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David Gray
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|---|---|
| David Malcolm Gray | |
| Nationality: | New Zealander 
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| Highscore | Killed 13, injured 3 |
| Top 25? | Yes, 22nd 1st: Sir Anders Behring Breivik 2nd: Woo Bum-kon 3rd: Martin Bryant 21st: Jiverly Wong 23rd: James Holmes |
| Style | Single player |
| An Hero? | No |
David Malcolm Gray is the lulziest New Zealander who ever lived. He devoted his life towards becoming the nation's greatest mass murderer through his own killing spree which lasted 22 hours, and pwn'd 13 Kiwi faggots, additionally injuring another 3. Unfortunately, his fun was short-lived, as the Anti-Terrorist Squad homed in on him and left him crippled with a multitude of bullet wounds, fatally ending his life without giving him the opportunity to become An Hero. He may have died in combat, but his heroic acts have earned him the High Score for his nation, and he will always be praised as a very important and notable citizen who contributed to the history of New Zealand.
Life
David Gray was born on November 20th, 1956, and wasted his entire life in southern New Zealand expecting to find employment and explore the world outside of his isolated shit-hole of a nation. Gray enrolled at an All-Boys High School when he was 15-years-old, and got buttfucked by the other students, forcing him to drop-out after two years of service. He had never worked in his entire 33-years of existence, both of his parents died before his 30th birthday, and he was a hueg fan of comic books. In 1990, Gray came to the realization that his life was going to be absolutely shit forever and that there was nothing he could do to change that.
Ragequit
On Tuesday evening, November 13th, 1990, David Gray caught his neighbor's daughter trespassing his shitty rental property, which made him explode into a fit of rage. For the 100th time, he walked over to his neighbor, Garry Holden's house and got into a bitchfight with him. This particular bitchfight was the straw that broke the faggot's back, and so Mr. Gray went back to his home to retrieve a .223 Norinco 84S semi-automatic rifle, and opened fire on Garry without giving him any time for his dumb-ass brain to process what was happening.
Garry's daughters, Chiquita and Jasmine, and their best friend Rewa, saw their daddy get roasted and made the 10/10 genius decision to hide in their home right next-door to Gray's property. Gray saw the little skanks running towards the house and followed them inside to play a game of Hide-and-Seek. He found Chiquita within half a second and shot her in the abdomen. Somehow, using haxxing skillz, she managed to run past Gray and towards Julie Bryson's house to cry for help despite sustaining a potentially fatal wound. By the time Chiquita had made it to Julie's house, Gray had already caused a lollercoaster in the Holden home, setting it on fire and ending the girls' little game of Hide-and-Seek. Julie drove towards the fire in an attempt to rescue the other girls, only to have Gray shoot her car and force her back the way she came. From here onward Gray went full-on Touhou and killed another 9 dumb-fucks who just happened to be standing in his way. One oldfag in particular, Helen Dickson, made a dick move and decided to call da police after Gray shot her in the leg. She had recently had a hip replacement, so she had to drag herself back home and dial 1-1-1.
At dusk, a small team of Anti-Lulz troops entered the killzone and tried to put an end to Gray's party spree. David Gray, however, was able to outsmart those bastards by pretending to admit defeat. Sergeant Stewart Guthrie encountered Gray near the sand dunes, and yelled at him to surrender, firing a "warning shot". Gray took cover behind the sand dune and shouted "Don't shoot!", leading the Sergeant to believe he was emoquitting from his mission. However, Gray made a fool out of Stewart and instantly shot him several times as punishment for being a complete retard. When the sergeant died, Gray fled the scene chanting the Troll's National Anthem and scared the fuck out of the Anti-Lulz Squad, forcing them to GTFO.
Following a successful day, David Gray proudly marched to the nearest good-looking home, broke into it, and decided to take a nap to regenerate HP.
The following day, a huge manhunt began throughout Aramoana which lasted most of the day. Gray had transformed the house he was hiding in into his own personal mancave. Unfortunately, Gray's pleasure was soon ruined by an onslaught of Anti-Lulz Officer who located him and engaged in a 2-minute gun battle. Gray managed to hit an officer in the ankle, but it didn't kill him. Gray ended up emoquitting a few moments later, and decided to run outside and take the bullets up the ass like a man. It was this action that cut his life short and ended the shooting spree. :'(
Pwned by David Gray
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Film
Some crazy bastard actually made a film adaption of this event, named "Out of the Blue". It was released around the massacre's sweet 16th anniversary and the townspeople of Aramoana got really butthurt over it. As a result of Aramoana's BAWWWWW'ing, the film was not recorded within the township, but it was released and met with positive reviews outside of said township, despite having acting worse than Tommy Wiseau on LSD.
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25th anniversary
FUN FACT: The 2015 Paris Attacks coincided with the 25th year anniversary of Gray's rampage. Not a single fuck was given.
Videos
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Graded Score
| Graded score | |
|---|---|
| Kill count: | 13/20 |
| Accuracy: | 16/20 13 killed, 3 injured. |
| Style: | 12/20 Killing spree |
| Butthurt: | 18/20 New Zealand's deadliest shooting. |
| Bonus: | 19/20 Killing a sergeant and evading arrest for nearly a whole day. |
| Total score: 78/100 (B+) | |
See also
