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Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/August 1, 2023: Difference between revisions

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imported>The PolishPrince
Created page with " {{AOTN|God|Morgan freeman is christ.jpg| '''God''' (also known as weev, Allah, Cthulhu, Flying Spaghetti Monster, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya|Haru..."
 
imported>The PolishPrince
Already used God.
 
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{{AOTN|God|Morgan freeman is christ.jpg|
{{AOTN|Satan|Satan.gif|




'''God''' (also known as [[weev]], [[Allah]], [[Cthulhu]], [[Flying Spaghetti Monster]], [[The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya|Haruhi Suzumiya]], [[Lil B]], [[House]], [[Josef Fritzl]], [[Black Jesus]], [[GodJesus]], [[Xenu]], [[Moot]], [[Yahweh]], Odin, Verus, [[Wise Beard Man|Zeus]], and Morgan Freeman) is the incredibly cruel, sadistic, psychopathic, homicidal, sociopathic, and illogical to the point of madness asshole kid with a magnifying glass. He/she is generally accepted by all religions and cultures as the [[troll|biggest, most successful troll of all time]]. It is claimed that <s>he/she</s> [[Personal Pronouns|zie]] is also a [[lie]] or a scam set up by the [[Jews]] for the [[lulz]].
'''Satan''' is too cool and notably the best known [[troll]] in the history of the [[universe]], given the most names out of any supernatural entity, even [[God]]. He is also falsely believed to be the bane of [[good]]. He has admitted to being the bane of good, but since he is a liar he is then necessarily not anything he claims to be. Satan is also known to say that he is wrong most of the time and he will lose the ultimate battle.


He is simultaneously the [[Hero|protagonist]] and [[Evil|antagonist]] of the [[Bible]], a book which has somehow sold more copies than ''[[Harry Potter]] (but still not as much as [[Lord of the Rings]])'', making it the most successful work of [[fiction]] evar (because ''Lord of the Rings'' is [[truth|'''totally''' 100% nonfiction]]. The Bible, the chronology of God's Adventures, is a volume of [[trolling]], [[extreme]] [[violence]], [[incest]], [[AIDS|plague]]s, [[rape]] and other sorts of [[epic win]]. [[Some argue|It is believed]] that God created the universe for no other reason than to play a [[game]] of [[The Sims]]. He tends to be a major [[douche]]. He also appears to have taken some kind of anger management class in between the Old and New Testaments. [[Catholic]]s say that happened because [[Jews]] don't know what they're talking about. Jews just don't care. God also appears in other works such as the [[Koran]] and [[Mormon|The Book of Mormon]], prompting disagreements among God [[fan]]s as to who has the biggest [[canon]]. God will never answer prayers because He is too busy for [[you]].  
Satan knows that the only [[reality]] is the carnal reality, the material world and its laws. Satan was [[permabanned]] from heaven for giving this knowledge to Eve, who had to tell Adam because this ultimate truth went way over her head. Adam and Eve were subsequently banned from Eden because they began to cover up their sexyparts, successfully ruining God's only dick joke, marking one of Satan's best trolls [[evar]].


Satan is the light of salvation for human-kind, taking all of God's mistakes under his large black wings and protecting them with his irrevocable power. Satan is the answer to the paradox "Can God make a rock so heavy that even he cannot lift it?" Satan is that rock. Now despite,his bad reputation,Satan is one of most honest,sincere and cool individuals ever to exist so... NOW WORSHIP SATAN FOR ALL E-TERNITY, PATHETIC MORTAL.


|Yes.  It's All His Fault And His Hating You That You Can't Get A Girlfriend|Condom|Vaping|Opioids}}
|You Can Alway Make A Deal With The Devil For That Girlfriend You're Pining For|Condom|Vaping|Opioids}}

Latest revision as of 21:34, 30 July 2023


Satan

Satan is too cool and notably the best known troll in the history of the universe, given the most names out of any supernatural entity, even God. He is also falsely believed to be the bane of good. He has admitted to being the bane of good, but since he is a liar he is then necessarily not anything he claims to be. Satan is also known to say that he is wrong most of the time and he will lose the ultimate battle.

Satan knows that the only reality is the carnal reality, the material world and its laws. Satan was permabanned from heaven for giving this knowledge to Eve, who had to tell Adam because this ultimate truth went way over her head. Adam and Eve were subsequently banned from Eden because they began to cover up their sexyparts, successfully ruining God's only dick joke, marking one of Satan's best trolls evar.

Satan is the light of salvation for human-kind, taking all of God's mistakes under his large black wings and protecting them with his irrevocable power. Satan is the answer to the paradox "Can God make a rock so heavy that even he cannot lift it?" Satan is that rock. Now despite,his bad reputation,Satan is one of most honest,sincere and cool individuals ever to exist so... NOW WORSHIP SATAN FOR ALL E-TERNITY, PATHETIC MORTAL.

(( You Can Alway Make A Deal With The Devil For That Girlfriend You're Pining For ))


What have I missed?
 		Condom
2 days ago 		Vaping
4 days ago 		Opioids
6 days ago
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