London Olympics

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Because there are lots of Pink Swastikas floating around!

It all began Last Thursday, when officials revealed the hip new London 2012 Olympics logo to the public. This new logo was supposed to be urban, awesome, active and extreme; however, it turned out to be one of the most ghastly sights since the public broadcast of Janet Jackson's nipple piercing. The cost of this logo to British taxpayers was a whopping £400,000 (about $604,000). Yes, it cost that much for someone to draw two simple, ugly geometric figures with a pair of highlighters.

The public's reaction was nothing short of outrage, and the logo was described as "a broken swastika" [1]. It's amazing how the campaign was so bad that it's brought back nightmares of World War 2 and the Holocaust. In fact, careful examination of the design will invariably reveal its resemblance to two people having buttsecks. You see it now!

None of the British public like it. A 13 year old boy could've done better for a fiver!

Animated Epilepsy Version

As though the standard logo wasn't bad enough, the official website also featured a flash animation of the logo in action. The animated version involving a diver flashed so rapidly that it caused epileptic fits across Britain, exactly what Pokemon did to Japan and the Church of Scientology did to the Epilepsy Foundation. The offending animation was removed from the site, but a segment of the animation has been preserved on ED for those who are still interested in what it feels like to have a seizure.

Fan-Created Designs

As a result of the increasing outrage over the logo many different fan versions were submitted to the official site and numerous others keen to cash in on all those delicious Olympian-clicks. Most of them were desperately poor and riddled with cancer however, there was one design that stood out amongst all the others:

Yes, someone was smart enough to implement the beloved Goatse into their submission thereby creating possibly one of the greatest and most lulzworthy symbols ever devised. It even made it onto live television. The person responsible for the playful tomfoolery was a poster on the British imageboard B3ta.

A Challenger Appears: Chicago 2016!...oh shit, it's Rio 2016

President Obama, his wife and Oprah Winfrey spent quite a lot of time in Copenhagen, petitioning for Chicago to be the location for the 2016 games. Obama feels that Greece and England shouldn't have all the fun by keeping graft and waste-ridden athletic competitions to themselves, and needs to feed his ego by being a president who personally brings Olympic games to the USA. Obama was pressured by Oprah and his homies back on the street to get the games so they could get all that IOC money to dress up parts of the ghetto. That is tear down some housing projects, throwing some poor niggers on the street to build a state of the art Olympic village for the athletes. Construct more overpriced venues so they can overcharge the IOC to build facilities with low standard materials, and cheap labor so they can pocket the difference. After the games are over let the facilities become abandoned and fall to ruin to be overrun by the same squatters they through out on the street 4 years prior.

If Chicago had hosted the games, new logos and the city's storied tradition of political crony-ism and corruption would surely have generated enormous lulz. But Obama and his wife decided that he was so amazing with the Nigra Powers that they only gave 20 minutes speeches after a crappy video about how great Chicago is. Then again they both probably knew their beloved city did not stand a chance to Rio. Rio has things that Chicago didn't, Hot Beaches, Hot naked girls, titties and Hot underage naked girls, which won over the crown in Copenhagen, the CP capital of Europe. All Chicago has is Lake Michigan with fat slobs laying of the beach.

Alas, Chicago was voted out on the first round. There goes the chance that Chicagoan Marc Griffin's High Caliber Table Game, Bulletball, would become an Olympic Sport. However, Rio does have shantytown slums, beaches, hot bitches and a child prostitution network that even ACORN would evny. This raises Pedobear's hopes that Bangkok, Thailand will one day host the games. With Fox News and Obama's conservative opponents voicing concerns of President Obama's crony corruption, and a video of a kid being beaten to death in that fine city. With these corruption and safety concerns the IOC decided to give the 2016 games to Rio a city just as run down and corrupt and crime ridden a chance to suck on the International money tits. So now Rio can tear down the favela's, throwing niggers out on the street, to build an Olympic village and facilities that will be abandoned after use, to fall to ruin and be overrun by he same squatters they through out 4 years prior. They are already well on their way with creating a shitty logo that is being blamed for plagiarism.

False Flag Attack Conspiracy

Many believe that a carefully orchestrated terrorist or 'nuclear' attack is about to be staged, to unify the planet and usher in a New World Order, based upon the presence of swastika and Illuminati-symbolism (subliminally transmitted to the brain) as depicted in the following video:

The Great Ceremony

Basically this arse of a "display" started off with a magnificent delving into the uncared realms of English history. Deep, deep into the unexplored histories of boredom where mutton-chopped crap actors wandered around the stage like lost souls in a mystic pub. All the while, idiotic commentators blathered into their spit covered microphones about the importance and significance of all these period clothed twats. Finally, after Kenneth Branagh had finished his cigar chomping gurn-fest, strutting around the Olympic playfield like a demi-god, large polystyrene sculptures of implied penor jutted out of the ground, while the grinning volunteers dances merrily around the balls, happy for their twelve seconds of fame.

All the while, renowned wax-faced David Beckham was clumsily driving a speedboat around the Thames, with a strategically placed token black girl holding the quivering Olympic zippo lighter with undeserved joy. This eventually culminated in a gangbang of shitty unknown sportsman setting fire to a great shinning flame in the center of the olympic stadium, simply illuminating Britains inability to create something even close to the grand chinese drum/firework/child labor explosion of an opening ceremony.

And to top the entire mountain of bollocks off, Paul Mccartney shambled onto the stage and croaked out a wheezy dying man's version of "Hey Jude". Just to remind everyone in England that all their real pop stars are dead, dragging the entire countries respectabiilty into the grave with them.