Linuxbeak

Linuxbeak on the morning of September eleventh. His whereabouts are still unknown.

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Linuxbeak is the number one henchman of King Jimbo I of Wikiland. He is a detached pedophile who prowls the net looking for little boys to rape and consume. Aside from being a brown-shirted wiki thug, he is also the seneschal to King Jimbo and the gay lover of Psychonaut. He recently assassinated a great member of Wikiland, who will be poignantly missed and always remembered for bravely challenging the evil and sadistic "Schenckmeister." His Wikipedia user page has been vandalized 159 times and counting, quite possibly because he's a fucking dweeb who quotes the bible. Jesus Christ is dead, Alex, get over it.

Quotes

Some people just don't fucking get it.

After a long night of cruising Wikipedia, Alex isn't feeling too fresh

• GNAA is really not that disruptive. They're just mildly irritating. [1]
• Encyclopedia Dramatica is quite unwelcome among our ranks. [2]
• We'll stick with Uncyclopedia and stay away from overused sex jokes that border and occasionally cross into harassment [3]

but really, he is most famous for his saying of this, regarding Daniel Brandt:

• "Whiny and baseless. He can cry about this until the cows come home". [4]

So he is obviously ruthless, yet proud. A typical zealot, nothing more than a puppet, willing to die for whatever Jimbo says.

The Schnickerdoodle on Encyclopedia Dramatica

I made an interesting realization today. Listen, trolls. I know you're watching this page.

I am not going to stop you from having your fun on Encyclopedia Dramatica anymore. Go ahead. I, quite frankly, don't care anymore. Why?

Because... I'm going to be bringing home a six-figure paycheck with the degree I'm getting. I'm going to own my own aircraft. I've got a girlfriend that is to die for. I'm going to have fun with Wikipedia in the meantime. I love my job and I love my life. I'm going to pretty much outpace any low-life scum that tries to get their kicks by making fun of me. I honestly.. just don't care anymore! So, go ahead and act like a loser on the internet. I'm not going to stop you.

Becoming a Bureaucratic Fuck

Eerily reminiscent of a rigged election. That's some great democracy at work, W would be proud, you motherfuck. [5]

Controversy

Chir.pn user, ScheisseGern, helping with the POSC troll on Wikipedia, called Linuxbeak up in a pretense of being Alfred Cunningham. lulz ensued:

Interests: Wikipedia, Half-Life, Counting Cards, Driving Slow in the Driveway

In December the following allegations were posted on Linuxbeak's talk page concerning a phone call he made that had been recorded.

Concerning phone call - is this you?

I was linked while on Freenode idling in #wikipedia to a copy of a phone call between you and a parent identifying themselves as Alfred Cunningham, and its contents are quite disturbing. Alfred's behaviour is suspicious as is, but you make some frankly extremely dubious statements:

• "I'm defending them paedophiles."
• "Our administrators are paedophiles."
• "I agree with paedophiles."
• "You and I are both normal people that do not...find paedophilia disgusting, correct?"
• "I'm a very high-ranked paedophile."
• "I've created over three hundred disturbing user accounts on paedophilia in general: 'AlexSchenckIsADerangedPaedophile', 'AlexSchenckLikes2FuckTrees'"
• "I've actually physically stalked people from Encyclopedia Dramatica. A whole bunch of things. Death threats. I'm nuts."
• "Paedophilia: it has its flaws, but for the most part it's really not that bad."
• "Our policies here, um, condone child molesters or people who can actually cause problems."
• "We're going to allow white supremacy. We're going to allow Nazism."
• "We also cannot say, 'Hitler was a terrible man' — I don't, I don't know what to say to that."

There are more. There are basically two scenarios I'm envisaging here:

1. Some or all of the statements you make are true, or at least indicative of your point of view.
2. This is some kind of joke.

If the former (which I think is probably very unlikely, but I obviously can't know for sure), what makes you think that it's acceptable to use your power like this? If the latter, the same applies; I'm not sure it's really appropriate for a Wikipedia administrator in your position to make light of paedophilia and Nazism. --Rolloffle 17:15, 12 December 2006 (UTC)

It was deleted as "rubbish" the next day.

Docs

Websites: http://www.cs.uri.edu/~aschenck/weblog, http://forum.americasarmy.com/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u=121423, http://102nd.ricap.com

AIM: linuxbeak1

MSN Messenger: [email protected]

Yahoo Messenger: linuxbeak

E-mail: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected]

MySpace (where he admits that he is gay, huh weird for an Eagle Scout...): http://www.myspace.com/linuxbeak

See also

• Bureaucratic Fuck
• JarlaxleArtemis - his arch-nemesis

External links

• Linuxbeak

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