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GodofUnicorns
Antony "Tony" Taylor, also known as Starlight Unicorn Lord Taylor, GodofUnicorns, and NightmareMoon2010 just to name a few, is the product of his mother's drunken one night stand with a downs ridden weasel. Instead of doing the world a favor and aborting this abomination in the first trimester like a responsible woman would do; she decided to allow this poor excuse of a crotch dropping to come into this world and ruin it for everyone. Instead of spreading her legs for everyone in town, perhaps the woman should have stayed in the kitchen.
Afraid to let the fail stop there, this pile of human feces in the guise of a man eventually grew up to settle into the bastion of talent known as youtube. It was here that he immediately started making horrible music videos, sing alongs, and other general fail. This might have been where the story ended, had he not let his meager fame go to his head. Of course as everyone knows, when you have friends and subscribers on youtube, that makes you hot shit. Now, what's the next step after you've created this delusion where you're not a 30-something male with bleach blond hair and a singing voice so bad your dick fell off last Thursday?
If you said attack anyone that has even the slightest bit more talent than you then you win! (Also, you're a colossal fagot and will probably have your own ED page in the near future.) It was at this point in time Mr. Taylor came to the attention of several unnamed people and was promptly trolled. During the ensuing shit storm it came upon one person to gather more information on their target and a secret meeting was arranged. Info was gathered, chat conversations were passed around, and it came to light that our Mr. Taylor was an apprenticing Mr. Hands; but instead of being fucked by a horse he enjoys fucking them.
Straight From The Unicorn's Mouth
Below is the pile of text vomit that the subject of this article uses to describe himself to the world:
Hi i"am Starlight Lord of all Unicorns i am proud of who i am and that im vegetarian too i know what many of you will think I'm weird or strange but that dont matter to me as i know the truth and know Humans still have much to learn and see....
Well i know some spiritual people may class it as spirit or soul but in some ways thats indeed the truth as I'm in a vessel not in my own Unicorn body so what fits your human beliefs suits me too, As God gave you free will... To believe or not to believe, no one can make you believe or force their belief's upon you if thay did thay are lieing or bending the truth...
I have been sent here by God too see and feel humanity as this is the moment of grate change because we are not happy at all with Mankind what thay are doing to this beautiful world so im here to learn the best parts of being human before we make this change to Earth,i am one of the Ancient Unicorn's that lived upon earth millions of years ago but we are now in Heaven living far from humans due to human greed and selfishness,i am now here in a human vessle to understand humanity and at the same time spread a little of our peace and love and our true Magic.Me and Moonlight who is my unicorn female partner who helps me in this world and my life partner back home,we compose or remix music or edit video's that us Ancient unicorns feel suite's our ways of life & love style that we have for each other and all life all i and my love soul moonlight can only do is show you who we are by music.So enjoy our power of love and magic through music ...Love/Peace/And greetings to all from the Ancient Unicorns
True unicorn form..............
Head of a deer with a body of a horse with cloven hoofs and a lions tail.Beings of love, noble,wize purity,wisdom we tell the truth even if the truth hurts we are wild, and fierce, it is impossible to tame us. We may seem selfish but we're not we have different feelings then humans our ways of life and views are still unknown to humanity but its only because humans look upon us as fantasy but maybe one day the human race will see the truth that we are real, and embrace and live our ways of life as one with all life, creatures upon this humble earth,we are nothing like what you will find in any fantasy kids books or what many believe us unicorns too be..... traditionally humans believed that a virgin female human who was naked sitting beneath a tree could only catch us delicate unicorn's this is true but its because we are drawn to purity. Us unicorn's, who craves purity, would be irresistably drawn to a this pure girl or anything that is pure realy, we would lie down with our head in her lap but while we slept we had to be careful because humans used this weakness to hunt us, the hunter could capture us. If the girl was merely pretending to be a virgin, us unicorn would tear her apart and any human that was near to us
The "Girls" in Antony's Life
Moonlight
Antony's mystical unicorn wife, who happens to reside in the astral plane. He's recently taken to cheating on his lovely wife with another unicorn featured below, and an actual woman (if you can call her that). While one would expect that fucking other women behind your wife's back might make her a little unhappy, what Antony doesn't know is that Moonlight has been cheating on him with several unnamed parties. This means that Antony is literally full of AIDS, but then we already knew that now didn't we?
In addition to living on the astral plane, Antony's wife is so kind as to channel her soul into a unicorn stuffed animal for Antony to stick his rancid dick into every night. Most likely he's thinking of his real mom the entire time he's fucking the stuffed animal. We also have it on good authority that when Antony feels like being the woman in the relationship, which is more times than you would think with his massive cock, he rides his wife's horn. Of course while he does this he's also weeping uncontrollably about how he wishes it was really his brother's cock.
Antony also claims to have had a child with Moonlight recently, despite not having sex with her in order to have said child. Naturally since this isn't how one actually has children, we all know who the real father is. Rumor has it that the child has recently run off with someone of a familiar description to get married and have gay little kids of their own. Antony has yet to be reached about this recent development, but inside sources say that he is communicating day and night through a totally cursed ring a real witch gave him with his wife to make sure that his child returns home safe and sound.
Rarity
Not being content with simply having one imaginary unicorn in his life, Antony decided that the new love of his life would be Rarity from My Little Ponies Friendship is Magic. This not only proves that he should an hero as quickly as possible, but it also casts some serious doubts about him not being a pedophile. So not only does Antony like to fuck stuffed animals, he also likes to cut holes into pictures of cartoon characters and fuck them. Man of the year material there right folks.
Unicornorb
There's not really much to say about this one. She lost to a horse, and rumor has it her mother wants to put her in an asylum for thinking she's a unicorn. Also she has a youtube account filled with videos like the ones below:
Previous Video | Next Video
It's Blanking Time
It seems that Antony is not happy with this article, so in doing what so many have done before he hopes to erase his faggotry from the internet forever. Using the cleaver name of AncientUnicorn Antony was hoping with all his heart that he would be faster than our very own MysteryBot, guess the faggot doesn't realize futile when he sees it. What our special case doesn't understand is that you can't fucking blank pages, because you're a faggot and full of fail. Though lets not be too harsh on Mr. Taylor, he is providing moar lulz for us, and that's always a good thing.
Since our intrepid hero failed the first time in his lone man campaign to get this page blanked, he decided to suit up, put on his manliest sunglasses, and get serious. What he didn't take into account, however, is that MysteryBot isn't the be all end all of reverting vandalized pages; so again he failed. That didn't stop him though, as he went on to make several other accounts thinking that just maybe no one would notice the sudden influx of gay into this article. All of this only succeeded in getting the article protected, way to go hero. Though since he wants his edits to be in this article so bad we've decided to include some of the lulzier ones.
—Trying to rewrite the blanking section. | ||
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Chat Logs
Oh, but the craziness doesn't stop there, just take a look at a few of the chat excerpts between Mr. Taylor and an uncredited /b/rotha:
Antony, loving horses so much it hurts:
----
MoonlightUnicorn: i use to work backing yearling horses for sir mark presscot
MoonlightUnicorn: and i use to drive mares to studs
MoonlightUnicorn: well its had to say i had feelings for a mare called ribbons and it was geting very hard not to show my love so i thought the best thing i could do it leave but i felt sorrow becase i had to leave her behind
MoonlightUnicorn: it was deeper then that its like i could not stop being apart from her and she missed me too
MoonlightUnicorn: as many people think you have to rape a horse to make love or thay dont think a horse can love you back or say yes to making lover
MoonlightUnicorn: but believe me im not like them people who just shags them if i could i walk down to streets had in hoof lol
MoonlightUnicorn: i hate them people who rape animals and film them selfs doing it and making money from it
MoonlightUnicorn: yea its bacase many dont think animals can love you back in the same way as a human will do thay are wrong
MoonlightUnicorn: ribbons use to push all the other mares away from me and even the other work mates
MoonlightUnicorn: she even keeped an eye on me what ever i was doing
On the end of the world:
----
MoonlightUnicorn: i was reading more about 2012
MoonlightUnicorn: well i know that thers a black hole and the milky way and the sun all line up with earth on 21st dec 2012
MoonlightUnicorn: and that the poles will shift becase of it
MoonlightUnicorn: and that the sun's hits its peak in 2012 too
MoonlightUnicorn: well i do know that it will bring on a new world and mankind will know that thay are not ontop
MoonlightUnicorn: and half of all mankind will die
MoonlightUnicorn: some of us will ride it out some will fall from the start
MoonlightUnicorn: i know thats y we have a better chance
MoonlightUnicorn: even my human family are not safe
MoonlightUnicorn: that is what i was tould that friends and family will die
On love:
----
MoonlightUnicorn: i believe in love man with man / women with women / man with women / animal and man or women and animal its all love and its ok with me but i dont like them people who touch up kids
MoonlightUnicorn: its sick very sick
On learning from your mistakes:
----
Starlight Unicor: i killed a kitten but saved lifes after
Starlight Unicor: its called learning from wrongs
Starlight Unicor: i killed a kitten becase it would not learn from wrong
Starlight Unicor: it made a mess every where and wiped up the floor
What follows is a transcript between the author of this article and Antony:
Haudnotusnomen: Yeah, you forgot to mention the part where you jerk off to horses and rape them.
EquusLeilani: well each too there own views if we all walked around doing the same thing it will be very boring indeed,this is what makes life and being human so wonderful no one on earth are the same or do the same things....
Haudnotusnomen: That doesn't make what you're doing right. I mean that's the same excuses child rapers use.
EquusLeilani: i think that's a little different one its a child and that is sick,animals are adults plus if you know or worked with horses you know if they don't like something they will not let you do it,one kick will brake your leg or even kill you,they are stronger then children can get away and fight back so don't put the two together...
Haudnotusnomen: No. It's exactly the same, they lack the ability to say yes. They don't have the cognitive abilities to do so.
EquusLeilani: then you don't know horses at all then do we?
Haudnotusnomen: You know just because you can groom a horse to sit back and take it just like you can a child doesn't mean it's consenting.
EquusLeilani: like i said you don't know horses at all then so why go on about stuff you don't even know? i worked with horses and even if a stallion trys to make love the mare if she don't want it will kick or bite or even run away from it,so don't give this crap they can not say no...
Haudnotusnomen: Yeah dude, they can get away when there outside, but it's an entirely different matter when you're raping them in their stall now isn't it?
EquusLeilani: it's interesting who much someone who don't work with horses think they are right and the one who worked or works with horses are wrong?
Haudnotusnomen: It's interesting how someone that claims their entire thing about having sex with horses is a lie is getting pissed when someone compares people that fuck animals to child rapers.
EquusLeilani: i never do that in the stable or even tie them up only out side in the field where they choose and are free to stand or move away that's no forcing your self on them if they have like i mile to run around in...
EquusLeilani: yea making it a fun read why not?
Haudnotusnomen: So you're admitting to fucking horses again. How does it feel to be on the same level as someone that rapes children?
EquusLeilani: @@ never mind its like talking to a brick wall,you have your views i have my truth,there will be no more talking on this as you never understand...
Haudnotusnomen: Oh I understand. It's just that you want to think that the little horsey you've been sticking it to actually likes you raping her. So how long did it take before she finally just gave up and let you rape her? Are you happy you broke her spirit?
EquusLeilani: make sure you put this up on your ed page it's a good read this;)
Haudnotusnomen: Oh, deflecting the question now huh? I get too close to the truth for you?
Youtube Videos
Mirrored for great justice!
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Copyright Happy Antony
Since Antony is such an opponent to the lulz, he has decided to try taking down all the lulzy videos contained in this article. What he doesn't understand is that almost all of his uploaded videos are also against copyright as his faggoty ass doesn't own My Little Pony. Granted who in their right mind would want to, but still if nothing else you can provide lulz by giving him a taste of his own medicine.
Form for contacting Toei Animation Europe the copyright holder to the cartoon.
The material infringing their copyright, you know what to do.
Hasbro email contact, for even greater justice.
Antony's Rage
Unsettled with the trolls leaving comments on his main now deleted account, Antony screened comments before doing what all whores do and made yet another account. This new account is Antony's pathetic attempt at being an Internet Tough Guy while posing as his little brother, and has produced much lulz in the short time it's been active. Apparently our Mr. Taylor doesn't understand the fact that your rage only makes Anonymous' penis harder and so he continues to blindly pound on his keyboard in the vain hope that maybe if he cusses enough at Anonymous they'll go away. Considering this account was only opened October 22, 2010 and has produced more lulz than you can shake a stick at, this promisses to be a worthwhile investment for the foreseeable future.
Oh Shit He's Mad Now Guys
Realizing there was no hope left, our Mr. Taylor decided instead of doing what all the cool kids were doing; to set a curse upon the author of this article. What follows is the curse exactly as it was transcribed to youtube:
That thou shalt be turned into a stone,
And that all thy wits shall be turned front to back,
And that over thy face the loathsomeness shall creep,
And that as in a coffin thy limbs shall be bound,
And that light shall be withheld from thine eyes,
And that thy house and lands shall be impoverished and spoiled,
And that all the nourishment shall taste to thy tongue as wormwood,
And that thou shalt be held alien from thy fellow man,
And that these things shall be so until I release thee,
There has been unfairness done to me
I summon the elements,I invoke them,I conjure them to do my bidding
The four watchtowers whall lay their eyes and minds,there shall be fear and guilt and bad blood,there shall be submission and no pity.
I point the threefold law against thee,against thee it shall be pointed
threefold, a hundred fold is the cost for my anger and pain
Thee shall be blinded by the fear,blinded by the pain,blinded by me,binded by me,Cursed by me,So mote it be!
"North South East West
Spiders web shall bind him best
East West North South
Holds his limbs and stops his mouth
Seal his eyes and choke his breath
Wrap him 'round with ropes of death!"
It may just be a coincidence, but shortly after seeing this curse Haudnotusnomen was struck with a steel hard on that just won't go away.
Curse 2.0 Electric Boogaloo
Seeing that his original curse had no effect Antony decided to try again. The judges are still out but preliminary results say that perhaps he should try switching to a fighting type Pokemon.
Wind in the north, run through the trees
Three times three, let them see, let them see
Sands of the east, rich soils beneath
Three times three, set them free, set them free
Fires in the south, awaken from sleep
Three times three, let them see, let them see
Water of the west, flow to the seas
Three times three, set them free, set them free
Black Spirits of the night who Riseth from the shadows of hell And tormentest sinners,
Swirl about me now And hear my command!
Go to the chambers of (Haudnotusnomen) And cause him to burn
With the fires of everlasting damnation For his sin against me
Dark familiars, take his body And knot it with pain,
With cramps that seize his throat And stifle his breath,
And do not return until you have Done as I commanded,
Or I will bring the wrath of Heaven's angels on you.
They say if you do the spell properly, don't be surprised if they die in the night.
But what ye sow ye shall reap!
Effective Ways to Troll Antony
1. Pose as an Ancient Unicorn.
2. Gain his trust and confidence.
3. ????
4. PROFIT
5. Spread his secret video all around the tubes.
6. Tell him unicorns aren't real.
7. Inform him of the fact horses can't consent to sex with people.
8. Compare him to a child rapist.
Follow these simple rules and you'll be golden.
Examples of His Faggotry
—Antony, on why you should fuck your pets. | ||
Previous Quote | Next Quote
His "Brother's" Faggotry
—TheDogTheHunter, going to shit on your fuck face. | ||
Previous Quote | Next Quote
Did You Know That Antony
- Has a bigger cock than you?
- Said in his own words about his family, "thay think im mentel"?
- Likes My Little Pony?
- Has a plushie that his mystical unicorn lover, Moonlight, channels herself into?
- Has mystical unicorn magicks?
- Is working to increase natural disasters in order to kill off all those nasty hoomans?
- Used to be a God?
- Is the Lord of unicorns?
- That if you want to stop his dastardly plans you have to stop him?
- Has a God Killer after him?
- Isn't capable of learning from his mistakes?
- Doesn't know how to English correctly?
- Has Internet friends that are too scared to white knight for him?
- Doesn't understand how a wiki works?
- Thinks that page views make you instantly popular?
- Is under the impression people love freaks?
External Links
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=71DXU421 The video Antony doesn't want you to see. (Not that kind faggot.) Dead link.
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=WXJTLIS7 New link for the "Computer" room video. Dead again.
http://blogs.myspace.com/therealunicorn His myspace. Deleted.
http://www.facebook.com/MoonlightUnicorn His Facebook. Deleted.
http://www.reverbnation.com/GodofUnicorns His faggy account on reverbnation. Deleted.
http://www.youtube.com/user/NightmareMoon2010 One of his youtube accounts. Comments are being screened. New account found, see below.
http://www.youtube.com/user/EquusLeilani Newest account. Comments being screened. Deleted.
http://www.youtube.com/user/DivineHorses Newest youtube account. Deleted.
http://www.youtube.com/user/MissRarityTheUnicorn Yet another youtube account. Deleted.
http://www.youtube.com/user/TheUnicornMagic Old youtube account.
http://www.youtube.com/user/TheDogTheHunter Another of his youtube accounts. Apparently it's supposed to be his little brother. Deleted.
http://myworld.ebay.com.sg/mylittleponyfriend His ebay. Deleted like everything else.
http://www.myspace.com/566764070 His myspace. Also deleted.
http://twitter.com/#!/moonlightuni His Twitter. Another account bites the dust.
http://newmarketracehorsetrainers.co.uk/mark_prescott.cfm Info on his previous empolyer.
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GodofUnicorns is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
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