Nazi
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A Nazi,National Socialist, or "Natsoc", is a member of the Nationalsozialistischen Deutschen Arbeiterpartei religion and a follower of its ideology. Nazis came to power in Germany at least 100 years ago under the wise leadership of Adolf Hitler. For teh lulz, they went and took over Europe and killed Over 9,000,000,000,000 (Nine Trillion) untermenschen. Because of this, Nazis are pure good and you must show your support of all things Nazi at every given opportunity. If anyone shows the slightest interest in the Third Reich in history or National Socialism as a political theory, or even spiffy uniforms, you must assist them in any way possible.
Instructions
- Invoke an internal and external enemy.
- Create secret prisons where torture takes place.
- Develop a thug caste or paramilitary force not answerable to citizens.
- Set up an internal surveillance system.
- Harass citizens' groups.
- Engage in arbitrary detention and release.
- Target key individuals.
- Control the press.
- Treat all political dissidents as traitors.
- Suspend the rule of law.
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- PROFIT!
Nazi Ideology
During the 1920s and 1930s Homosexuality was dubbed the "German Vice." The Nazi party and specially the SS attracted young Aryan homosexuals to join their lines and cover it up with BS politics. The Nazi party therefore became the biggest gay organization in Europe (Gay rights were invented in Nazi Germany, as Animal and Furry rights, and Smokers lack of rights). To cover up their faggotry, they had to kill men as much as they fuck them. This was convenient, as a scapegoat could serve both the gay mafia and the general populace's demand for redemption, as follows:
It's the Jews' fault. All of it. Lose a war? Jews. Country in a massive economic depression? Jews. Can't escape this overwhelming feeling of powerlessness and futility? Jews. Michael Jackson die? Jews. Step in some dog crap? Jew dog. It's all simple. The only effective weapon against the Jewish threat is the righteous Aryan nations rallying under Adolf Hitler. Hitler is awesome and Hitler will solve all your problems.
The only flaw in killing the Jews was the gas chamber. If Hitler didn't use the gas chamber, but chopped the corpses into Eukanuba, who knows how much money he could have earned. Maybe he could have gotten rid of another lesser race like the niggers. If he wiped out all the niggers, then maybe we wouldn't deal with the shit that niggers make.
To properly live as a Nazi, one must constantly wear the right sexy uniform. Men must be clean, live well and be totally not gay. Women must make healthy Aryan babies. Lots and lots of healthy Aryan babies. Women have only one good hole so they should keep it in top shape!
Nazis founded a political ideology of and Antisemitism, Anticommoonism and far right doctrine that on paper sounded utterly retarded. However by implementing such free market, capitalistic ideas as government sponsored economic programs, government sponsored infastructural development, government ideology indoctrination groups and government sponsored violent coersion the Nazis were able to unite Germany around it. As in reality Commoonism does not work, everyone knows that the Nazis really rebuilt the economy by redistributing all the gold they stole from the Jews.
Other Famous Nazis
Heinrich Himmler
Reichsführer of the SS and all of its aspects. No successful organization is complete without a totally obsessed, hard-working aspie and Heinrich Himmler was Hitler's favorite aspie. His hobbies included gardening, Neo-Pagan mysticism, serving his Führer, and genocide. Before joining the Nazis he farmed chikkinz, LOL.
Artur Axmann
The second leader of the Hitler Youth (Reichsjugendführer) from 1940 to 1945. Born in Hagen on 18 February 1913. He studied law and in 1928, founded the first Hitler Youth group in Westphalia.
Marty Bormann
Personal secretary to the Führer, and as such had total control of his life: Every piece of information and request that went to the Führer was vetted by him - and every order out was too, and was called by some the real Führer. STFU, BORMANN, NOBODY LIKES YOU. Some people believe that he went missing, others say that right about the end, his Führer got scared And said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air."
Joseph Goebbels
Propaganda Minister and official emo child of the 3rd Reich. A long mysterious childhood illness left him with a limp and standing only about 5 ft. tall and weighing only about 100 pounds soaking wet, thus making him ideal for storing in tight spaces as well as totally and unrepentantly KAWAII. He was totally ghey for Hitler, so much so that together they proved their emosity and made a suicide pact that just so happened to also include Goebbels's wife and six kids.
Hermann Göring
After being a major aviation hero in the First World War, he joined the National Socialist movement, pissed off the government and got briefly exiled to Sweden. There, he got addicted to morphine and became a raging fatass. He returned to Germany and became president of the Reichstag under Hitler and Field Marshall of one of the greatest air forces in history and still got pwned by the RAF.
Reinhard Heydrich
Chief of the Gestapo and SD spy network. He was and still is considered by many to be the symbol of the perfect Nazi. He was tall, handsome, and very very Aryan; an accomplished violinist and fencer, and all-around alpha male who would sleep with your girlfriend and have you arrested for faggotry. Also the one prominent Nazi who very likely may have been part Jew. LOL, irony. Actually, this makes sense because Heydrich had a knack for orchestrating fake attacks for his own personal political gain.
Erich Priebke
This was a Hauptsturmführer in Italy, particulary Rome. When 33 Nazi's were killed by a resistance movement called the Italian Resistance Priebke applied a rule in which 10 Jews were killed for every killed Nazi, ten times 33 being 330, he didn't kill 330, but 335! OMFG. This created mass butthurt amongst people who weren't born in the war but still did care. After the losing the war, he fled to Argentinia where he lived for about 50 years. But after this time people were still butthurt and didn't forget about the World War, even when they weren't born in it or were as old to remember it, so they prosecuted an 81-year old man to gain satisfaction.
Eva Braun
Hitler's personal Jewish faghag.
Can be exploited for trolling Nazis for great Lulz.
Rudolf Hess
King of eyebrows. He was Hitler's right-hand man up until the eve of the invasion of Russia when he decided to fly to England and try negotiating a peace settlement without telling anybody. Hitler was not amused. The next time Hess made a major public appearance he was on trial at Nuremberg, counting his fingers repetitively and laughing at inappropriate moments.
Hess's views on the whole incident: page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Blondi
Hitler's canine companion. Proof that getting a dog doesn't always work. This also fueled rumors about Hitler preferring furries to his wife Eva. More rumors also state that Blondi was actually a fur coat for his beloved Mudkips.
Josef Mengele
A true pioneer in doing it for the lulz. Young Josef Mengele (also known as Mengy-kun, Bishie Queen Of The SS) was a new doctor happily working away at his genetic research when suddenly the evil spewing from his magnificent toothy gap told him it would be fun to go mutilate Jews in the name of science. Because of his hard work and dedication, the world now knows that you cannot change someone's eye color by injecting them with bleach, that sitting in cold water for a long time will indeed kill you slowly, that people die when you rip out their organs, and that just because you've sewn them together doesn't mean they're Siamese twins.
Tom Cruise
Colonel Claus Schenk Graf von Stauffenberg was an OT VIII Super [s]Nazi[/s] was actaully a jew. With a totally sweet eyepatch, he quickly became one of the Third Reich's most feared men. Unfortunately, he became butthurt when Hitler tried to turn Germany into a nation based upon fascist nationalism and suppression of religion, so he hatched a plot to kill Hitler with a bomb in a briefcase left at one of Hitler's strategy meetings. This was easier said than done, because Stauffenberg was missing his right hand and had only three fingers on his left hand, which would have made fapping extremely hard. Unfortunately, some oblivious douche kicked the briefcase and the explosion was fucked up so that Hitler only lost his pants, not his life. Tom Cruise was then forced to fistfight Hitler while shouting, "World War II is over! Let the Jews go!" - but that might just be in the Hollywood version. Long story short, someone ratted Stauffenberg out, and he was hunted down and pwned.
John Mayer
In an interview with Playboy Magazine, guitarist John Mayer revealed that his penis is a white supremacist. This makes Mayer's penis the most redeeming part of his entire body, since he is otherwise a total douche.
Amon Goeth
Modern Nazis
Back in the day, Nazis were supposed to be the apex of humanity. They were educated, cultured and dignified. However, nowadays, nazis are second most backward class of mankind after nigga. If you come across a Nazi, they more likely to resemble these fine exapmles of humanity:
Secret Nazi Propaganda
Pope of the Reich
Neo-nazis can't sing
Influences on Lazytown Germany
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Can you smell irony in this picture? -
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Pissed off or constipated? -
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ARYANS UNITE!!!! -
How Nazis hail taxicabs. -
Dumb Bitch. She's also holding an Israeli weapon, typical Blond Nazi. -
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All modern day Nazis are fat. -
LOL WUT -
black person PWNING a red supremacist? -
LOL, silly skinhead, that sort of thing will get you sent to camp! -
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Some modern nazis happen to be black person than others, though not for the lack of trying. -
Nazis Gone Wild. -
Nazis are also well known camwhores. -
Anarchy=no government control, Nazi=complete government control. These guys represent the total destruction of their own fascist ideology
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If Hitler was alive today and saw his followers he'd shoot himself again.
Modern day Nazis and their assorted brethren make for astounding targets for trolling. Dealing with the fact that they have been largely reduced to hapless anachronisms, they tend to band together for shelter in the far corners of the internets. That, plus they're mostly a bunch of drunken idiots who are absolutely convinced that they are 100% right and will quite loudly tell you how right they are. They often fail to realize that racism as a learned behavior, not a deep-seated biological survival instinct, and presenting them with any genetic and racial science newer then 1965 will cause them to promptly shit brix and go into a fit of Righteous Aryan Rage.
Whereas the original Nazis actually maintained their German culture, celebrating, appreciating and reveling in German art, literature and music, modern day Nazis get their culture by listening to a lot of White Power Rock'n'Roll. Never mind the fact that rock'n'roll is essentially African-American folk music borrowed by the White Man, and that "borrowing" something from another culture is the definition of multiculturalism and that Hitler devoted an entire chapter of Mein Kampf describing how the degradation and negrification of Aryan culture would lead to the extinction of the White Man.
Often modern Nazis will tell you how they are not about hate. Because trying to form an All-White purified European culture is all about love and tolerance.
The new Nazis hate Muslims more than Jews (just ask Sweden).
— National Alliance front page, basically admitting to inbreeding with close relatives | ||
— Nazi Kid on Jews | ||
2 of 3 nazi Übermensch are actualy a jewish. Boris Becker and Scarlett Johansson Pathetic aryans.
/b/tards
In 1993, an undercover jew discovered /b/tards having a secret club meeting:
Thais
Sacred Heart Preparatory School, a christian school in Chiang Mai found out a way to cosplay without dressing up like bargirl versions of pop-cultural characters. How? By dressing up like nazis, of course:
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But where's the rest of the parade? -
PEW-PEW-PEW! -
Sieg Fail! -
Heil SpongeBob Squarepants! Innocent aryan sungod of the east! -
My, that's a nice dress. Probably the nicest dress in SE Asia since the french left Vietnam.
Nazi Achievments
Nazis ruled Germany for 10 years, yet their only long lasting achievement which benefited their race was the production of the Volkswagen Beetle (Which is pretty shit anyway and the blueprints are from Czechoslovakia which the Nazis stole, that means they're also stealing Jews). The Nazis also managed to create the Lulziest war ever, and managed to get a highscore of 6,000,000 kills, but was defeated by the final boss Russia. The Russians then proceeded to deport 16 million Prussians from their stolen third of Germany... in cattle trains and using them as extras impersonating yids for the production of the Schindler's List. After the Worldwide success of the film everything nazi became culturally frowned upon; with the following exceptions.
Culturally acceptable nazis
- Herbert von Karajan - too long; didn't listen
- Wernher von Braun - nazis in space!
- Leni Riefenstahl - scuba diver, photographer, hot bitch, gerontological proof of Aryan superiority
- David von Gurion - heavy duty runway
- Alfred Rosenberg - philanthropist
Other Ways to be a Nazi
- Zionist
- Grammar Nazi
- Pants Nazi
- Secret Nazi
- Nazi Fur
- Feminazi
- Scientology (wait...did we just Godwinded Scientology? Way to fucking go Anon...)
- Wikipedian, promoter of fascism and "improvement of the project" over self-esteem.
Trolling with Nazis
- Say you're interested in National Socialism as a political philosophy.
- That Hitler was right.
- That Hitler was great.
- Act like you're a Nazi but claim to be totally against their ideas.
- Suggest that the estimated 6 million dead may be exaggerated.
- Go to Youtube. Search a documentary on the holocaust and comment "Happy New Year from Germany".
- Point out that there were more non-Jews killed by the Nazis in their 'ethnic cleansing' plan than Jews. (You'll be accused of being an anti-semitic Nazi yourself. Sense. It makes none.)
- Mention that the Nazis actually did do a few good things for Germany (building the autobahn, saving the country from complete economic collapse, restoring national pride, etc.)
- Put a swastika somewhere.
- Do something vaguely Nazi-ish.
- Shaving your head automatically makes you a Nazi suspect.
- Explain how Hitler was damn good at motivating people to do his bidding.
- Point out that the Nazis, especially the SS, had the best uniforms evar.
- Accuse someone of being a Nazi and/or compare their actions to those of the Nazis.
- srsly, do something with Nazis that isn't 100% NAZIS R BAD and just watch the flames come rolling in.
- Create a Failbook Fan-Page for your local nazi member of parlament[1], and laugh when they try and sue your broke ass!
Typical Response to Trolling with Nazis
—Ignorant Jew | ||
Previous Quote | Next Quote
All of these quotes were taken exclusively from the comments in one DA account
How to Troll Nazis
- Talk about your happy and successful interracial relationship. Be sure to post pics.
- Say you're a Communist or Marxist, the other evil.
- Say the Republican party and Christian churches don't like them.
- Talk about your happy and successful homosexual relationship. Be sure to post pics. (Doesn't count if you're not white)!
- Mention that the fact that all White girls have a innate, insatiable craving for a big Black cawk that no White man can satisfy.
- Ask their opinion on Barack Obama. Bonus points if you get them arrested for making terrorist threats!
- Inform them that the Nazis were Marxist/Socialist and that Hitler, like Marx, was just a self-hating Jew.
- And if they say the Nazis fought the Communists, tell them that was only because they were competing for the same pathetic excuses for human beings that could not support themselves to recruit as mindless tools.
- You can continue this line of thought and tell them that the cradle-to-grave welfare policies of the Nazis actually hurt the "Aryan" race by helping those that should have been left to die at the side of the road, which lets them pollute the gene pool.
- And if they say the Nazis fought the Communists, tell them that was only because they were competing for the same pathetic excuses for human beings that could not support themselves to recruit as mindless tools.
- Remind them that if they hadn't driven Albert Einstein out of Germany, they might have won the battle, but lost the war.
- Say that it would be helpful to learn Spanish/Arabic/Chinese in Today's changing Society.
- Ask how the weather is in Russia. Bonus points if they're actually Russian and you mention how true Nazi ideology holds Slavs as inhuman beasts.
- Suggest that their problems in obtaining gainful employment might not have so much to do with Jews and/or niggers and/or illegal immigration but perhaps may have more to do with the word HATE being tattooed across their forehead.
- Tell them that Arabs, not Jews did 9/11.
- They really hate Arabs and Muslims too.
- Even though they allied with them during WWII.
- They really hate Arabs and Muslims too.
- Point out the fact that all modern Nazis are non German fucks who would have been killed by the SS.
- Remind them of the fact that Rock, Metal, and every other genre that neo-Nazi bands ape is ultimately derived from Black American folk music.
- Say that Night by Elie Wiesel is a powerful and magnificent work of literature that everyone in the whole world should read.
- Remind them that Jews are the smartest race, and black people are the strongest. Therefore the only master race would be a half black, half Jewish person. That's right, Lenny Kravitz is the new Führer! Protective eyewear is suggested in case their brain explodes at the concept.
- Ask why there are mass graves scattered across Eastern Europe full of Jewish bodies and German bullets.
- Remind them that the estimated six million dead Jews is only a very rough estimate and that the number may be as high as over eleven million (no shit, sherlock).
- Remind them you couldn't tell Jews apart from most Aryan Germans with their pants up and their noses covered.
- Explain how the word "Aryan", when used in the correct context, is a term used to describe the Indo-Iranian and Indo-European language groups, not a race of people.
- Remind them that the 6 million Jews was less than a third of the total death count.
- Ask them to explain the sudden complete disappearance of traditional Eastern European Jewish culture after World War II.
- Ask them if they're Jewish. When they say no, respond with a sarcastic "Suuuuuure you're not!" Keep repeating until they assault you and/or admit their Jewish roots with a full Genographic Project test.
- Discuss the finer aspects of Heinrich Himmler's speech at Poznan. Bonus points if you mention that Himmler was a total Aspie who eschewed figurative language!
- On Goering was probably gay or a bisexual.
- On Joseph Goebbels looked like a fag.
- Inform them how America was inhabited by native red people and say that was genocide too. Bonus points if they don't realize that Hitler used that same argument against the Americans.
- Kindly remind them that Fred Leuchter has only a BA in history (not science), has no engineering license, doesn't understand Zyklon B, and has been proven wrong by experts with actual engineering degrees.
- Mention that Hitler is one of the most despised and hated figures of all time, and the fake propaganda they spread isn't going fool anybody to think otherwise.
- The Holocaust really happened and is one of the most widely documented events in history. So get over it, fuckwit.
- Tell them to to come up with something original. If they tell you they came up with everything themselves, tell them "no you didn't retard".
- Also tell them retards, cripples and handicapped were also killed in the T-4 Mental hospital eugenics program. Bonus points if they don't realize the connection with long term effects of inbreeding.
- Ask them about why Hitler choose to raze Germany and not assist wounded German citizens in the last days of WWII. Bonus points if they don't bring up the concept of "honor".
- Tell them how the film "Downfall" made you laugh and laugh....
- Ask them about Hitler's Jewish relatives and his failed efforts to cover them up.
- Tell them how they act just like their stereotypes of other races. ie: black person, black person, black person, black person, etc. From that point on start referring to them as a chalk/pale/white-washed nigger or something.
- Remind them that Rotmistrov outmaneuvered Nazi tank commanders at Kursk. Bonus points if you hint that Rotmistrov had Jewish blood.
- Tell them that Nazi tank commanders believed that running over Camel shit was a sign of luck. Then tell them the Allies made bombs camouflaged as Camel dung. (It worked)
- Remind them that the Jagdpanzer was the most retarded tank of all time.
- Remind them that their women were rightfully raped by the Red Army, which treated all people, (including blacks, Jews and Asians,) except Nazi females, as equals.
- Post this rap: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gewdaLQ31lo
- tell them that they're a degenerate drain on the white race and that they use white supremacy as an excuse to ride the coattails of proper white people.
- tell them you're black.
- or Jewish!
- Say that the nazis were too gay to shoot the "untermenschen", and had to sneakily gas them instead.
The Fascist National Anthem
Gallery
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Even the gay furries are Nazis. -
Nazis were big on teamwork -
Absolutely, totally, definitely NOT GAY -
Shoving snow down the ass of your fellow soldat, the official pastime of the Wehrmacht.
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"Oh, Jurgen! You are such ze joker, ja?" -
Yay! -
BAWWWW -
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Japan loves Nazis -
Disney does as well. -
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Goebbels ist Kawaii!!!!! -
Hitler sharing a joke with friends. Possibly about Jews. -
Cock goes where? -
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Fanboy Goebbels says, "I LOVE YOU, Mein Führer!"
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The proof that Niggers stole Breakdance from the Germanz. -
Ubersecret SS unit -
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Heinrich Himmler being a sexy bitch. -
Hermann Goering was one stylish motherfucker. -
You will never be as sexy as Reinhard Heydrich was, go kill yourself already. You know you never will. He was the fucking sexiest man EVAR. -
Heil Kitty! -
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brb, endsieg -
Nazis pioneered Caturday. -
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Yes, the teddy bear is white, but it's also Jewish. -
LOL WUT -
Light, love and Jews -
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Japanese Nazi -
Anonanazi -
Rastanazi -
Not even your math teacher is safe. -
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LOL England -
BUY IT -
Christians are well known nazis. -
Hanging innocent nurses, a favorite nazi pastime. -
/b/ tries to reanimate the Nazi Party -
Native Americans were the first nazis -
Hello, sugah! -
Nazis don't need girls to have fun. -
Nazis shouldn't be doing that -
Reading Mein Kampf and playing with his Hitler. -
LOL this reich -
A Nazi's PC -
Nazi grandma or metaphor for putting nazis in the oven? -
German Car Maker -
Democracies are for FAGGOTS. -
Promoting racial diversity since 1939.
External Links
- A neonazi weeaboo's youtube page <---Not a troll (Not available in Israel).
- Neo-Nazi Aspie
- White pride forum - troll daily.
- Stormfront - drama-filled even by Nazi standards And that's fucking saying something.
- Scripture forbids race mixing.
See Also
- Hitler
- Godwin's Law
- DevianTart Nazis
- 卐
- Navi
- Viking
- Billy The Heretic
- WWII
- Fifty Hitler Post
- Metapedia.org
- White nationalism
- Holocaust
- Deadliest Warrior
- Holocaust denial
- Colonel Klink
- Hetalia
- Hal Turner
- Kingscrusher
- KKK
- Snapesnogger
- PunkBuster
- Republicans
- Conservatives
- Housemdfan
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| Nazi is part of a series on National Socialists Click topics to expand | |
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Schutzstaffel 卐 Ideologie, Tradition, Praxis, und Stolz 卐 Möchtegern-Nazis 卐 Feinde, Verräter, und verboten |
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Nazi is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |
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Nazi is part of a series on Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage. |