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Benzos

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Benzos or benzodiazepines (also known as Xanax, Valium, Klonopin, Ativan, and many more) are easily the most widely abused type of prescription drugs. Any doctor will give them to you if you so much as mention them or say hello (or that you have anxiety). But, if you're too much of a pussy to go outside, you can find always find them in your mom's medicine cabinet, just look for pills that end in "-pam" or "-am." Best way to take them is to stick them under your tongue and troll message boards. Anabelle Lotus died because her wildebeest of a mother popped Xanax throughout her pregnancy, along with all the booze, dope and jenkem that goes along with the juggalo lifestyle.

Also known as the "I did IT FOR THE LULZ!?" drugs, due to the fact they will cause you to lose inhibitions and memory much more efficiently than anything else and often lead to sex with whales (literally and figuratively), fits of emo, pwned 16 year old girls and five broken windows, small plastic toys stuck in your anal cavity, burnt drapes and an eviction notice.

Benzos are also easily obtainable from online Indian "pharmacies" AKA they don't need a prescription to ship them to you, this is also highly illegal but you probably won't get caught. The "generic pills" one may receive may or may not come stapled between two pieces of cardboard, wrapped in a ziplock bag, and have the name misspelled on the handwritten label. the pills are also crumbly, white, unmarked things that probably contain lead, but damn do they fuck you up.


Rohypnol

...and he leaves a ring of mud around your pussy.

Rohypnol (flunitrazepam) AKA "roofies" is a great aid when doing a bit of raep -- that is, if you don't like the struggle (And who doesn't?). Makes any fugly fucktard irresistible to the opposite sex. Especially useful when attempting to get a nice tight 16 year old girl. Even though the age of consent in most states is 16 you still want to rape because science has proven it makes the cunt taste sweeter. Anyways, it's not considered rape if she's asleep, amirite? They never say no when they're asleep.

The trick with Rohypnol is to slip it in their drink without them noticing, or otherwise, if you're doing it wrong, they will set a couple big-nigs after you. You should first practice on your sister, or mother. Gets extra points because they forget your face and can't report you to the cops but they will have recurring terrifying nightmares and half-memories to haunt them for years to come - epic win!

Xanax

Possibly, one of the best known and most abused benzo that is ridiculously available from any dealers or friends. If you're too stupid to know who to get them from or have little or no friends at all, just ask that kid or retard with ADHD if you could taste one. They come in various milligrams such as regular pills or into sections (bars). One pill or piece of it from a bar is enough to make you forget what you had for lunch and maybe where you left your iPod. The more you take, the stronger it works. After sobering from Xanax, lulz ensues after realizing you lost your iPod which will result in making you want to become an hero.

Valium

If you're not a complete brain dead teen and know who the rolling stones are, you know what Valium is. It's the shit your mom takes when you throw a fit in the car on the way home from wal-mart after she refuses to get food from the pre-made food section because it doesn't come on food stamps. This one is a bit tricky to find on the streets but you can most likely find a bottle sitting next to a few empty beers on the couch that your mother is leaning against. Sorta breathing... Who cares? At least you got the Valium. Mission accomplished.

Klonopin

Kind of like Xanax but you normally take way to many and run around your neighborhood trying to bum pills and cigs even though you have cigs in your back pocket and more pills in the car. Also you think it's totally a great idea to talk to everyone about how fucked up you are. Although much like Xanax dosage wise, the only reason you take it is because that's all the doctor will give you because you look like a strung out drug addict every time he sees you.

Ativan

Also kind of like Xanax except with an even shorter half-life which means faster-acting and more intense effects. One pill or piece of a bar is enough to totally fuck you up like Xanax, and if you take much more than that, epic lulz is likely to insue. It's rarer and less available than Xanax or Valium, and doctors are reluctant to prescribe it due to how addictive it is. Similar to other benzos, best when mixed with AlcohLOL.


Benzos

is part of a series on

Drugs

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