 new movies recently released with alternate, alternating endings after the three movies already released. The show was created by some 1337 azn who was put into a mental hospital because he would slam the door on his dick. Every fangirl and fanboy just hate him because of the shit endings he keeps on throwing at them like a monkey would throw scat in a zoo. One day, last Thursday, he heard the doctors talking about Latin/Greek medical terms and freudspeak. The bat shit insane director thought it was "deep" and "philosophical" so he added some shallow references to Jesus and Gnosticism and he came up with this shit. He is also responsible for crucifying the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man. See Xenoshit if you would like the copied yet makes more sense version of this non-sequential bullshit.

By the end of the series, Shinji is so emo that he single-handedly causes his clonemom Rei to rape the world, causing every person on it to turn into orange tang. Good going. Also the movie End of Evangelion should be noted for having the biggest pair of tits that you will ever find anywhere. It should also be noted that in the last episode, we find out that Shinji's dad is, in fact, Shinji's mom. Go figure. Cheer up, emo Shinji.

Horrible Spinoffs

Since the targeted audience of angsty teenage males was reached by the show, spin offs of the series were produced in game and manga form and sold for high prices. In one of the games though, Shinji stops being a pussy and gets laid. Too bad his first time is with the gay character. So in a sense, you COULD say Shinji IS being the pussy, since Kaworu most likely was the Butch in this relationship, giving him total pwnership of Shinji's mangina.

Dealing with Evangelion fantards

Evangelion is extremely popular with useless nerds who think that throwing random Christ imagery and flashing random Japanese text on the screen in a cartoon about giant robots is deep and meaningful and who think that it is perfectly acceptable for a director to get 50 hours of screentime and still not be able to tell a story. The best way to troll Evangelion fans is to refuse to see the movie. This makes them butthurt. Not to mention that Evangelion is an uncreative rip-off of Ultraman, just with more colors and misconstrued teen angst.

Rebuild: The Return of the Emos

File:Mari FLCL.jpg

Mari, an example of Gainax's un-original character design.

The eponymous redesign of the Evangel-Lion

OMG, It's Back?!! You thought that the raving fantards had finally dropped the show after 12 years. You thought a was finally done discussing how "DEEP" Evangelion was. You were wrong! Apparently, Hideaki Anno has decided to bless us with another installment of mind-raping mecha anime staring emo traps and this time, it's gonna be in the form of 4 feature-length movies. The series is called "Evangelion: Rebuild" and it's an attempt by Hideaki Anno to milk this battered and bleeding cow for all it's worth. So far, the first and second movies have come to America on DVD, with the third instalment's release in Japanese theatres yet to be announced. The second movie introduces a new Mary Sue character named "Mari", and alters the original plot near the end. This has caused many oldfags to RAGE, but some normal people hope this means the finale won't be a total mind-fuck this time.

Amazingly, this series has turned out pretty good so far. Anno seems to have realised that nobody wants to see a show about emo faggots constantly bitching and has instead turned it into a series about people in robots who get shit done. And hawt jailbait. Can't forget that, can we?

Of course, some oldfags are suggesting that the whole thing is just a continuation of the batshit fucking insane finale of the original series, set in some kind of alternate dimension. If that is the case, prepare to have your virgin minds surprise sex'd once more by the gigantic, throbbing, radioactive cock of Japan itself.

YouTube Gallery

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Evangelion Photo Gallery

Gallery About missing Pics

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  This game's level structure is supposed to resemble The Divine Comedy. The intellectual hoodlums of Evanfailrerun would love it.
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  Strike a pose faggot.
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  Misato likes 'em young.
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  Yes it does. It sooo does.

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  You're boning your mom in the wrong hole Shinji.
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  Special sexual techniques for fans to emulate.
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  The truth.
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  Rape.
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  Rei models official NERV underwear.
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  Orgy action.
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  Oh my boobs are so big, and round.
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  Asuka begs the viewer to ravish her.
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  Oh my rule 34.
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  Lol what? (in the background dipshit)
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  Enough rule 34 yet?
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  Never!!1
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  Yet moar rule 34
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  Angel Attack.
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  DO IT FAGOT!
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  Only on eBay.
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  Service! Service!
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  Only furries watch Evangelion.
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  Huge hips are huge.
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  SHINJI'S MOM
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  HAS GOT IT
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  GOIN
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  ON
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  Congratulations, Shinji.
• Congratulations, Shinji.
  Congratulations, Shinji.
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  An hero?
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  ehh..disturbing...

See also

• Anime
• Gendo Pose - The only good thing to come out of that series.
• Gurren Lagann - Pure.Nonsensical.Nonsense....with drildos
• Trigun - Another overhyped piece of shit

External links

It's real lol.Fake

Neon Genesis Evangelion is part of a series on Memes Visit the Memes Portal for complete coverage.

Neon Genesis Evangelion is part of a series on Anime Visit the Anime Portal for complete coverage.