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Rolando Mendoza
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Rolando Mendoza looks like it was written by pseudo-intellectual 13-year-old boys. Look out for unfunny Uncyclopedia bullshit, boring in-jokes, and angsty teen-ery. You could also add in actual humor.
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Rolando Mendoza was an infamous failipino mass murderer and hostage taker who killed 7 worthless chinks and two other pigs.
Rolando Mendoza graduated from the Failipine College of Criminology (wow, they have schools in a third world shithole!) with a degree in criminology, joined the Pigslippines National Police force as a patrolman, and rose to become senior inspector. He was decorated 17 times for his gayness and honor, and was described by colleagues as tryhard faggot and gay. In February 1986, Mendoza led a group of policemen that accosted a van carrying 13 crates full of money, which former Philippine president and dictator Ferdinand Marcos apparently trying to smuggle out of the country. Mendoza and his team turned the shipment over to authorities, for which he was declared one of the Ten Outstanding Policemen of the failppines by the Jaycees International that year. He deserved to be number 1 for killing dog eating chinks like him.
On April 9, 2008, hotel chef Christian Kalaw alleged that he was accosted by Mendoza and several other officers over a parking violation. Kalaw alleged that the police planted 1 million meths and weeds that make pinoys homosexual in his car, forced him to take the drug, and accused him of being a meth fucker. Mendoza was also charged with gay rape in a 1996 incident, but the case was dismissed when the complainants did not show up to court.
August 23, 2010 was the best day in Filipino history. Rolando attempted to board a chonky chingling chong services tour bus as it was taking on riders. After Mendoza requested a free ride and was soundly declined by the driver, Mendoza pulled out his m16 and 1911 and then handcuffed the driver and forced him to drive to Rizal park. Almost an hour since the hostage taking, six chingalings were freed. By noon, three retard chinks volunteered to be taken hostage. Around 2pm, Mendoza posted several notes on the windows, one of them was "3pm deadlock". Shortly after sundown, the office of the ombudsman denied Rolando's request to be reinstated to the police force, but assured him that his case would be reopened. Some dumb mayor delivered the ombudsman letter to the hostage scene. Mendoza called the ombudsman decision "fucking garbage" claiming that it did not answer his demands. A few hours later Mendoza became very angry that his brother was arrested and claiming that "if you don't release my brother in 5 minutes i will execute everyone in this bus" 5 minutes later.... 9 STUPID SEA MONKEY CHINKS ARE DED LOLOLOL. The bus driver Lubang escaped that bus and bleated that everyone involved was dead. The swat team surrounded the bus around 7:37 but failed to stop Rolando's killing spree. The dumb pigs have no other option but to throw tear gas in causing the hostages to cough. Rolando followed the coughing sounds of other hostages then shot on the spot. Rolando attempted to escape, but the bus but got sniped (finally it stopped lol but 8 sea oogas are ded).
Graded Score
| Graded score | |
|---|---|
| Kill count: | 8/20 |
| Accuracy: | 19/20 8 killed, 8 injured. |
| Style: | 15/20 "hostage niggas" |
| Butthurt: | 13/20 CHINH CHANG CHONG PHIRIPPINES Y U SUKA HANDRING HOSTAGE TAKING SITUACHON. |
| Bonus: | 19/20 Killed 2 other pigs. |
| Total score: 49/100 (B) | |
Wanted Level:
Federal Bureau of Investigation
